


Circumstance

by futureimperfect, Miri Cleo (miri_cleo)



Series: Circumstance [1]
Category: Law and Order SVU - Fandom, Original Work
Genre: BDSM, Cunnilingus, F/F, Femslash, Original Femslash, Past Relationship(s), Pre-Femslash, Spanking, Threesome, Whipping, Workplace Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-01-18
Updated: 2010-01-27
Packaged: 2017-10-06 10:23:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 22
Words: 84,385
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/52626
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/futureimperfect/pseuds/futureimperfect, https://archiveofourown.org/users/miri_cleo/pseuds/Miri%20Cleo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Summary: So, once upon a time, there were three friends, and those three friends (who are all slightly obsessed with minor characters that no one remembers, well, except for that one not so minor character), anyway, they decided to write a story together. This is that story. Don't get too confused though, because this story doesn't particularly have a plot. It's just a rambling little thing that follows the lives of Alex Cabot and Patrice LaRue and the people that they meet (women mostly, though there are these two guys). We're not sure where it's going, or where it's going to end, but we're thinking that some other people out there might like to read along and find out.<br/><br/><br/><a href="http://community.livejournal.com/circumstance_ff/15680.html">Circumstance Series: A Reading Guide</a></p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Coffee

**Author's Note:**

> Chapter Summary: Alex Cabot and Patrice LaRue meet for the first time out of court.
> 
> Disclaimer: Law and Order SVU belongs to Dick Wolf and NBC.
> 
> A/N: We would like to note that this fic, as it progresses, is in no way meant to represent an entirely realistic representation of the BDSM Scene. This is a fictionalized, somewhat Romanticized account, in which many of the intricate details are left between the lines. However, despite the poetic license, we hope the portrayal is thoughtful and enjoyable.
> 
> Additional Notes: Patrice LaRue is a defense attorney portrayed by Jeri Ryan in the episodes "Baggage" and "Hardwired."

It had been a long day, but closing arguments had made it seem even longer. And it wasn't even five o'clock when Alex left the courthouse and made her way to the little coffee shop half a block away. She wished it was a better-kept secret, as it was especially busy...all the time it seemed. She ordered a nonfat mocha, both indulging herself and ruining the purpose by asking for whipped cream. And looking forward to that was some consolation for how long the line had been.

Alex sighed heavily, annoyed at the wait, which was becoming excessive even with the volume of customers. As she turned to look around the store she spotted Patrice LaRue and pursed her lips. The two had never crossed paths there before, but she supposed it was bound to happen eventually.

Patrice was still beside herself after her ExParte meeting with Donnelly earlier in the day. She had phoned her assistant to have an order sent over and had waited in person to make sure the clerk received it. Her boss was indeed pleased, as well as impressed; she had the distinct feeling her bonus this year would be substantial. She checked her watch, not quite time to call it a day yet. Besides, she had a summary judgment motion to go over tonight. The blond, by habit made her way to the coffee shop after leaving the courthouse, and she ordered her usual vanilla latte at the counter. She paid and tipped a full dollar for the $3 coffee. Pay it forward, she thought. She wasn't in the habit of noticing people in a crowd, however, she paused as she sighted the striking form of ADA Alex Cabot a few feet away. She wondered if she should say a polite hello.

"Counselor," Alex said, nodding as she caught the blonde's eye. She heard her drink called and plucked it from the counter, wrapping her hands around the cup.

Patrice did her best to keep work and the rest of life separate and generally succeeded, as such she had rarely seen Alex on such neutral ground. However, she couldn't deny that she had been impressed by Alex's presence. The woman had an aura of class about her that Patrice admired and subconsciously envied. She nodded in reply, reaching for her coffee and gave a compulsory reply, "Court today?"

"Just playing the waiting game," she replied. Alex pushed her hair back and turned fully towards the woman. Defending child rapists was hardly the thing to recommend one's morals, but Alex wasn't one to judge based on work. She would be the first to admit that the woman was damn good at her job, and in the most detached way, their meetings in court were a pleasure.

Patrice smiled slightly and took a sip of her latte. She was about to take her leave and make for the door when she paused, good reason leaving her for half a moment as she motioned to a few empty chairs by one of the windows. The last time she had been in court with the ADA it had been a monster of a case and, she would now freely admit, a monster of a client. Truth be told, she hadn't pushed her hardest for a mistrial and had been reprimanded by the senior partners for it. However, she needed to sleep somehow. She looked at Alex, "Do you have a minute?"

"Mm," Alex nodded as she swallowed the sip she had been taking. It could be good to know a defense attorney like Patrice outside of work. Alex had not, at least, lost that instinct, that edge. And if she had her pick, they might all have Patrice's assets, both mental and, Alex shamelessly thought, physical. She pulled out a chair and sat, interested in where this might lead. "I would be surprised if I was called back anytime soon," she admitted.

As they sat, Patrice suddenly realized she didn't know quite what to say to Alex. Something in her had just wanted to keep her from walking out the door just then. Luckily though, talking was one of her better skills. "I just wanted to congratulate you on the O'Donnell case. Not like I'm in the habit of saying such things, but I didn't mind losing that one." She took a sip and qualified the statement, "Much anyway."

That wasn't what she expected to hear, but Alex had the grace to simply smile instead of offer a self-satisfied smirk. "Thank you." She leaned back and crossed her legs. "I won't pretend I wasn't expecting a mistrial at any moment."

Patrice appraised the ADA, wondering what it took to get past that cool exterior. She tried forcefully to keep her face impassive, "Quite honestly, so was I. I'll admit that was the first time I've heard an expert for the prosecution yell at the defendant in open court."

"People can be so unpredictable when it comes to things like that," Alex replied coolly. She couldn't quite tell if LaRue was actually fishing to see if it had been planned--not that it mattered when all was said and done.

Patrice shrugged and took another sip, "I suppose, but enough about work. I don't suppose you get weekends with your caseload?"

"If I got them, I'm not sure I'd take them." Alex chuckled lightly. She wondered if accepting Patrice's offer to sit was about to pay off. "Are you asking if I've managed to scrounge up a personal life?"

Patrice choked a bit, she usually tried to be more coy, but Cabot was seeing right through it, "Well....I suppose tangentially perhaps."

"Why don't you tell me what you do with your free time," Alex said as she leaned forward a bit, "so I can try to live vicariously." There was something about her that brought it out in Alex--and now she was finding that it wasn't just in court. She was half finished before realized what she was saying, but she wasn't one to stop.

"I'll happily tell you, if you want to vicariously deal with a mountain of motions to dismiss and suppress, coupled with the everlasting joy of the billable hour." She couldn't help a small chuckle, "The 41st floor does however, have a nice view." She set her drink down and ran a finger over the top of the cup absently, "Though, I'm considering trying to live a little. I haven't done much but work since I moved from L.A., and I think it's about time."

Patrice's finger caught Alex's eye and she followed it for a moment before looking back up. She was willing to bet that her penthouse had an equally nice view, but Alex kept that card to herself. It had taken nearly three years to get her funds out of legal purgatory when she got back; the smell of mold and the view of a dumpster were still with her. "You've picked a good place to do it."

Her gaze lingered on the blond for a moment, her expression softening, "That's what they tell me." Her hand moved involuntarily to the pendant around her neck, remembering how she had been walked out on even before she had come back East, as she replied. She thought of leaving it at that, but the long week was making her reckless and she continued, "Don't suppose you'd mind showing me a little of it sometime? Honestly, this place gets beyond me a bit." The comment dangled, and she wondered how Alex would react, but she judged it to be innocuous enough not to come back to bite her should the ADA have no interest.

Alex let the comment linger for a moment, as if she were toying with it. "I'd be happy to," she replied, leaning back again, uncrossing and recrossing her legs. Maybe she was being a little reckless too, but she needed to start living again. It was past time.

Patrice raised an eyebrow at the response, trying not to let her eyes slide down to Alex's legs, which were not well hidden beneath the small coffeehouse table. "Just let me know when you're free." She smoothly pulled out her card, offering it to Alex. "I won't pretend to have a full social calendar."

Alex chuckled as she took the card, running her thumb over the embossed text. She took out one of her own and dug around for a pen. "This is my cell," she said, writing the number on the back after she found one.

Patrice took it and rose to leave, not wanting to overstay her welcome. She extended a hand to Alex, flashing the other blonde a rare warm smile "Looking forward to hearing from you soon."

Alex rose and took Patrice's hand, clasping it not with her professional handshake but with more of a blatant caress. Instead of a smile, she offered a smirk. "I'm free this weekend. I'll call you then."

It had been too long since Patrice had felt that particular energy, and she was surprised to feel her stomach quicken at Alex's expression. She reached into her bag and removed her sunglasses, though the daylight was beginning to wane, it was an old habit from the years of Los Angeles sun. "Sounds great. Glad I stopped for a third round of coffee today."

"Me too," Alex said, this time smiling. There was something about this that was refreshing, but Alex didn't have time to dwell because her phone was vibrating. "Enjoy your evening."

"You too." Patrice turned and made for the door, a slight spring in her step.

Alex glanced up, smile lingering still as she watched through the lightly tinted windows as Patrice walked away. The voice in her ear was telling her that her evening was about to get a lot more complicated, but she continued to watch until Patrice's back disappeared around a corner.


	2. Atmosphere

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Summary: Alex and Patrice's first date surprises them both.
> 
> A/N: We would like to note that this fic, as it progresses, is in no way meant to represent an entirely realistic representation of the BDSM Scene. This is a fictionalized, somewhat Romanticized account, in which many of the intricate details are left between the lines. However, despite the poetic license, we hope the portrayal is thoughtful and enjoyable.
> 
> Disclaimer: Law and Order SVU belongs to Dick Wolf and NBC.

Alex left the office early in order to go home for the dogs. Both Porcelain and Persia were surprised to see her--she could tell by even Porcelain's almost uncontrollable wiggling. And within moments of getting their leashes on, she was headed to the closest entrance to the Park. It was refreshing, Alex found, to be out because she was actually looking forward to this. She had no idea what to expect from LaRue, but there was something about that that didn't bother her as much as she thought it might.

Patrice checked her desk clock for the third time that afternoon. . She sighed and started scraping together some papers to take home with her. It was early in the day to be packing it in, especially for her, but today she just didn't care. Honestly, she had gotten little done that afternoon, the stress of the previous week's trial still receding. She put on her coat and glanced down the hall to check for any of the partners before making a hasty move for the elevator. Reaching the street, she took a deep breath. It was a rare crisp fall day in the city, and she felt the stress of the day start to melt as she made for the park.

When she saw the blonde, Alex took off her sunglasses and waved. The dogs both followed her line of sight, not knowing what to expect but knowing that they were waiting for something. "I'm glad you made it," Alex said, smirking.

Patrice smiled at Alex, "Me too. I can't remember the last time I left work this early. Good to see you again." Her gaze then moved from Alex and down to the dogs, "But I haven't had the pleasure of meeting you two before."

Alex chuckled as she scratched the larger, white dog behind the ears. "This is Porcelain." The smaller, ginger-colored dog was wiggling excitedly as she inched nearer to Patrice. "And that's Persia. She likes to make people think that she doesn't get any attention at home." Though it was fair to say that Porcelain, with her cool demeanor, was Alex's favorite of the two.

Patrice leaned down to pet Persia, smiling at the dog's antics. She looked back up at Alex, "They're beautiful. I love dogs, I really miss having them around…just don't have the time to give one the attention it deserves right now." She stood back up and glanced around quickly, taking in the fall scene, "So, show me what I've been missing out on living in my office for the past year?"

"Thanks," Alex said, smiling as she made her way through the entrance. "it's a good thing I have a walker for them. To be honest, it's incredibly selfish of me to have them, but..." Alex shrugged. Having dogs was something she was accustomed to, something that made her feel normal and home again after the Program. She directed their steps towards the Reservoir. "I always think it's nicer to see the park at this time of day than in the morning when everything is still grey." She chuckled. "I don't really get to get out much either."

The two women fell into a comfortable pace side by side as they began to walk along the path. "I don't imagine you would, you probably have more matters pending than I do on any given week." She put her hands in her coat pockets, even at nearly 60 degrees, she was cold after so many years in the never-changing summer of L.A. There were so many rumors flying around the NYC legal community about the ADA that Patrice was curious to learn more about her first hand. Finding the right way to ask, however, was proving difficult. She settled on a neutral topic instead, "Do you have any cases with Donnelly? I just had an interesting meeting with her last week."

"No at the moment, but I've known Liz for years. She was my boss at one point in time." Alex still tried cases before Liz, despite their arrangement, but those cases were few and far between. And the judge had been far more to her than simply a colleague for quite some time. "Have you been before her then?"

Patrice wondered for a moment what it would be like to have one of her bosses as a judge, shivering a little at the idea of Thom Levin or Mike Koch in black robes. "No, no formal appearances. I just needed a TRO last week and she was very understanding. Quite honestly, I was a little surprised."

Liz had a reputation as both a liberal feminist and a hardass--either and both could be enough to make any attorney nervous. "She doesn't like bullshit," Alex replied, knowing this from extensive experience.

Patrice smirked, "I honestly can't blame her, what with the lines she probably hears on a daily basis." She glanced quietly over at the other blond, admiring how striking she looked in the rapidly dimming light. "Working for her must have been a trip though, how long ago was that?"

"Four or five years ago...before I was shot," Alex said. She managed to keep her voice cool, but it wasn't easy, even after so long, to be so casual about what happened. "She's a damned good prosecutor." Alex smiled, remembering how it was never a nuisance to sit second chair to Liz, even though she had made it out to be.

"I'm curious to see," she said, glancing at Patrice, taking note for the first time of the sun kissed glow clinging to her skin, "what you think when you actually end up on her docket."

Patrice cringed slightly at Alex's mention of the shooting. She dealt with such topics day in and day out, but she found hearing this woman speak so blatantly about it to have a profound effect on her. She nodded and gave Alex a slight smile, "me too, I'm sure it's bound to happen sooner or later." She was still wondering why being with Cabot was making her so contemplative. Patrice looked over, seeing Alex's mind was wandering. Before she knew what she was doing, her hand reached out and touched Alex's arm, "I admire you, you know. I can't even imagine what it must have taken to come back to all of this. Or what's more, what it must have taken out of you to leave in the first place."

Alex stopped at the touch. She looked down for a moment but only for a moment, looking up again as she pushed a strand of her hair behind her ear. "I didn't really have a choice...about leaving," she said as matter of factly as she could manage. "But coming back was...more difficult than I would have liked to admit."

Patrice immediately wished she could take the words back; she couldn't believe she had been that forward with Alex. She knew being a defense lawyer did nothing to improve her social graces—it made her always want to learn people's motivations, the reasons for their character. However, it often led to moments like this. "I'm sorry," she stammered, "that was probably out of line. I just, I honestly don't know what made me think I had the right to ask that." She looked down, pretending to be immediately fascinated by the pavement.

"Actually..." Alex sighed and gave a self-deprecating laugh. "It's refreshing. I've been avoiding it for a long time, and everyone else does his or her best to dance around it. It's nice to meet someone who will just..." she shrugged, "talk." And Alex meant that. She hadn't realized it until then, but it was true. She had been silent even with Liz, and the older woman had honored that. But this…this was easier.

A wave of relief washed over the blonde as Alex spoke, and she flashed her a crooked smile, "Well, if there's one thing I can manage, it's talking. In fact, I get paid quite a bit per hour to do just that. However," she paused and smiled more genuinely at Alex, "For you, I'll even do it pro bono."

At this, Alex couldn't help but laugh. "Because I haven't heard that one before," she teased lightly. She hadn't, however, heard it from someone quite so compelling.

They paused as Persia stopped to take interest in a squirrel a few feet away, Patrice shrugged, responding with mock surprise, "you can't expect me to be fluent in legal reasoning _and_ humor." They started to walk again and she added more seriously, "But really though, I know we've really just met, but I can be a good listener as well as just run my mouth."

Alex chuckled. "Thank you...I appreciate that." Alex scratched Porcelain's head as the dog moved close to her side. "So, is that what they teach you on the West Coast...get close to the opposition through charm and wit?" She smirked with knowing.

She smirked in return. "Teach us? Don't you know everyone just majors in surfing with a minor in sand sculpture?"

"Well, I didn't want to presume," Alex quipped, eyes sweeping up and down Patrice's body. She could definitely imagine her on a surfboard, as much as Alex would imagine something like that.

Patrice nodded. "I never presume anything anymore. What about you? You strike me as a New England girl, I sense the Protestant work ethic ingrained in you from here."

"Shockingly, I was raised in Baltimore," she said, pursing her lips in mock dismay.

Patrice raised an eyebrow, "Well there you have it: never presume."

Alex smiled. "But you're at least right about the work ethic—my mother—...though, I suppose you wouldn't know it from my suggesting a stroll on a Tuesday evening." She smiled, stopping as the sunset over the water caught her eye. "It's beautiful..."

"I think," Patrice said, pausing to look at the scene along with the other woman before continuing to speak, "I think we all need a breather now and then for a little bit of perspective." She instinctively moved a little closer to Alex, glancing at her quietly, before turning back to gaze at the sun's disappearance over the water. She wondered to herself for a moment how many of these moments she'd forgone over the last few years out of blind ambition.

There was something so comfortable about the moment--so comfortable that Alex let out a contented sigh. "You're absolutely right." She pushed her hair back again, her hand brushing Patrice's almost accidentally as she dropped it.

Patrice's stomach quickened slightly at the touch; it was brief, but something in the contact made her skin tingle. She forced herself to look ahead, afraid she would do something she would later regret if she let herself look at Alex at this moment. Her instinct was to fill the moment with some witty comment, but she bit her tongue, afraid to break the other woman's reverie.

"There's a little wine bar a few blocks from here...they don't mind the dogs." It was a quiet place...the perfect atmosphere for Alex's mood, for prolonging this moment. But she didn't think past supposing that a mere whim made her suggest it.

Patrice turned to smile at Alex as she nodded slowly, "That sounds perfect. Besides, you did promise to show me around the city. Seems like the next logical step, don't you think?"

"Absolutely." There was something both brilliant and enticing about that smile, and Alex could not help but meet it with one of her own as her steps directed them away from the park.

Patrice followed Alex out of the park willingly, wondering why this was seemingly so comfortable. She had never had a hard time meeting new people; she was too outgoing for that, but getting to know them more than superficially was harder for her. As they arrived at the establishment and took a seat at a table outside she had to admit that Alex's taste was impeccable for the pleasant evening. The hostess handed them the wine list and took her leave, leaving the women alone again. Patrice glanced over the pages and looked up at Alex, "This is lovely, and I never would think to come here on my own."

"That's the beauty of it, I think," Alex replied easily. The dogs settled down at her feet, and she plucked the list from Patrice's hands. "Don't even bother with that," she said, her voice almost playful. A waiter appeared soon after with a bottle, as if he knew precisely what Alex would want. He poured glasses for both of them and left without a word. "Do you trust me?" she asked, taking up her glass. It was a lot to ask--trust--but Alex felt at ease with no creeping suspicions.

Patrice was quietly impressed with the woman sitting across from her; she had to look away from those vibrant blue eyes before she trusted herself to pick up the glass without dropping it. She smiled broadly at her companion, nodding at the glass, "With this? I just think I might." She raised it in a slight toast, "To good company and stopping to watch a sunset now and then."

"Here, here." Alex raised her glass to meet Patrice's briefly. "This is..." she swirled the wine and breathed in its scent before tasting, "a Barolo... Mm...and God it's good." She loved wine, and she loved beautiful women. But the combination made Alex feel more alive than she had in a long time.

Patrice took a sip; Alex obviously had good taste, not that she would have imagined otherwise. It was like silk, and she could feel the last bits of tension melting away as she took another slow sip. She set the glass back down, twisting the stem slowly between her fingers. Her smile was taking up permanent residence on her features as the night progressed.

"I was right to trust you," she answered warmly.

"You have good taste." Alex smirked as she crossed her legs and leaned forward. She liked Patrice's warmth; it was such a difference from her court presence.

Patrice felt her skin flush slightly, though whether it was from Alex's proximity, or the wine she couldn't be sure. "Thank you," was all she could manage in response. She could feel herself rapidly falling under whatever spell it was the blond seemed to be casting, and she struggled for some sense of equilibrium. Naturally, small talk was her first line of defense. "So tell me, how did you end up in the City then?"

Alex leaned back and took a long sip of the wine, appreciating its boldness. "My mother." She chuckled. It was so easy to talk to Patrice. "Her father was born and raised here, and he married a Bryn Mawr girl and ended up raising Bryn Mawr girls at her insistence. But if you want to know the truth," she leaned forward conspiratorially, "I didn't get into George Washington."

Patrice grinned at her over her glass as she took another slow sip, answering in like tones, "Your secret's safe with me." She set the glass back down, "I wish sometimes I'd gotten out and saw more of the country early on…moving here was a bit of a shock I'll admit."

"So, you've always been on the West Coast?" she asked, genuinely interested.

"Well, I consider myself a California girl, though I was actually born in Colorado. We moved when I was too young to remember it though. I grew up outside of Irvine, and when it came time to look at colleges, everyone just told me that with such good ones close by, I was crazy to look elsewhere."

Alex chuckled and refilled both of their glasses. "And here you are...gracing Manhattan with your presence." And it was entirely welcomed at this point.

Watching Alex pour, Patrice admired her effortless grace, even when doing something as subtle as pouring a glass of wine. She shrugged, "At times I feel like I'm just trying to keep my head above water actually. The City is huge, the buildings are tall, and I don't think I'll ever get used to the winters. However, I can see why some people wouldn't consider living anyplace else." Her mind was feeling a bit soft around the edges as she took a sip of her second glass, mildly noting that she hadn't had time for dinner before meeting Alex.

"Mm...I'll take the winters here to Wisconsin any day," she said, smiling over her glass.

Alex's fingers went to her shoulder, feeling the scar through her shirt even though she couldn't really feel it. And she didn't even realize she was doing it.

Patrice set the glass down and brushed back a stray lock of her hair thoughtfully, nodding at Alex in understanding, though the significance of her companion's actions were lost on her. "How long were you.... away for?" This time she felt Alex had opened the door to the question.

"Just a year," she replied. Alex had been watching Patrice's hand, and now her eye was caught by the way the lights played in Patrice's golden hair. "But it seems like longer."

"I don't doubt that, but I won't patronize you and say I understand what it was like. Quite honestly, I can't imagine. I'm around some pretty unsavory characters on a daily basis as you're well aware, and I won't lie and say it hasn't crossed my mind that several of them might hold a grudge." She looked down and laughed quietly as Persia took that moment to stretch out under the table, lying across her feet.

"I hope it's not something you can ever say you do, to be honest," she replied. "You could come to the light side, you know." Alex smirked as she fingered the rim of her glass.

She leaned back, taking her glass with her, and chuckled a bit, "but then who would keep your office on its toes? The system demands a zealous defense of the accused, as much as a strong prosecution. I like to think it takes both to keep the people safe." She qualified the statement, "Or at least as safe as human nature will allow."

"Fair enough." Alex smirked and uncrossed and recrossed her legs, stretching them as Porcelain shifted under her. "And well said." Alex raised her glass in a mock toast. "I would hate to upset the system."

Patrice answered Alex's toast, raising her glass silently and smiling at her. She inhaled slightly as she felt something brush her leg and was fairly sure it wasn't Persia this time.  
Alex shivered at the touch. She hadn't meant to be so blatant, but there was something nice about the subtle thickness that was hanging between them. She was happy to continue to languish in it for a while. "How do you feel about chocolate mousse?"

She smirked, quite pleasantly surprised at how well the night had gone; Patrice couldn't remember the last time she enjoyed herself so much on a Tuesday. What tension had been between them earlier in the day had been washed away with the wine and she felt pleasantly relaxed. "Oh, I'm for it…as a concept and for dessert."

"Good..." Alex smirked. "Because it's amazing here, and it means you can't run off after this last glass of wine." She caught the waiter's eye as he topped their glasses off.

"Run off? Wouldn't dream of it, I can't think of anywhere I'd rather be right now." She realized how corny that last line had sounded once it escaped her lips, but made no attempt to cover it, picking up her glass and took a sip instead. Alex was getting to her, or the wine, or both. One thing at least was clear, she didn't care in the slightest.

And neither did Alex. She let the line slip without comment and ordered the mousse--one plate, two spoons. Then she settled back in her chair, looking Patrice over without even trying to hide it.

Patrice blushed, well aware she was being appraised, and enjoying the thrill. She had no delusions about her appeal—years of blatant leering by most of her male coworkers had made her well aware, though she had largely learned to block it out. The thought echoed in her mind that she had definitely let the wine go to her head, however, and that she should try to maintain some type of control. The last time she had felt this good the night had ended less than memorably. After many vodka tonics she had spent close to an hour in the corner of a bar enthusiastically telling some poor person all about the fascinating intricacies of the difference between a conspiracy and mere solicitation. Somehow though, she had a feeling tonight would end up much better.

"You suit this place," Alex said finally. Maybe the wine was going to her head too, but she was enjoying herself and enjoying herself without looking over her shoulder. It had been so long since that had happened.

Patrice looked around, thinking of an appropriate answer, "I'm going to take that as a compliment." She liked that Alex would associate her with someplace she'd choose to spend an evening out.

"Good." Alex smiled and the mousse arrived, breaking the moment but not the mood. "Now this," she said, gracefully taking a spoonful and holding it out for Patrice, "is the most delicious thing you will ever taste."

She raised an eyebrow, but didn't hesitate as she leaned toward Alex took the offered taste from the spoon. She sat back and grinned, "That is amazing, you're absolutely right." She picked up her own spoon as Alex took a spoonful for herself. Watching her, however, Patrice could think of one or two things that might taste as good, probably better.

Alex took her own spoonful and licked her lips after tasting the bite. She caught what seemed to be a glimmer in Patrice's eye and smirked. "As usual," Alex purred. She did so very much like to be right.

By the time the dessert had disappeared, the moon had worked its way up from the horizon and hung high enough in the October sky to be seen over the tall buildings that surrounded them. Patrice took a last spoonful, and leaned back in her chair, smiling and quietly rubbing Persia with her toe. "That was wonderful Alex. Really, this whole evening has been. I'd trust you to show me the city anytime."

She smiled as she finished her glass of wine. "There's so much to it...so many little things..." And they had all added up to weight her memory when she had been away. It had almost been unbearable.

 

Patrice nodded across the table, watching the expressions play out across Alex's elegant features. She would have paid good money to know what thoughts were running through the other woman's mind at that moment. "I'm starting to get that impression for sure. I get the sense it's one of those places that you have to find your place in, some small things within the chaos that you can call your own and find comfort in."

"Yes..." Alex focused more intensely on the other woman, "that's exactly it. It's the best way to stay grounded and the best way to fall in love with it." She chuckled. "But now I'm just starting to sound like a ridiculous romantic."

She took her last sip of wine and smirked, "I don't mind; it looks good on you."

"Then you should offer to walk me home," Alex suggested.

 

Patrice felt her mind race a little, glad she wasn't the only one who wasn't yet ready for the night to end. She looked down at the tablecloth slightly to try and hide her sudden grin, glancing back up to meet Alex's eyes, "I'd love to."

For a moment, Alex was afraid that she had been too forward, that Patrice would be utterly put off. But she was happy to see the blonde's lips twitching, and her own curled up into her closed lip smile. She stood, both of the dogs rising with her immediately. "It's not far." It had been a long time since Alex found herself looking forward to not knowing what would come next.

They fell into a comfortable pace side-by-side as they walked down the street, and for a few moments neither spoke, both engrossed in their own thoughts. Patrice, for her part was trying not to think too hard about the course of recent events. She had ruined one too many opportunities by questioning what the ultimate outcome would be.

The doorman nodded to both of the women as the walked in, and they remained silent in the elevator. The dogs shivered with anticipation, ready to get home, to be fed. And Alex unlocked her door and tossed the keys onto the table in the entry as she did every day. "Make yourself at home. I just need to feed these two." The penthouse was pristine--sleek winter white furniture with rich colored accents in pillows and other odd ornaments--as an indication that Alex was so rarely there.

Alex had led her into the building without question, and for some reason Patrice hadn't hesitated. She was still trying to work this out as they reached Alex's door and went inside. She tried not to let her bemusement show as she looked around the immaculate home. The place was spacious and the whole building gave the impression that the residents both could afford the best and had the class not to need to broadcast that fact. However, it was not lost on her that Alex had hit the elevator button for the top floor. She moved through and took a seat on one of the couches, feeling suddenly apprehensive, though of what she couldn't be sure. She moved her eyes over her surroundings and tried to relax as she waited for Alex to join her.

When Alex returned, the dogs were not following her. She slipped off her shoes and tucked one of her legs underneath her as she sat. Now that they were there, Alex wasn't sure how to continue, how to keep the easy warmth between them from fading. It occurred to her that the ease with Patrice might have had something to do with the woman not knowing her before, not being there before. There was something comfortable about that. "The place I lived in when I got back was no bigger than a closet," she said thoughtfully. It wasn't a boast; in fact, it was more of a reflection. It had taken time to come back to life, to get her inheritance, her trust, her things back. But none of that was as important as just...living. And that what she felt like she had been doing that night.

She looked at Alex and was opening her mouth to make a comment about how she had just picked a realtor out of the yellow pages to find where she currently lived when something struck her. She moved a little closer, bringing her arm up to rest behind the other woman. There she paused, meeting Alex's eyes for a moment, trying to read her thoughts.

Alex drew in a breath, blinking but holding Patrice's gaze. It wasn't very often that she met eyes as intense as her own. "Patrice..." Alex said quietly. But she didn't get beyond that before leaning forward, kissing her softly.

Patrice felt lightheaded as Alex confirmed with her touch what she couldn't with words if she'd had all night to try. She kissed the other woman back, moving closer and gently slipping a hand through her hair like she'd been aching to do since she'd first seen Alex in court. And Alex sighed as she kiss broke, only taking enough time to take in another breath before kissing Patrice again. She liked that this wasn't rushed, that it was easy, and it felt good to have fingers in her hair, fingers that had never felt it before.

She slid her hands down Alex's back, tracing invisible patterns across it, feeling the other woman relax slightly, their bodies moving closer together as they kissed. After a few long moments, she released the blonde's lips, moving to rest their foreheads against one another, catching their breath. A sly smile grew across her features and she couldn't suppress a slight chuckle. "I.....I'm....wow, do you always kiss like that on the first night?"

"Mm." Alex ran her thumb over Patrice's cheek as she cupped it. She could feel her own cheeks coloring slightly. "It's been a long time since I've had a first night," she admitted.

"That's a very lawyerly answer of you Miss Cabot." Alex's proximity was beginning to get to her, and she was reaching the point where she either needed to get up and walk away, or risk making a mistake. At that moment, however, she was wondering if the biggest mistake might be walking away. She leaned in and captured the other woman's lips again, pulling her closer.

They should stop, Alex knew. She had made enough hasty decisions in her life. But instead of pulling away, she wrapped her arms around Patrice, pulling her even closer. Patrice felt Alex respond, her movements more sure, breath quickening slightly, so she leaned back, pulling the Alex down with her, never losing contact with her lips.

"You're making it very hard," Alex said, drawing in breaths as she spoke between kisses, "to find a way to say goodnight." And by the way she adjusted, pressed her body into Patrice's, she was making it very clear that she didn't want to say goodnight.

Patrice kissed back, responding in a similar manner, while reaching a hand under Alex's blouse to feel the soft skin of her back. "I suppose I am," she moved the other hand to push back an errant strand of blond hair, "but I'm not sure I'm entirely sorry about that."

"I don't think you are," Alex purred, arching her back into the touch.

She grinned up at Alex and moved to place a string of kisses along her jaw, culminating as she reached her ear, she whispered, "And I don't think you mind."

The blonde shivered and smiled as she nuzzled Patrice's neck. "No. I don't.," she whispered before working her fingers underneath Patrice's shirt, causing Patrice to arch slightly, allowing Alex to further her pursuits unhindered. Her body quickened at Alex's touch. It had been too long, and she had little control over her responses. She couldn't help a small moan as Alex's hands moved higher.

Alex ran the flat of her hand firmly up Patrice's ribs, kissing at her collarbones where she could get to them as well. Those were sounds that she wanted to keep drawing from the other woman.

Patrice watched Alex's movements, feeling her temperature rise and her head begin to swim. It felt so good to be touched with such purpose, and the sight of Alex moving over her was easily the most erotic thing she had witnessed. It didn't take long for her to reach a state of almost painful arousal. She slid her fingers through Alex's long hair, drawing her up into a deep kiss before firmly grabbing at the hem of her shirt, asking silent permission.

"Mm." Alex moaned into the kiss and shifted, pulling her hands away from Patrice's skin for only a moment so the blonde could get her shirt off. The air against her bare skin was cool, but she could feel Patrice's heat and she wanted more of it.

Patrice discarded Alex's shirt, pulling her back and wrapping her tightly in her arms, shivering at the feeling of Alex's bare skin against her. She kissed her again, and then pushed her back slightly, pausing to look into Alex's vibrant eyes, seeing a mirror of her own need. She smiled and ran her hands up Alex's slender body, brushing lightly over her bra, teasing and enjoying the other woman's expression.

"Tease," Alex hissed as she kissed underneath Patrice's ear and then nipped the lobe. It was all she could do to keep herself from squirming on top of Patrice. She slid her palms underneath Patrice's shirt once again, this time with an even more sure touch.

"Just....maybe," was all she could manage between breaths. She captured the other blonde's lips, then grinned and moved her arms above her in quiet acquiescence, inviting Alex to return the favor.

And Alex did with ease that was matched by an eagerness that she rarely showed so openly. Once she dropped Patrice's shirt onto the floor, she went immediately, pushing her hands underneath her back, to take off her bra. Patrice let out a small sigh of pleasure, her hands still above her. However, as Alex leaned down to kiss her again, she lifted her chin, looking her in the eye, a small smirk growing, "Wait." Before Alex had a chance to respond however she continued, looking pointedly at Alex's bra, "now you."

The blonde arched her delicately sculpted eyebrows. "Well, then." She smirked as she took her time about unhooking the bra, dropping it to the floor before trailing her fingers up Patrice's sides, over her nipples, never staying in the same spot.

She watched Alex intently, biting her lip to keep some slight control. Patrice began to lose it, however, as Alex touched her again, and she felt her hips start to move of their own accord. She ran her hands up the other blonde's back and then down over her chest, stopping to brush her fingers over her perfect breasts, enjoying how they felt under her palms.

"God," Alex sighed, closing her eyes for half a moment. She kissed down Patrice's chest, suddenly driven, wanting to push the other woman, to continue to make her squirm. Her touch was firm as she slid her palm down Patrice's stomach before pushing her fingers underneath the band of her pants.

When Patrice felt Alex's hands move lower, she arched her neck back, "Please..." The word was past her lips before she knew what she was saying. She looked Alex in the eye again, putting silent trust in her intentions.

It was a word that Alex loved to hear in any context, but it sounded especially sweet just then. She wasted no time in undoing Patrice's pants and shifting so she could tug them off. With the flat of her palm against the blonde's panties, she could already feel how hot, how wet she was, and that made Alex moan softly.

She almost came under Alex's simple touch. Her hips rocked forward, seeking more contact. What little self-control Patrice had was lost in that moment and she looked down at Alex, whimpering slightly, surrendering herself to the sensations.

"Let's go to the bedroom," Alex whispered huskily, wanting to prolong the anticipation even more.

It took her a moment to register what Alex had said. She watched the blond move to stand, and she took a moment to run her eyes over her perfect willowy frame before attempting to get up and allowing herself to be led to Alex's bedroom.

Alex took a moment to admire Patrice looking so nearly undone before taking her hand. Her bedroom was as pristine as the rest of the place, but there were little things--jewelry laying out, shoes discarded on the floor--to suggest that it was lived in. She gently pushed Patrice to the bed and climbed on top of her, fingers immediately lifting her panties and pulling them off.

Patrice watched the other blond; it was all she could manage and all she wanted. She groaned in pleasure as she felt Alex rid her of her last bit of clothing.

"Mm," Alex purred, kissing down Patrice's stomach. She could feel, could smell how aroused the other woman was. Alex parted her lips with two slender fingers before pressing them into Patrice, moaning at just how wet she was.

"Alex...." Her voice was heavy with pleasure. She moved her leg between Alex's, bringing her arms up to cross her writs behind the woman's neck, pulling her down to kiss her. She wanted to feel Alex against her, in her, surrounding her. And Alex met the kiss deeply, moaning into Patrice's mouth. Their bodies met, skin burning and sticky with sweat already, and she was pressing into Patrice's leg.

Patrice felt Alex against her, and they moved into a rhythm, their skin pressed flush together. She felt herself begin to tip over the edge, and she moaned, moving to press her lips into Alex's neck, instinctively nipping at the soft skin she found there, leaving a growing red mark in her wake.

With her thumb, Alex began to rub Patrice's clit, creating a hard friction to match what was being done to her neck. She felt like she could come against Patrice's leg, like it would deliciously never end. And Patrice's breath became ragged, quickening, and she arched up, clinging to Alex like her life depended on it. She stole a glance up at the beautiful woman over her, and that was enough, the breath caught in the back of her throat and she shook, feeling the world disappear for a moment.

Alex's eyes had been closed, but when she felt Patrice tightening around her, she opened them, moaning at just how lovely the blonde looked that way. Unable to resist, Alex bent to kiss her deeply, as if she could swallow all of that pleasure and keep it for herself, and Patrice returned the kiss, closing her eyes and feeling her body grow languid under Alex, wrapping her arms around her and pulling her close.

"Still teasing," Alex purred. She was so close as she thrust her hips against Patrice's leg. And she was smiling at the gorgeous woman underneath her

Patrice felt Alex moving against her, and she slipped her hands under the waist of her pants, over her smooth skin, pressing her harder into her. Patrice leaned in and kissed her, rocking them slowly, dragging out the moment, her own body still trembling slightly.

"Oh, God," Alex moaned, arching into the touch. She didn't want to stop, didn't want the moment to end, and she was hanging there, just at the edge.

Patrice loved hearing Alex like that. She smiled, moving a hand quietly around to Alex's front, slipping it under her panties, and down, until her fingertips nearly touched under the blond. She moved them in rhythm, watching Alex above her.

Alex moaned between jagged breaths, finally letting herself go, feeling herself tighten and release in slow waves. She clung to Patrice, nearly digging her nails into the other woman's skin. When Patrice felt Alex shudder, she kissed her neck, moving her lips in a slow trail up to her lips, kissing them gently, bringing her down. When Alex grew quiet she withdrew her hands, wrapping the other woman in her arms, holding her silently.

"Mm," Alex intoned after a comfortable moment of silence between them. She kissed Patrice's neck, nestling her head there afterwards.

She relaxed, sliding her hand through Alex's long hair, enjoying the comfortable weight of the other woman lying across her. After a few long moments she silently rolled Alex off of her and removed what was left of her disheveled clothing, before moving up to lay her head on the pillows. She held a hand out to Alex, "Come here," It wasn't a command, but a request.

Alex resisted the urge to raise her eyebrows. It was nice to feel such a sure touch, to hear the other woman's voice so soft and informal. "Alright," she replied, joining Patrice.

She smiled broadly as Alex moved next to her. She slipped under a blanket and pulled the blonde's long arms around her, running her thumbs over the backs of her hands.

"Mm...you've got a way about you," Alex admitted, catching Patrice's fingers and bringing them to her lips. This wasn't something she would normally be comfortable with, pulling the covers up, staying there just...being close. But it was easy and comfortable with Patrice. And it was nice.

Patrice's breath quickened slightly as Alex's lips touched her hand. She rolled over to face her, resting her lips quietly on her shoulder, feeling herself starting to feel tired but in a peaceful way she knew she hadn't felt in quite some time.

"I want to see you again," Alex murmured against Patrice's hair. She wrapped her arms around her, happy to settle there.

"I'd love that. Tonight was.." she let her voice trail off, lost in her thoughts, but she couldn't adequately describe the night, "It was...just... I'd really love that." She smiled into Alex's skin, not moving her head.

"Me too..." Alex smirked as she heard the dogs coming down the hall. Persia climbed right up onto the bed, not really caring that someone new was there. Porcelain, however, was more cautious.

"Oh..." It took her a moment to register before she relaxed and smiled again. "I guess we have company."

"Mmhm," Alex said sleepily, nuzzling into Patrice's shoulder. "I don't usually do this... There's just something about you." _This_ being curling up afterward, nearly falling asleep in a comfortable haze. But she didn't mind.

Patrice's eyes were closed, and she started to drift, not having the presence of mind left to ask Alex to qualify the statement. She caught the scent of Alex's hair, breathing it deeply before succumbing to sleep just as she registered Alex turning off the light.


	3. Interlude

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Summary: Some office distractions are better than others.
> 
> Disclaimer: Law and Order SVU belongs to Dick Wolf and NBC.
> 
> A/N: We would like to note that this fic, as it progresses, is in no way meant to represent an entirely realistic representation of the BDSM Scene. This is a fictionalized, somewhat Romanticized account, in which many of the intricate details are left between the lines. However, despite the poetic license, we hope the portrayal is thoughtful and enjoyable.

Patrice hadn't been able to focus for most of the day. After getting to work late, she had sifted through the papers on her desk, trying to make some kind of sense of the chaos. By the afternoon she finally gave in and addressed the source of her distraction. She got out Alex's card and dialed the number on the back.

"Cabot," Alex answered without even looking at the screen to see who it might be. There was the sound of typing in the background, as she was finishing up a particularly icy email.

"Oh, hi…" Patrice was taken by surprised for a moment at the promptness with which the call was answered; most attorneys she knew wouldn't pick up their personal calls during the workday. Further, Alex's clipped and professional tone was a far cry from how she had sounded the last time Patrice had heard that voice. "It's Patrice, sorry if I'm bothering you at work. I just, well I wanted to talk to you after I slipped out this morning, I didn't want you to get the wrong impression."

Personal calls and work calls were always a mix for Alex. She couldn't remember the last time one of the SVU detectives actually called her office. But the typing stopped as soon as she heard Patrice's voice. "Patrice, hey..." There was a distinct smile in Alex's voice. "I got the feeling that you didn't want to go to work in yesterday's clothes."

She breathed a quiet sigh of relief at Alex's tone, "That was the impetus for running out, yes. That and I didn't want to wake you so early, I know neither of us got too much sleep last night." She could feel a smile growing as she said the last few words, her mind thinking back to the previous night. Patrice was very glad at this moment that her office door was already shut.

"Mm, you owe me for making me miss my jog," Alex said, her smile growing. She had been distracted as well, and when she was distracted, she could get rather snippy with people.

Patrice's voice faltered for a moment, trying to read Alex's thoughts over the phone and failing. She went for middle ground, "Well then I don't suppose you'd have time to get a drink with me sometime soon?"

"What about tomorrow night?" Alex nearly kicked herself, but the suggestion came out before she could stop it.

Instinctively, Patrice reached for her day planner before letting her hand fall back to the desk. Whatever she might have, at the moment she couldn't imagine it being too important to put off. "That sounds great Alex, any requests on a location?"

Alex leaned back in her seat and stretched her legs. "I think it's your pick."

Her mind raced for a moment, trying to think of a good location, "Whiskey Park? When will you be done with work?" she added with a knowing tone, it was never a matter of being 'done' with work, just rather when you were giving it up for the day, "allegedly, of course?"

The blonde sighed as she considered whether she wanted to set a time at the risk of it being completely ruined by a call from SVU. "Why don't you just text me when you're leaving? I'll wrap it up then."

"Alright then, looking forward to it."

Again, Alex was smiling. Though, she wasn't sure that this would take care of her distraction for the day. "So am I, Patrice."

"See you soon then," Patrice was absently drawing on her legal pad now, her mood lifting as she hung up the phone.

When Alex hung up, she was grinning. The email was half finished on her screen, but she had temporarily forgotten why she was writing in the first place. It would come back, she was sure, but she was happy to just take a moment to anticipate the next evening.


	4. Distraction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Summary: As their second date progresses, Patrice finds herself seeing Alex from a different angle.
> 
> Disclaimer: Law and Order SVU belongs to Dick Wolf and NBC.
> 
> A/N: We would like to note that this fic, as it progresses, is in no way meant to represent an entirely realistic representation of the BDSM Scene. This is a fictionalized, somewhat Romanticized account, in which many of the intricate details are left between the lines. However, despite the poetic license, we hope the portrayal is thoughtful and enjoyable.

When Patrice wrapped up a draft motion for Monday, she was sure it wasn't her best work, but she had been distracted. It was only just after 6—an early night by any means—when she gave up. Patrice reached into her purse for her phone. She looked at the screen for a moment before taking a deep breath and sending Alex a text.

*Hi, I think I'm just about out of here. 6:30ish at the bar?*

Alex would have liked to say she had to dig around in her purse for her phone, but the truth was that she had it on her desk. She could have said it was because of work, that she kept it so close, which would have been true, but it was really just anticipation. *I'll head that way,* she sent back as she stood and wrapped her scarf around her neck.

After a short cab ride later, Patrice walked into the bar. She had been here once before with a few of her coworkers and liked the atmosphere. Adjacent to the park, it had a modern lounge feel, low soft lighting, and the corkboard walls and ceiling melted the voices of the patrons into a low background din, allowing for intimate conversation to be possible. She took a seat at a corner table, ordering vodka when the waitress came over. Patrice watched Alex approach out of the corner of her eye; the blonde was a hard one to miss, regardless of her surroundings. She tried not to turn and stare, looking intently at her glass instead, swirling the ice in the clear liquid.

Alex half smiled as she sauntered over to the table, pursing her lips as she sat. "Hello." The lighting was just enough to highlight the bronze glow of Patrice's skin and hair, as if she had only just come from the West Coast.

As Alex reached the table she finally turned and smiled up at her, trying not to let her excitement show, "Alex, good to see you again. Can I get you a drink?"

She sat, crossing her long legs in what seemed like slow motion, her smile widening. "I'll have a dry martini on the rocks...with a twist." Alex made no pretense of looking Patrice over, but she wasn't lewd about it. It was good to see her again, good to see that she was so real...and that she seemed just as pleased as Alex to be there.

Patrice motioned to the waitress and ordered Alex's drink smoothly, turning back to the blond after, "I'm glad you came tonight, I've.... been thinking about Tuesday..." she let the sentence die, trying to see what reaction it got out of her striking companion. She reflexively took another drink of her vodka to fill the moment.

Alex wished she'd had her drink so she could have covered her twitching lips with taking a sip. "I'm glad you suggested it." She lowered her head, laughing lightly. "We sound like teenagers." When the waiter returned with Alex's drink, she took it gratefully and ran the twist of lime around the rim before dropping it in and taking a sip.

Patrice laughed, glad for the break in the tension. "We really do, don't we. Well, I suppose it's just been a long time since I've had a first date, especially one that ended so well. Honestly, there are so many reasons why I should say we can't do this... whatever 'this' is, but right now, there are more reasons I want to spend time with you." She had no idea where that had come from: she usually was more guarded in her personal life, at least since... she slowly shook her head and took another sip.

"I think," Alex said, running her fingertips around the rim of her glass, "that sounds good."

Watching Alex's fingers quietly for a moment, Patrice remembered how they had felt against her bare skin, her body quickening in response. She slid down along the bench seat, closer to Alex. Breaking her general rule of public displays, she leaned over and quietly kissed the blonde's cheek, blushing and lowering her eyes as she sat back. "It's agreed then."

God, she really did feel like a teenager again. Alex touched her cheek where Patrice's lips had been all too quickly. "You..." she shook her head and chuckled, half bewildered and half almost giddy, "are like a breath of fresh air." It was trite, but nothing was truer for Alex in that moment. She hadn't looked over her shoulder the entire day or the entire time she and Patrice had been in the park, for that matter.

Patrice was smirking at Alex, when the waitress choose that moment to reappear nodding at Patrice's now near empty glass. She handed it back and indicated a refill would be welcome, glancing at Alex to see if she would be joining her for a second round. Alex merely nodded, fully knowing that too many more could lead to trouble. She wasn't sure she minded--though, another night with Patrice was something she wanted to do sober.

"How was your day?" she asked, settling in.

Patrice let out a long breath, her eyes trailed up to the ceiling, trying to recall. "It was the usual I suppose; I potentially will be in trial next week, so I'm trying to work together an opening statement. Had a few hours of deposition on another matter, lunch out of the vending machine…I'm sure you know how it goes." She took a slow sip, "You?"

Alex sighed and finished her drink, welcoming the next. "It looks like I've been thrown right back into appeals. And I've been dealing with paperwork, as usual."

She caught Alex's tone, "And it appears you're none to happy about that. Miss being the first set of eyes to look over a new case? Or is it something else?"

Alex shook her head. "To be honest, it seems like SVU is giving me four fuck ups for every one solid case. I hate to think I'm idealizing, but I don't remember it being that way." And to her credit, she knew the dynamic of SVU had changed quite a bit, even though the people were the same. Alex hadn't begun to look for other options yet, but that didn't mean she wasn't thinking about it. She smiled suddenly, though. "But that is most decidedly not what I wanted to come here and talk about." And while she wasn't sure what she did want to talk about, work was not it.

As she watched Alex's mood shift, Patrice responded with a rare smile of her own, "Well, at least if you're in appeals, I won't have to worry so much about seeing you in court again soon." She blushed a little. "Not that it wasn't a nice view from the defense table, but I think now I might have a hard time focusing on my arguments." After a slight pause, Patrice added, letting her voice drop slightly, "Now, what is it that you did want to talk about?"

Their meeting in court was something Alex hadn't given much thought to since the day they chance met for coffee; things had been less complicated when Liz was only her boss, but the nature of their relationships allowed them both a great level of detachment. Still, it was something Alex liked to avoid for propriety's sake. And for the moment, she was more fixated on how delicious Patrice looked when she was blushing. "Mm, I like making you blush."

Patrice's mouth fell open slightly, she hadn't been aware her body was betraying her so obviously. She struggled for a moment, biting the inside of her cheek, "I....I'm....I...wasn't...that is...." she felt her cheeks flash even redder under Alex's unwavering gaze, she knew trying to deny her present state was a lost cause. She looked up, meeting Alex's eyes and managed to give her a low reply, "Don't say things like that to me in public; I just might embarrass myself." She slid a little closer to the other woman, just to make the point.

Alex couldn't resist licking her lips, almost predatory in the motion. A display like that pulled her instincts, at everything she had been taught in the Scene, but she was also very, very good at restraint. She let her fingertips brush Patrice's thigh lightly once the other woman was close enough. "Don't keep tempting me..." she replied coolly.

Patrice felt a thrill run down her spine, and she couldn't help a small whimper from escaping as Alex touched her. But she managed to lean back casually as the waitress approached and set down their drinks. As she turned to leave, Patrice motioned her back, steadying her voice, "I think we'll be needing the check."

It was so utterly delightful to see the other blonde's calm crack like that. Alex merely picked up her drink and took a long sip, and when she was finished, she returned her now cool fingers to Patrice's thigh. The warm muted atmosphere of the bar was pleasant, but Alex wouldn't argue with getting away. When the waitress returned again, she plucked the tab off of the table and simply left cash before taking Patrice's hand. "Let's go."

She was at a loss for words for the second time that night at Alex's sure and practiced actions; this had to be a record. Patrice didn't hesitate to be led away, though her mind was reeling. She normally wouldn't be so overt in public, but something in Alex's demeanor threw her own rules out the window, surprisingly, along with many of her worries as well.

"You're place or mine?" Alex quipped once they were in the night air. She was hoping her cab karma didn't fail her and ruin the mystique.

Patrice shrugged at Alex, smiling slightly, "Either I suppose, but I don't have dogs waiting for me to come home."

The dogs... Alex couldn't believe she had almost forgotten about them. She smiled easily through and opened the cab door for Patrice. "Mine, then," she said as she slid in next to her.

Not trusting herself to say anything coherent just then, Patrice sat quietly next to Alex. Her mind drifted for a moment, remembering the last time she had been with someone so...captivating. She instinctively moved her hand to the pendant around her neck as she watched the now dark city streets rolling by out the window, but she let it her hand drop and pushed the thoughts away. That moment had passed.

Alex caught the movement out of the corner of her eye and flexed her fingers. She knew the urge--the urge to touch her scar, to feel and remember the thing that had brought about so much pain and so much change. She knew to let Patrice have that moment, uninterrupted.

Her reverie passed and she shook herself, moving a little closer to Alex, wondering just how she had ended up here. Patrice smiled and looked down slightly, "I don't usually just go home with someone so quickly you know, wouldn't want you to get the wrong impression of me."

"Would it surprise you to find that I don't go on many second dates?" Alex asked, coolness covering something solemn.

Patrice looked at her expression more closely, giving an honest reply, "Yes, in fact." She didn't know what else to say to that, so she let it hang. Patrice only knew she could never have refused Alex another night, even if it meant setting herself up for later heartache.

After a moment, Alex laughed. "You're the only one, I think." With Patrice, Alex wanted it, wanted to see her again, to get to know her better...to have her next to her on a morning that didn't bring work. It was all a whirl in her mind as they stepped out of the cab. Alex knew it could be a bad idea, but she was tired of looking over her shoulder.

Patrice felt a small shiver go through her as Alex led her into the building, and she was almost certainly sure it didn't have anything to do with the crisp fall air. Her body anticipated as they rode up in the elevator, and she found she was digging her nails into the palm of her hand to keep control as Alex unlocked the door.

The moment the door opened, Persia barked happily, and Porcelain seemed eager as well until she saw Patrice and backed away. "Why don't you open a bottle of wine while I feed them," Alex suggested, looking up at Patrice as she knelt to pet the dogs. She didn't want to rush things; there was something so lovely about anticipation.

"Gladly, any requests?" She didn't like to go browsing through Alex's selection unguided; she could tell Alex was the type to have something in mind already.

"There's a bottle of prosecco in the fridge," she said, standing. Alex wasn't one to wait for a celebration to have sparkling wine.

Patrice smiled and nodded, leaving Alex to greet the dogs. Reaching the kitchen she took out the bottle, undid the wire covering the top, and covered it with a cloth, working the cork out smoothly with a gentle pop. She considered for a moment, then smiled and took down two flutes from a glass-front cabinet, filling them. Patrice leaned against the counter and waited for Alex, noticing how little the vodka had helped to calm her nerves.

The dogs led the way into the laundry room, and they waited as Alex mixed their food and put it down. She was thankful that they weren't puppies still--Persia into everything and Porcelain wanting her full attention. When she came into the kitchen, she headed directly for the sink to wash her hands, smiling at Patrice as she did so. Alex would have put the prosecco in regular glasses had it just been her, but there was something incredibly charming about Patrice holding a flute.

She handed the glass to Alex, watching as her fingers closed around the stem. Her eyes worked their way up the blonde's body, and she quietly placed her free hand flat on the counter to stay grounded.

"What are we toasting to?" Alex asked as she stepped into Patrice's space. She liked this...keeping the other woman just a bit off balance. But she didn't want to push it.

Patrice took a sharp breath as Alex moved closer, but held her gaze, letting a smile cross her lips as she thought of an appropriate response. She lifted her glass as the mood struck her, "To finding new beginnings in unlikely places, and..." she paused, then added a bit more quietly, "to having the good luck to recognize them."

"Well said." Alex took a sip, smiling over the flute. Then she put it on the counter, an excuse to put her hands there, arms around Patrice. "You've got a way with words, Ms. LaRue."

Patrice was on the verge of giving a witty response to that, but Alex's sudden proximity, combined with the tone of the night made her hold back. Instead she uttered a simple "Thank you," and leaned forward, bringing their lips together, kissing her slowly.

It felt so damned good to be kissed that way that Alex nearly melted into Patrice. She brought her hands up, into the other woman's hair and she pressed her body forward. "Mm."

Patrice managed to put her glass down on the counter, and slid her arms around Alex's slender waist, pulling her in closer, leaning back on the counter, allowing Alex to hold her there. She groaned slightly and deepened the kiss, her arms moving slowly along Alex's back.

"There are very..." Alex said, between kisses, breath hot against Patrice's skin, "few people...I'd waste a good bottle of wine for." And she wasn't sure why Patrice was on that short list. But thinking about it too carefully was too daunting a task for that moment.

The woman knew she was quickly losing her mental composure as Alex's lips drove her to distraction. She managed a few breathless words, "Well....I'm.... flattered....then." Patrice was amazed at how quickly Alex could make her knees want to buckle. She moved her hands from around the blond and back to the edge of the counter, never losing their contact, feeling their pace quicken, lips roaming.

"Mm." Alex was pulling up Patrice's skirt slowly as she kissed her lips, her jaw, her neck. Her talent for self-denial was failing her, but she didn't give a damn. And Patrice's knuckles were white as they gripped the granite, her body responding to Alex's obvious intentions. She managed to lean her hips forward a few inches, allowing the blonde to complete her task, suddenly glad she hadn't second guessed her choice of lingerie, though it had seemed a little presumptuous when she had put it on this morning.

Alex was very deliberately marking the skin just above one of Patrice's collarbones. She could feel the quality of the lingerie, but she pushed it aside, fingers going to Patrice's clit immediately. She could look later...they had all night...all night stretched before them, and Alex wanted to see Patrice come again.

Patrice barely registered Alex's mouth leaving its mark as she let out a slow hiss of pleasure in response. Her mind hadn't been totally prepared for Alex's fast movements, though her body was more than ready. Her neck arched back, eyes staring at the ceiling, unfocused, as she was just barely staying on her feet.

Breath coming in jagged bursts, Alex's heart was pounding. She pressed two fingers into Patrice and moaned at how wet, how warm the other woman was. The memory of their skin touching pressed in, and Alex pumped her fingers hard. Patrice started to shake under Alex's firm touch, breathing harder, then not at all as the world spun and she released her grip on the counter, leaning into Alex, her face buried in her long hair. As she came down, her legs were no longer able to hold her and she sank onto her knees. She was still panting, trembling slightly. Patrice moaned slowly and pressed her forehead lightly against Alex's thigh, letting her pulse slow before she was able to think again.

A low, pleased moan escaped Alex's lips as her fingers went to Patrice's hair, stroking it lightly. Feeling Patrice come was nothing next to seeing her that way, but Alex had to steady herself, had to come back to the moment. She drew in a long breath. "Patrice..." Alex tilted her chin up and when their eyes met, it was all she could do not to sink to her knees as well.

A calm haze settled over her as she felt Alex's hands in her hair, and Patrice let out a slow, trembling breath. She looked up at Alex, getting lost in her vibrant blue eyes, now bright with desire and a hint of excitement. When she said her name she thought she would come again, a simple, "Yes Alex," was all she could manage.

_That_... That was all Alex needed to hear. She didn't question whether Patrice had done it before or whether it was simply a natural reaction, but her eyes clouded with so much desire. She took Patrice's elbows and lifted her before kissing her firmly, pressing her back into the counter again. "Bed," she nearly growled.

Patrice stood quietly and followed Alex's instructions willingly. God, it had been so long since she had found someone she wanted in this way. It had been years since Donna, since she had been able to let go. There was something beautiful about the simplicity, the clear distinctions between correct and incorrect behavior, and the rules that were unwavering, so much unlike the world she lived and worked in. She quietly followed behind the blond to the bedroom, her shoulders back, and her head down.

Alex shut the door behind Patrice and used the moment to take a deep breath. This almost felt like her first time; she enjoyed it, every moment with Liz, but this was different, as each encounter was. And there was a different thrill here. She turned back to Patrice, looking her over, licking her lips. "You're beautiful," she said, running her hands down Patrice's sides appraisingly. Alex didn't want to push it. She wanted this to be touches and thoughts and words.

Though it was fleeting, the contact had new meaning from just moments before, and Patrice shivered at the touch. Patrice rarely allowed someone to take this role with her, it was rare that she had met someone who she both felt she could trust and whom she respected enough to have it feel right. She took a quietly shuddering breath, cleared her mind and kept her gaze lowered, waiting for direction.

"You've done this before," Alex said, stepping back to admire how statuesque Patrice looked. She knew she had to take a step back, to be rational for a moment. Just jumping in would be reckless.

Patrice continued to stare at the carpet as she replied, "Yes." She didn't elaborate; the question didn't require it.

The blonde nodded and considered for a moment. She knew how this changed the nature of things, but she wanted to make sure that Patrice knew she was open to other possibilities. Their first night together had been overwhelmingly good, and Alex saw no reason to stop that. "You should know that I've done this for long time," she said, knowing how important it was to be up front.

Patrice looked down, feeling her stomach quicken at Alex's sure tone, "I won't pretend to have a wealth of experience, but my first and only mentor had a," she paused, searching for an adequate phrase, "lasting effect."

Alex took Patrice's chin firmly but carefully and lifted it until their eyes met. "We'll just enjoy ourselves..." She had little desire to mark Patrice's skin or to see her tears, but Alex could not deny the thrill she felt in seeing her submit so quickly, so intuitively.

There was that look that Patrice hadn't seen in years, and she felt her heart rate increase. It was the same feeling she had when she won her first case and turned to find Donna in the gallery, nodding in quiet approval. She managed a small smile and nod at Alex and returned her eyes back to the floor, waiting.

"Undress me," Alex said with quiet assurance as she stepped back. She was aching just to take Patrice, to push her back onto the bed and to fuck her again, just like in the kitchen, but she knew that prolonging that need would end beautifully for them both. And seeing that look on Patrice's face only made her want it more.

Patrice's hands shook slightly as she moved and gently unbuttoned Alex's shirt, removing it and placing it on the edge of the bed. She then slid her pants down, kneeling smoothly to allow her to step out of them. Ash she stood again, Patrice hazarded a glance up at Alex as her hands reached for the clasp of her bra, looking to see if Alex was pleased at her actions. It had been years, and she was slightly unsure of herself.

Alex thought she could feel an unconscious surety in Patrice's movements; the muscle memory was there, even if there was a bit of hesitation, of timidity, but it was all Alex could do not to moan at seeing her, at feeling her light touches. It was as if this was the first time she had topped, and she let her fingers drift through Patrice's hair for only a moment as something of a reward.

Patrice sighed at Alex's assurances, her mind settling more comfortably into the ritual and pageantry of it. Alex's bra joined the rest of her clothes on the bed, and she had to bite her lip to keep herself from leaning forward to touch her smooth skin. She knelt again to slide down Alex's panties, setting them carefully with the other clothes, and she remained there, moving her slightly shaking hands instinctively behind her back, keeping her eyes down.

Breath jagged, Alex drew it in and let it out, and it punctuated the silence that settled between them. Seeing Patrice there, kneeling, even though fully clothed, push Alex almost to irrationality. She pursed her lips before licking them. "Now yours," she said, prolonging things even more.

This time Patrice couldn't help a small moan of pleasure from escaping, but she choked it back. She slowly slid her shirt off over her shoulders and folded it, laying it on the floor, following with her bra. She took a breath and stood gracefully, remembering how many times Donna had made her practice the simple act of standing up while still remaining elegant. She reached back and undid the zip at the back of her skirt, letting it fall. The air was cool on her skin, and she felt goosebumps rise as she removed the last few pieces of fabric and lace, dropping them onto the carpet. Patrice now couldn't help a slight shiver from washing over her as she stood for Alex to appraise.

Alex quite appreciated both the show and Patrice's choice in undergarments. She wondered just how involved whoever trained Patrice had been, but that wasn't important just then. She walked around Patrice, eyes covering every inch of her body, loving doing so. And when she stepped in front of her again, Alex tweaked her nipples lightly.

Patrice's breath caught sharply at Alex's touch. She clenched her thighs together slightly, her arousal building quickly. Patrice tried to keep control, but her skills were rusty, and she couldn't help saying Alex's name under her breath.

The blonde stepped back at the faint, faint sound of her name and arched one of her neat eyebrows. "Yes, Patrice."

Mentally kicking herself, Patrice cringed at her lack of control. She dug her fingernails into her palms to keep from melting onto the floor and begging Alex to fuck her. "Nothing, I'm sorry Alex," she managed to get out, biting her tongue before she said more.

"I'm sure you are," Alex replied as she tweaked one of Patrice's nipples much harder. She took a moment to watch the blonde's skin pink, and then she climbed onto the bed and situated herself elegantly on the pillows. "I want to come," Alex said simply.

The blonde's eyes watched Alex move to the bed, not prepared for the effect those words had on her. Patrice had to pause to collect herself. She took a breath, and slipped onto the bed, kneeling in front of Alex.

Alex merely nodded, almost regally, to signal Patrice to go ahead as she pleased. Though, everything about her manner suggested that she would be scrutinizing every moment. Her control was something Alex prided herself on, almost the extent of the haughtiness for which she was known elsewhere. But seeing Patrice kneeling there, she had to suppress a soft moan.

Patrice didn't need any more encouragement than that. She leaned down and kissed lightly over Alex's stomach, whimpering slightly as she tasted her skin. The blonde's hands roamed instinctively, reaching down Alex's legs, tracing back up, pausing behind her knees before moving higher.

She drew in a breath, feeling like she couldn't get any wetter, any needier. But Alex forced herself to be still and cool under Patrice's touch. Patrice moved her lips higher to take one of Alex's nipples in her mouth, gently sucking and nipping, listening for a response. Though the other woman was in control of her mind, her body was not so easily controlled and Patrice could read the minute shudders and tensions building under her touch. After treating Alex's other breast in similar fashion, she slid lower again, bringing her hands up the back of Alex's slender thighs, methodically pacing herself so they would meet in the middle.

In spite of herself, Alex arched into the touches. Patrice was reading her well, and that was something she greatly appreciated and would reward if she was completely satisfied.

Patrice settled herself lower, trying not to moan as she smelled Alex's arousal. She gently but firmly slipped two fingers into Alex, moving them in a steady rhythm as she leaned in to brush her clit with her tongue, tasting her for the first time.

"Good," Alex said, forcing her voice to be calm, impassive. She slipped her hand into Patrice's hair, firmly wrapping strands around her fingers.

At that she did allow a quiet groan to escape, and continued with more firm touches, curling her fingers forward, and took Alex's clit into her mouth, sucking and nibbling, her eyes closed, enjoying the feel of Alex's pleasure building.

Alex couldn't stop the jagged breaths or the low moans, especially at the touch of Patrice's tongue and teeth. She gripped the blonde's hair tightly as she neared her climax too quickly. And at the sensation of Alex's hand in her hair, she registered she was pushing the limits of her role, and she slowed her actions, dragging out the moments. She resumed licking Alex, dragging her tongue over the sensitive flesh in time with her fingers, bringing the blond just close to the edge, but not over, waiting for Alex to chose when she was ready.

Excellent. It was absolutely excellent the way she was responding. Alex had never had a bottom so naturally attuned to her body. She loosened her grip on Patrice's hair and stroked it, luxuriating in touching her that way and the way that she was being touched.

Patrice's mind relaxed into the moment, melting under Alex's touch, taking confidence from it. She reached her free hand up to rest against the other woman's flat stomach, starting to lightly move her fingers across it. She continued her actions, changing the pace, the pressure, feeling for Alex's direction. Alex didn't want tow wait anymore, so she finally gave into her impatience, and as a reward, her orgasm came in long, slow waves. She took in sharp breaths as she tightened and released around Patrice's fingers, and finally, she closed her eyes.

And Patrice let out a low moan, thinking she would come just by feeling Alex's let herself go. She gently slowed her actions as Alex relaxed, removing her fingers, and shifted to rest her head on Alex's stomach, and she felt her breath sync with the other blonde's as she enjoyed the quiet closeness of the moment.

The silence, punctuated by their breaths, was something Alex was happy to prolong. She liked these moments, and she was drawn to the fact that they could so easily share them together. There was something comforting about that. "Patrice..." Alex's voice was softer now.

She was brought back to reality by Alex's voice. Patrice moved slightly, turning so she could meet Alex's gaze, while keeping in contact with her smooth skin, she replied in like tones, "Yes Alex?"

"Thank you..." Alex touched her cheek gently before pulling her close, into a soft kiss.

Patrice kissed her back, melting at the reward. She didn't answer, but poured what she didn't speak into the kiss.

When Alex pulled away, she didn't immediately open her eyes. So much for trying to go slow. But the complicated nature of all of this appealed to her; she couldn't help herself, and after feeling closed off for so long, she didn't want to.

Patrice leaned back respectfully, but stayed close, her arms placed on either side of the blond, elbows straight. She watched Alex's expressions, her mind reeling from the unexpected intensity of the night, wondering with pleasant apprehension where Alex would lead her next. She was learning just how different these experiences could be, and wondering a few things about herself as she realized just how much she was enjoying the mystery.

Alex stroked Patrice's hair, letting the thick, comfortable silence continue between them for a while. "I want to see you touch yourself," she said finally, the desire coming up suddenly and almost overwhelming her.

Patrice paused, her mind fighting with her as she tried to shut down what was left of her inhibitions. After a moment, she let out a shuddering breath and rocked back from Alex, kneeling in front of her again. She halted unused to putting on such a display, but she wanted to please Alex. She bit her lip and closed her eyes, siding a hand over her breast, and the other lower.

Alex watched, blue eyes intent on Patrice's body. It wasn't something she would normally ask, wasn't something she would normally want, but something about the fleeting though as she was nearly half asleep seized her. She wanted it, and she wanted it then. She had seen the blonde's displays in the courtroom, but she wanted to see this, to see something more real.

She watched as Patrice kept her eyes closed as her fingers slipped between her legs, finding a slow cadence, her hips slowly began to rock in time. Patrice arranged her mind, imagining Alex touching her. She arched her back slightly, and her lips opened, a small moan slipping out.

"That's it," Alex breathed, enjoying every moment of seeing her so open. Patrice whimpered a little at the encouragement, moving faster, closer. Her breathing grew rough, and she felt a slight sheen of sweat cover her body as she shuddered, nearing the edge.

"You're beautiful," Alex whispered as she touched Patrice's cheek, running her fingers down and over her lips. She was usually very stingy with her praise. But not tonight.

That was enough, and Patrice tried to say something in response but no words came out as her body stiffened and her breath caught. Patrice couldn't help but sag forward into Alex, the last waves of pleasure shaking her. She forgot her role for a moment, burying her face in Alex's neck. Before she could understand what was happening, a quiet sob left her, and she felt her eyes sting with tears. Patrice was taken by surprise, and slightly ashamed at her loss of control. She leaned back abruptly, looking down at the now-wrinkled bedspread.

Alex had caught her, but she let go, against her instincts, when Patrice pulled away. Her brow knitted in concern as she took Patrice's shoulders. "It's alright," she whispered.

The intensity was fading, and she relaxed again, eyes moving back up Alex's body to meet her eyes. "I'm sorry, I just..I... you're so different, I want to..." her voice trailed off. She was still surprised at how much of an effect being with Alex had on her. The mix of closeness and control was overwhelming.

The night was still young compared to the last time they were together, but Alex didn't mind. Against her better judgment and her own personal rules, she pulled Patrice into her arms. "Why don't we just get some sleep?"

Patrice settled in to the embrace, nodding quietly. She didn't trust herself to speak at the moment. She was worried that she hadn't behaved as she knew was expected, but couldn't bring herself to ask, afraid of the answer. It wasn't that she hadn't found herself in tears with Donna many times, but she didn't know Alex well enough, and was ashamed to have let go so quickly. She muttered another quiet, "I'm sorry" into Alex's bare shoulder.

"There's nothing to be sorry for," Alex said softly as she pulled the covers over them with one hand, keeping the other arm tightly around Patrice. This was so uncharacteristic of her, so unlike her to be warm and comforting. But she knew how much comfort she had needed when she was alone in Wisconsin, and she knew how she had been shying away from it ever since she returned. "You were..." Perfect was the word she let dangle in her mind.

Patrice let out a long breath, her mind relaxing as she felt Alex's demeanor soften. She slipped an arm around the blond, finding she was suddenly overtired as her mental barriers came down. In spite of herself she pressed her lips to Alex's neck lingeringly before closing her eyes and feeling her surroundings fade.

Alex lay awake a little while longer, fully prepared to stave off the terror that she knew would accompany this situation. But she drifted to sleep thinking about, still waiting for it, and she found herself comfortably turning into Patrice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Backstory:
> 
> Alex's history with Liz Donnelly is complicated, but she can't escape it.
> 
> [Expectations](http://archiveofourown.org/works/53870)


	5. Interlude

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Summary: Patrice finds herself reluctant to get out of bed.
> 
> Disclaimer: Law and Order SVU belongs to Dick Wolf and NBC.
> 
> A/N: We would like to note that this fic, as it progresses, is in no way meant to represent an entirely realistic representation of the BDSM Scene. This is a fictionalized, somewhat Romanticized account, in which many of the intricate details are left between the lines. However, despite the poetic license, we hope the portrayal is thoughtful and enjoyable.

Patrice woke early, as usual. The morning light was just starting to show through the sheer blinds in Alex's bedroom, and she mused how one didn't need heavy blinds for privacy this height above the street. Patrice didn't move, feeling Alex still asleep, her arms wrapped around Patrice's waist lightly. She thought back to the previous night, and smiled a little, amazed that Alex hadn't run when she had lost control. She felt Alex shift in her sleep, whimpering slightly. She knew she should get up and try to get ready for work, but at the moment she could think of several better ways to spend her time. She felt her body quicken as she thought of one in particular, and slipped from Alex's embrace, leaning to kiss her neck quietly before sliding lower under the blankets, leaving a trail of kisses as she went.

It was an amazing dream, and Alex found herself resisting waking. But as she was pulled into morning, she realized that the sensations only got stronger, and when she opened her eyes, she gasped. "God..."

_Perfect_, Patrice thought as she felt Alex wake. She took her time, starting slow, and building as Alex became more aware. She ran her hands over her thighs in firm strokes, wanting to make Alex come before she got her senses together fully.

It came in a slow, long building wave, and Alex moaned unabashedly, sleepily as her body tightened and released. She squirmed underneath the touches until she was still again, dazed with both pleasure and sleep. Patrice reveled in the noises Alex made, and she smiled against her skin as she moved back up the blonde's body again, pulling her in and holding her tightly.

"Good morning Alex," she whispered lightly in her ear.

"Mmhm, very good," Alex murmured, nuzzling Patrice's neck. The skin there was warm and soft, and Alex began to kiss it intently. Patrice smiled and arched her neck back, allowing Alex better access. She reached up and ran a hand through Alex's slightly unruly hair.

"Mm." She was working more intently now, marking Patrice again, her hands clutching at her sides.

This time Patrice had the presence of mind to realize she was going to need a high- necked shirt today if Alex kept this up. However, she was enjoying it too much to try and stop her.

"Good morning," she whispered, pressing her palm between Patrice's legs. It had been so long since she had woken up next to anyone but Liz, and it was incredibly nice.

Patrice moaned quietly and spread her legs slightly, kissing Alex again, this time with more deeply.

Alex returned the kiss readily as her fingers slipped inside of the blonde. She started to thrust slowly, taking her time. The morning was something she rarely luxuriated in, and she was determined to enjoy this fully. Patrice moaned again, longer this time, and started to move with Alex, pressing a leg between the blond's. Alex was still wet, and the contact drove Patrice closer, quickly.

"God," Alex breathed, pressing into Patrice's leg, falling into the rhythm more fully.

In response, she wrapped her arms around Alex pulling her even closer until they moved together, faster, bodies pressed flush together. Patrice closed her eyes and bit the skin of Alex's shoulder as she felt herself clench around her fingers.

Alex moaned loudly, pressing in harder, faster, fucking Patrice through her orgasm. She shuddered again through her own, quick because she was already so tender, so ready. As Patrice came down, she rolled over, pulling Alex close. She closed her eyes and started to fall asleep again, unwilling to admit that there was any other place in the world she had to be.

It was so easy to believe that it was Saturday, but the fact that it wasn't continued to nag at Alex. She kissed underneath Patrice's ear, hands roaming to the blonde's breasts. "We need to get ready for work."

She stirred slowly, feeling her body start to wind up again as Alex touched her. "Mmm... If you keep that up, I won't be letting you out of this bed anytime soon Alex."

"Thats...very," she said between kisses, fingers rolling Patrice's nipples now, "tempting."

"Oh God Alex, really....mmm...I mean...what time is it?" She bit her lip, trying to remember herself.

"Don't know..." She nipped at Patrice's ear as she reached for the clock, glancing at it and groaning. "Shit."

Patrice followed her gaze and groaned, "Oh hell..... and I've got to go home too. There's no way I'm going to try to explain why I'm wearing the same clothes to work today. I can't even pretend I slept in my office with the files, people saw me leave last night."

"Call in sick." It was absurd, but it was hardly the most reckless thing Alex had ever asked for or done with regards to work. She was kissing under Patrice's chin, kissing her neck.

"Oh..Alex..." Patrice was trying to get her body to move, but Alex was making it near to impossible. She spoke between kisses, "I...have...mmn....court....today...some.  
...stuff and things to try... and get the court to .... rule on." She dragged herself up and sat on the edge of the bed, pulling Alex in for one more lingering kiss.

She pulled away reluctantly, knowing that they both had long days ahead. "Mm, call me later?" Alex got out of bed and pulled on a t-shirt, knowing she might as well call in to say she would be late.

Patrice gathered together her clothes from the previous night and put them on, "Of course." Once dressed, she caught Alex by the wrist and pulled her into a kiss, before heading for the door.


	6. Presumption

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Summary: Alex learns that sometimes surprises aren't always appropriate.
> 
> Disclaimer: Law and Order SVU belongs to Dick Wolf and NBC.
> 
> A/N: We would like to note that this fic, as it progresses, is in no way meant to represent an entirely realistic representation of the BDSM Scene. This is a fictionalized, somewhat Romanticized account, in which many of the intricate details are left between the lines. However, despite the poetic license, we hope the portrayal is thoughtful and enjoyable.

It seemed that rushed mornings had become something of a habit for Patrice, but when she caught a moment to stop, two dwell briefly on the trade of frantically buttoning up her blouse and slipping into her shoes for moments saved in Alex's warm arms, she couldn't help but think it fair enough. Somehow that morning, she managed to get herself together in time to prepare briefly for her hearing. She had to forgo her usual walk to work, and was suffering through the day on office coffee, but it was well worth it. She was still trying not to smile as she headed to court.

Patrice arrived at the department as the clerk was opening the door for the session. She glanced over her papers again instinctively, it was a relatively simple matter, a run of the mill suppression hearing and she stood as the judge entered. She was pleasantly surprised as her case was called early, maybe she wouldn't be pulling a late night after all. She stepped up to the defense table, glancing over at the table opposite, wondering why the ADA she had been dealing with wasn't there yet. And it was then that Alex strode in, glasses on and papers in hand.

Patrice dropped her binder on the defense table, her mind not quite fully comprehending just exactly what Alex was doing there. It wasn't until Alex stepped up to the podium and addressed the court that she managed to get a grasp on the situation.

The look on Patrice's face was interesting to say the least. Alex was quite sure that her presence wasn't appreciated, but she had never been very good about ignoring the instinct to stir things up. She probably would have picked it up anyway, as she was feeling particularly generous because of her good mood, but the potential to surprise Patrice was too much of a draw. She didn't mind stepping in for homicide, even if she never wanted to sit in that bureau chief's seat ever again.

Patrice was at a total loss, what was she supposed to do anyway? Calmly tell the court that she needed a continuance because she had been on her knees in front of opposing counsel last night? She realized at that moment that it is not possible to make compelling legal arguments while standing next to someone you might have just woken up two hours ago with your tongue.

Alex wasn't exactly prepared for how flat her own arguments would be. She had appeared in front of Liz a handful of times and easily compartmentalized, but this was different. She found herself stealing glances at Patrice, and though it was relatively short, it seemed to go on forever.

Patrice tried to keep her game face on, and resorted to tried and true defense lines about police trickery, violation of the constitution, and the like. She managed to put on a show, but in the end the judge ordered the issue fully briefed and sent them out. Patrice's instinct was to run back to her office and bury herself in papers till midnight, but she was quietly seething at how calm Alex had seemed, and wanted to get the story on this little 'mishap' from her.

Alex slid her papers into her case and strode out, heading back to her office with a self-satisfied look on her face. She enjoyed playing with people that way, inside the courtroom, on what she considered to be her terms.

Patrice was frantically scrolling through her blackberry, looking for the change of appearance she must have missed. She took a moment, then looked around for Alex in the busy hall but she had already gone. Patrice wasn't ready to give up yet, she was getting more annoyed by the second. She had been prepared for this, and the issue wasn't something she took lightly. She called the office to say things were taking longer than expected, and went to find Alex.

The blonde was sitting behind her desk, manila file folder open in hand as she looked through a new case that had shown up while she was gone. She had already mostly put the appearance out of her mind.

Patrice didn't even bother to ask Alex's secretary if she was free, she marched through the door, letting it slam behind her. Fuming at Alex's quiet demeanor, she stomped over, throwing her briefcase on a chair and leaned on the desk, her hands flat on the mahogany surface, glaring at Alex, "What the hell was that back there?" She didn't wait long for a response before leaning over and yanking the folder out of Alex's hands, snapping it shut and tossing it back on the desk, "Well?"

The display was rather an unexpected one, but Alex couldn't deny its appeal. She simply raised one of her eyebrows, against her better judgment. "I'm sorry counselor, I wasn't aware that I answered to you." _Oh, God, what was she doing?_

So Alex had known all along, that was it, Patrice snapped. Before she knew what she was doing, she had rounded the desk and was standing over Alex, arms crossed. She couldn't keep her voice in check, and she nearly yelled at Alex, "Maybe not to me you don't, but you sure as hell do to the court, not to mention to the bar association, to your office. Yes, even you with your record and your history in this city, have to follow the basic rules of professional conduct." She was seething, nails digging into her arms to keep from doing anything else she might regret.

"I filled in for a colleague," she said calmly, not ready to show just how much she was enjoying this. "There was no one else; it couldn't be helped."

She couldn't believe what she was hearing, "Did you just say that to me Alex? You're going to sit there and tell me there was _no one_ else in this whole office who could have taken a simple suppression hearing?" Damnit, why did Alex have to look at her with those blue eyes? She just continued, trying not to get sidetracked, "What's more, you didn't think to simply send me a message so I knew what was going on?"

"I was focused on other things.:" Alex stood abruptly, which put her more immediately in Patrice's space. And she didn't back away in the least.

Patrice's mouth fell open slightly, whether it was the ongoing line of bull Alex was trying to feed her or her sudden proximity, she couldn't be sure. To try an maintain her presence, she put her hands on her hips, "These other things didn't leave you a moment for common decency then?"

"Mm, something like that," Alex murmured. She gripped one of Patrice's hips firmly and pulled her close before kissing her hard.

Patrice was completely caught off guard; she kissed her back momentarily before realizing what was going on. She tried to step back, but found herself against the edge of Alex's desk, not knowing what to say. And she could only manage to look heatedly at Alex, panting slightly.

To her credit, Alex managed not to smirk. She didn't step back, however; in fact, she put both of her hands on her desk, around Patrice's waist, staring into the other blonde's eyes intently.

She tried to speak coherently, but failed completely. Her mind was screaming at her to get away, but her body wasn't cooperating. In spite of her still boiling anger, she didn't move, she let Alex hold her captive.

"Was there anything else, Patrice?" Alex asked, breath hot on the blonde's ear. She hoped she wasn't pushing it to far, but for the first time, it occurred to her that she might be. Still, she stayed where she was, this time pressing her body into Patrice's.

Patrice was beside herself, she just looked at Alex, her mouth opened and closed a few times. The blond slowly shook her head, and quickly reached out and closed her fingers around the back of Alex's neck, pulling her down, and kissing her thoroughly and deeply.

Alex kissed her back, not bothering to stop herself from moaning into it. She wrapped her arms tightly around the other woman, pulling her as close as possible.

Almost completely lost, Patrice was still fuming over what Alex had pulled in court, but couldn't stop herself from kissing her. She leaned back, sliding onto the edge of the desk, hands tangling in Alex's hair, which was precisely what Alex wanted. Alex didn't miss a beat. She firmly ran a hand up Patrice's thigh, pushing up her skirt. The door wasn't locked, she knew, and she liked to be more careful. But she wanted to push just a little bit more, to make sure that Patrice would show up when they were done for the day.

"God, Alex..." Patrice hissed through clenched teeth as she felt the blonde's hands move higher. Her body had keyed up quickly, the anger and arousal melding together and making her lose her control fast, "Please..."

"Tonight," Alex whispered, nipping at Patrice's ear as her fingers grazed over the blonde's panties. There was nothing Alex wanted more than to simply fuck her right there, and it was all she could do not to push her fingers into Patrice.

"What..." Patrice tried to focus on Alex, not believing what she heard. Her voice's pitch raised in spite of herself, "Alex, but..." she trailed off, realizing that the blonde was going to leave her like that. She glared petulantly back at her, trying to get back in control of the situation, failing miserably under Alex's stare.

"Meet me after work," Alex said, fingers still teasing. She was looking into Patrice's eyes, sincerely hoping that the blonde wouldn't go away so angry that she would refuse.

And she was relieved when Patrice nodded, biting her lip. It was taking all of her self-control not to try and move into Alex's touch. She felt herself slipping back into the night before, and lowered her eyes, giving a simple reply. "Where?"

"My apartment..." Alex's control was waning, and she was pushing Patrice's panties aside as she leaned in to kiss her hard. "God, I want you," she breathed after pulling away.

Patrice's back arched involuntarily, and she couldn't help a strangled moan escaping as Alex broke her contact. She knew she was dismissed, but was having a hard time walking away. Slowly, she slid off the desk and tried to smooth her clothes back into place without looking at Alex.

"Patrice..." Alex said, tone leveling as she stepped back.

Patrice took Alex's meaning and managed to get herself slightly together and picked up her briefcase from the chair, moving toward the door. Reaching it, she turned back, looking up at Alex, "See you tonight then."

Alex took a deep breath, pursing her lips before opening her mouth again. It wasn't easy, and the words felt heavy. "I'm sorry...I should have called."

Patrice was on her way out when that last comment hit her and she spun on her heel, turning to face Alex again. She looked at the blonde curiously for a moment, then seeing she was sincere, she nodded, "I'm sorry I went off on you like that, I just.. I don't like that kind of surprise." She smiled then. "At least I'd have one hell of an issue for appeal, but I have no intention of writing that brief." With that, she turned again, and headed into the hall, letting out a slow breath as she walked away.

Alex chuckled as she sat back in her chair, leaning back to watch Patrice as long as she could. She couldn't say she hadn't enjoyed the response, and she couldn't say she wasn't going to be entirely distracted waiting for the evening.


	7. Surprising

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Summary: Alex and Patrice find that some surprises are actually quite nice.
> 
> Disclaimer: Law and Order SVU belongs to Dick Wolf and NBC.
> 
> A/N: We would like to note that this fic, as it progresses, is in no way meant to represent an entirely realistic representation of the BDSM Scene. This is a fictionalized, somewhat Romanticized account, in which many of the intricate details are left between the lines. However, despite the poetic license, we hope the portrayal is thoughtful and enjoyable.

Patrice nearly ran out of the office at 5, stopping only to check her appearance in the mirror before leaving the building. She had managed to get the paperwork done to brief the court, meaning she had assigned the task to a first year associate, but for the rest of the day, Patrice had pretended to be busy.

She nodded to the doorman on her way into Alex's building, trying to act like she belonged there. She felt herself anticipating as she rode up in the elevator and walked down the hall to Alex's door, knocking and waiting, before knocking again. Alex obviously wasn't home yet, so she took the key from under the doormat and opened the lock, replacing it and going inside to be greeted by the dogs. She then realized she had no idea what to do next. Patrice removed her coat and paced for a while, pretending to look out at the quite impressive view.

If Patrice had no idea, Persia did. Porcelain refrained from growling, but she watched Patrice intently, serving as a reminder that Patrice was out of place. But Persia went to her immediately, waiting for pets.

Patrice smiled a little as Persia approached and leaned down to pet her, still looking out the window, but relaxing slightly. The second Patrice sat down, Persia, who still thought she was a puppy, was climbing into her lap. Laughing a little, Patrice tried to stop her, but before she could, she found herself sitting on the carpet, petting Persia and (almost) forgetting her nerves.

Porcelain was still watching, muscles rigid and eyes trained on Patrice. But Persia was now licking the blonde's face fondly. Patrice managed to stand again and moved to the couch, Persia right behind. Patrice eyed the dog who was looking very pleased with herself at that moment, and wondered aloud at her, "I'm not sure you're allowed up here you know." She shrugged as the dog lay down next to her and petted her quietly.

Persia hadn't a very clear concept of what she was allowed and what she wasn't from one moment to another, but Porcelain did not seem too be upset by the dog on the pristine winter white furniture. It was one thing Alex never tried to break either of them of. But as soon as the dogs heard the turn of Alex's key in the door, they both hurried to greet their mistress.

Patrice turned too, looking at the door, trying to remain impassive, though she felt her body jump slightly.

"Hello, girls," Alex said, petting the dogs in turn before tossing her keys to the table. She walked fully inside and looked impassively at Patrice. "You've made yourself comfortable I see."

She stood quietly, giving Alex a slight smile. "Well, I thought I'd let myself in. Figured you probably got caught up; it seemed silly to wait in the hall." She moved across the room to greet her properly with a kiss on the cheek. "How was the rest of your day?"

There was something so shockingly normal and domestic about the situation that Alex had to pause, faltering for half a beat before speaking. "It was good..." She slipped out of her shoes and headed for the kitchen. "And yours?"

Patrice shrugged behind Alex's back, "I've been more productive I suppose." She came close, wanting to touch Alex again, but waited.

Alex turned into her and smiled as she put her arms around her. It felt too good to just hold Patrice, but she didn't want to question it. "I'm hungry."

She raised an eyebrow at Alex, enjoying the closeness. "Well, what are you in the mood for?"

"Mm..." She cocked her head. "Staying in."

Patrice smiled at her, nodding slightly, "that sounds very good."

"Mmhm." Alex leaned in to kiss her briefly before pulling away and opening a drawer to find the takeout menu organizer. "What do you want?"

Patrice pretended to look over the menus quickly, pretending to choose one, though really she picked at random. Alex's casual attitude wasn't calming her at all.

She had moved around Patrice, put her arms around her from behind. "You should order us something," Alex whispered, breath against her neck.

The skin prickled on the back of her neck. At that moment, food was really the last thing on her mind, but she tried to focus and picked up the phone, ordering Chinese from a menu that definitely wasn't the first one she had casually selected. She could feel Alex behind her, kissing the back of her neck, her hands pushing under the band of Patrice's skirt.

Patrice was sure she had never made a faster take-out phone call in her life. She ordered a few things from each side of the menu, gave the address and hung up, tossing the phone back on the counter. She managed to spin around in Alex's arms to face her. " 25 minutes."

"Mm." Alex was running her hands up Patrice's thighs, picking up where they left off in her office.

Patrice backed willingly against the counter to steady herself. She felt her legs cover with goosebumps and she leaned in to kiss Alex's neck.

"I think we've been here before," Alex whispered, nipping at Patrice's earlobe.

"Mmhm, I think so," she answered, breath starting to rise.

"You're wearing too much..." She was tugging Patrice's panties off, but Alex wanted to have free access to all of her skin.

Patrice nodded and methodically started to unbutton her blouse, trying to get the buttons undone with hurried hands.

"Twenty minutes," Alex said, pushing back to watch.

That comment made her even less able to get the shirt undone in any sort of graceful fashion. Patrice had to look at the floor to manage the task, and she eventually succeeded, dropping it on the floor, then removed her skirt and stepped out of it, leaving on her heels and lingerie, simple black lace and satin.

Alex drew in a sharp breath. The picture was everything she had been waiting for since Patrice stormed into her office that afternoon. She stepped forward, pressing Patrice back into the counter. They were right where they had been in her office, where they had been just the night before as well. And Alex found herself kissing Patrice hard.

Patrice wasn't entirely prepared for Alex's quick movements, and she moaned loudly into the kiss. She kissed back just as forcefully, feeling herself pinned between Alex, and the edge of the granite digging into the small of her back, satisfyingly hard an cool against her skin.

She was kissing Patrice's neck, her collarbones, but after a moment, Alex sank to her knees with cool grace and pressed her tongue between Patrice's lips. She began to nibble at the blonde's clit before pressing her tongue to it.

"Oh God,... Alex," Patrice wasn't prepared at all for that and she felt her legs shake, her hand instinctively reached to touch Alex's hair, before quickly moving it back to the counter, closing her eyes.

At that, Alex took a moment to smile...but only a moment before she began again, working her tongue intently. She put the flat of her hands on Patrice's thighs, rubbing them lightly in rhythm, and felt Patrice arch into touch. Patrice's body began to shake in earnest this time, and she moved in time with Alex's hands, quietly repeating her name as she trembled. That only pushed Alex on. She pressed two of her fingers inside of Patrice and curled them before thrusting again.

"Please, Alex!" She had lost all control now, and glanced down at Alex in front of her quickly, and that was enough, she crashed down from her high, letting out   
slight whimpers of pleasure.

After a moment, Alex pulled away and pulled Patrice down with her. It was so easy to bring the blonde down into her arms. She was trying to calm her own jagged breaths in the process. "Mm..."

Patrice melted into Alex's arms, small shakes still running through her. She pressed her forehead onto the blonde's shoulder and slowed her breath.

"I want to fuck you with a strap-on tonight," Alex said calmly, her eyes closed as she thought of it. She had completely forgotten about the food they ordered, had completely forgotten about anything she had been planning that afternoon.

Patrice tensed at those words, not out of reluctance, but surprise. She took a breath and nodded meekly into Alex's hair, trying to quiet her heart, which had picked up a quickening rhythm again.

"You can tell me if it's not alright," she whispered, stroking Patrice's side.

She didn't answer, but kissed Alex's neck, whispering, "I know." She wasn't reluctant to let Alex take her there, but more scared of herself for being excited.

The sound of the bell ringing pulled Alex from the moment and she groaned. "Shit...the food."

Patrice came back to herself slightly as Alex stood and went to answer the door. She slowly got up and took down a few plates and took them to the table, waiting for Alex to come back.

The blonde returned with two large bags and the dogs, who followed eagerly behind, Persia straining forward to sniff. "I cannot imagine what you got," she said, almost laughing. She hadn't been paying attention and had a feeling Patrice hadn't either.

Patrice eyed the bags of food, wondering herself what she had managed to order. "Me either, so I suppose we'll both be surprised."

Alex began to take out the containers and open them, the scents filling the room, causing Persia to whine. "I should feed the girls..."

Patrice nodded slightly, only then realizing that she was hungry after all. She took a carton of noodles out, and started eating while Alex fed the dogs. She was still reeling slightly from the blonde's earlier comment, so much so that she didn't even think about standing there, eating dinner in her lingerie. It had been a long time since she had seen anyone in a harness, since she had been with a woman that way.

When Alex returned, she sat gracefully and picked up a carton at random. With a plastic fork, rather than chopsticks, she began to eat the chicken that was inside. "Mm...good choice."

"Why thank you," Patrice smiled a little, considering her companion. "You're surprising, you know that?"

The comment didn't register at first, but when it did, Alex looked up, raising her eyebrows in question. "Oh?"

She paused a bit before answering, trying to organize her thoughts, "Yes, it's been a long time since I've been so, captivated, by someone I just met."

Alex slowly put own her fork and the carton. She looked down, pushing strands of her hair behind her ears. "Yeah..." It was an agreement, no matter how self conscious.

Patrice looked back at her, wondering what the other woman was thinking at that moment. She couldn't help herself, and she rose and stepped over to Alex, kissing her lightly.

Alex caught Patrice's hand as she pulled away. "I'm sorry...it's been a long time."

She laced her fingers through Alex's for a moment, letting the comment sink in. "Me too." She hoped she wasn't pushing things as she continued, a little more softly, smiling now. "It's been years." Patrice wondered for a moment before asking, but it was nagging at her mind, "do you always do....well...play with people like we have been?"

Alex drew in a long breath before looking up at Patrice. "I need to know that this will be in complete confidence before I say anything else." She knew Patrice would keep this to herself, but she had to hear it.

The blonde noted Alex's change in tone and sat, nodding, "of course."

"I've..." Alex knitted her fingers together in front of her. This wasn't hard to say, but she could not predict Patrice's reaction…and that was something she didn't like   
having to contend with. "I mentioned that I had known Liz Donnelly for years. I've also subbed for her for a good deal of that time," she said, trying to keep her voice even.

Patrice forced herself to remain impassive, but she was sure her rising color betrayed her. She was feeling a mixture of confusion and excitement at Alex's admission. She couldn't quite imagine Alex in that role after their encounters, but from her brief meeting with Donnelly, there were no surprises on that end. She nodded at the blond sincerely, "I can't say I'm not surprised a bit, but your secret is safe, obviously. Thank you for telling me Alex, really." She leaned back and kissed Alex's hand, looking at her quietly.

"It's complicated, and we had moved on in our ways…" she admitted, keeping her fingers laced with Patrice's, "but I...it was helpful when I came back here. And Liz is a very close friend." She was surprised at how easy it was to simply talk about it, at how much she instinctively trusted the other woman.

She smiled quietly at Alex and sank down to the floor next to her, wanting to be at her level. She reached up and brushed Alex's hair off her shoulder. "I can imagine, everything must have been strange…" She looked for the words, knowing that she could only say what she knew Alex had lived, "the same and yet changed while you were away. We all need some constants now and then."

"Thank you." Alex said, nodding. She let a silence that was not uncomfortable fall between them for a moment before she was ready to speak again. "Have you...no, I can tell you've done this before, but...recently...have you done this recently?"

She shook her head, "No, not since I was an associate on Wiltshire," she allowed herself a moment to trace her thoughts back, "it was a formative time to say the least."

At that, Alex couldn't help but smile. "Whoever it was is good." She leaned in to place soft kiss on Patrice's lips.

Patrice kissed her back, and felt a subtle bit of assurance pass through her. She had been a bit ashamed at how quickly she had fallen apart the first night it happened, how rusty her mental control was, and was glad to hear Alex's approval, subtle though it was. "She was...something else entirely I think."

"The food is getting cold," Alex said after a moment. She stroked Patrice's hair before letting her stand.

She smiled a little and stood, finding some rice, and pouring a bit out onto a plate, along with some chicken. Patrice picked up some chopsticks and took a few bites. "Do you still see Liz... like that?"

"As something else entirely?" Alex asked as she put noodles on a plate

Patrice smiled as her own words were tossed back at her, "Yes, I suppose."

"In a way, I suppose." Alex shrugged. "We had a pretty volatile working relationship at times." Alex shifted, not sure if she was ready to continue, to simply give all of that history to Patrice.

"I can imagine," she let the subject drop, sensing that Alex would tell her more when she was ready. She finished her plate and set it down. "Can I get you a drink?"

"There's a bottle of red on the counter," Alex said, the hint of a smile in her words. She wasn't ready to completely open up, not just yet. But she was happy that she felt like she could open up to Patrice.

When Patrice returned, Alex sat back, done with her food for the moment, and she swirled the wine in her glass. She fully intended to make good on what she told Patrice she would do, but she saw no rush just yet. "I could get used to this," she said quietly, thoughtfully. She meant not eating alone, sharing wine with someone else, waking up next to someone every once in a while. She was used to it with Liz. But she knew she really also meant more

Patrice smiled at Alex over the rim of her glass, calmly considering the whirlwind of the last few weeks. The blond still didn't quite know what to make of it all, and for once she was willing to believe there was no logical conclusion. Life was moving in random jumps for her, actions no longer seemed to lead to their natural consequence. Yet....yet she didn't feel the urge to run like she usually would. She let out a breath, and inclined her gaze. "Me too."

Persia trotted over to the table and put her head on Patrice's thigh, looking up almost innocently. If Patrice didn't know better, she'd say the dog was weighing in with her opinion. Alex chuckled before taking a sip of her wine. Porcelain was nowhere to be seen, but that didn't worry her. She didn't take to anyone; it was no slight on Patrice. "Looks like I have some competition."

Patrice smiled. "Looks like you just might." She stood and started to clear up from dinner, trying to hide it as she slipped Persia a bit of chicken.

"I saw that," Alex said sternly as she stood, moving to help Patrice.

"Sorry, couldn't resist." They finished putting the leftovers in the fridge and Patrice walked back into the living room, retrieving her glass and sitting down with it.

Alex was following close behind, and when she sat down, she curled one of her legs underneath her. She leaned back and smirked at Patrice. "I think I like seeing you lounging in your lingerie."

She raised an eyebrow and turned toward Alex, raising the glass to her lips, taking time to run her tongue along the rim slightly before taking a sip. "Enjoying the view?"

"I think that much is obvious," Alex said. Her cheeks were a little flushed with both the wine and with simple anticipation of what the rest of the night would bring. And she could say for a fact that she quite enjoyed spending the evening with Patrice when she looked like that.

Patrice grinned shamelessly back, and set her now empty glass down. The blond moved quietly and slipped onto Alex's lap, her legs straddling the other woman's.   
She considered for a moment before leaning in and kissing Alex's neck softly, laying down a string of kisses to her shoulder.

"Mm," Alex intoned as she leaned her back and closed her eyes. She let her hands settle on Patrice's hips, content for the moment to let the blonde do as she wished.

Patrice registered the touch on her hips and let her lips work their way back up the other side of Alex's neck, across her cheek, and ending in a long kiss. Her hands slid questioningly down the blonde's front to the buttons of her shirt, causing Alex to squeeze her hips lightly to encourage her.

Patrice slipped her fingers over the fabric of Alex's shirt, trying to make her actions smooth as she undid the buttons. She pushed it aside and leaned down to kiss her way lower, sliding her hips back as she continued. The blond reached around and unhooked Alex's bra, then slid both it and the shirt off. She pressed her palms over Alex's flat stomach, feeling her skin jump a little over the muscle. She was starting to feel her own body respond, and started to move her hips along Alex's legs slowly.

Alex slid her hands up Patrice's sides, up into her hair. Her mouth was half open, jagged breaths coming quickly. "Don't stop," she whispered.

Patrice had no intention of doing so, and at that, slid the rest of the way back and down onto the floor in front of Alex. She reached up and unfastened her pants, hooking her fingers around the waist, waiting for Alex to give her permission, which Alex did in shifting her hips, breath catching, as she moved to let Patrice do as she wished. Her heart was pounding, and she was already so, so wet.

Smoothly, Patrice slid the garment down, taking Alex's panties along with them, laying them on the floor. She took a moment to enjoy Alex's expression, and slipped her fingers around the other woman's ankles, then slid her hands slowly up her long slender legs. Patrice leaned in and kissed her stomach, before slipping down and moving Alex's legs to her shoulders, her movements graceful and practiced, though she was feeling almost dizzy with arousal herself.

"God, Patrice," Alex breathed, setting into the new position. She let her fingers drift to the blonde's hair, wrapping strands around them. She could smell her own arousal.

The blonde loved seeing Alex like that. She looked up at her as she brought a hand up to lightly press between her legs, teasingly, "Yes Alex?"

"Don't tease," she said, trying to manage to be stern and almost succeeding. Need and desire laced her voice as she pressed into Patrice's hand.

Patrice nodded but didn't hurry. She moved closer and replaced her fingers with her lips, kissing her before slowly licking, her mind flashing back to the last time she had tasted Alex, reveling in the memory. After a moment, she increased her pressure, and slid two fingers into the blond, creating a leisurely pace and enjoying Alex's obvious pleasure.

"Mmm," Alex half sighed half moaned. She was thinking of that morning too, of the morning she could return the favor to Patrice. She was thinking about how it was so nice to simply sit back and feel.

Encouraged by Alex's voice, Patrice continued her ministrations, and reached up to caress her breast, teasing the nipple before moving to the other.

She was taking quiet, quick, jagged breaths, enjoying the silence, the feel. She began to stroke Patrice's hair in time with the rhythm Patrice was setting. When Patrice felt Alex moving with her she curled her fingers forward, increasing her pace, her own body responding to Alex's breath, her scent.

"Oh, God yes," she moaned, bucking into the touch. "Fuck yes."

Patrice moved with Alex, licking her in rhythm, pressing her fingers further, wanting to prolong the other woman's pleasure. And Alex was coming slowly, long waves overcoming her as her body tensed and released, shook with pleasure. Finally, she stilled and took a long, deep breath.

Patrice was near to her own release feeling Alex come. She slowed her movements when Alex relaxed. The blonde quietly removed her fingers and moved to kiss the smooth skin of Alex's thigh.

After a moment, she pulled her fingers out of Patrice's hair and slipped her hands under her arms, pulling the other woman into her lap. She kissed Patrice hard, holding her close. Patrice felt a little thrill at that, and she returned the kiss deeply, tangling her hands in Alex's long hair and let a little moan escape her.

Wasting no time, Alex pressed two fingers into Patrice, beginning to pump with controlled quickness. She wanted to make the blonde come before she came down from it herself.

"Oh God." She arched back in Alex's lap, pressing a hand against the back of the couch to steady herself. She was so close already, and moved with Alex, bearing down on her fingers, pressing them deeper.

"Come for me," Alex purred, almost begging.

She shuddered at those words; Alex's voice was so low and erotic. It didn't take long before Patrice came hard, her eyes closing involuntarily, and her breath hitching in the back of her throa.t Alex brought her fingers to her own lips, tasting Patrice there and sighing, holding the blonde close.

"Mm...I like your idea of dessert," she said, chuckling lightly.

She watched Alex's fingers on her lips and moaned a little. Patrice could only manage to nod slightly, languidly draped across Alex, feeling her heartbeat steady.

"There's something about you," Alex whispered, half not realizing she was speaking aloud.

Patrice managed to look up at the other woman questioningly, wondering if she should ask Alex to elaborate. However, she couldn't form the correct response, so pressed her lips to her cheek instead.

"Mm." Alex smiled as she stroked her hair. "Time to move to the bedroom?"

Patrice nodded and slipped off of Alex, helping her to her feet, and pulling her in to kiss her again.

"Keep doing that and we might end up on the floor between here and there," Alex said, pulling her close.

Patrice flashed her a wicked grin and stepped back slightly, "That doesn't sound bad, but maybe another time?"

"I'll take you up on that," she replied, nuzzling against the delicate skin underneath Patrice's ear. She was looking forward to falling asleep next to the blond as much as she was anything else...and that was more than Alex cared to admit.

Patrice felt her skin shiver slightly at Alex's touch and nipped playfully at her neck, then looked at her with a smile, "After you then."

She twined her fingers in Patrice's and pulled her along to the bedroom, throwing "Stay" over her shoulder to the dogs. They would slip in sometime during the night, she knew. But for now, she knew they would behave. "Sleepy?" She asked, turning into Patrice once they were in the room.

Patrice grinned a little, "I think I'm getting some strength back now. But yes, I have the distinct feeling I'll sleep well tonight."

"I'd hate," Alex said, placing little kisses down Patrice's jaw between words, "to...overtax you..."

She moaned a little and slid her hands down Alex's arms, feeling herself getting quickly lost again, "Oh....I.....think I'll survive somehow." She turned her head and captured Alex's lips in a long kiss, only releasing her when breathing became necessary. And it crossed Alex's mind that breathing, in that moment, was such an inconvenience. As soon as she could, she pulled Patrice back into the kiss, wrapping her arms around the blonde to pull her closer.

If breathing was an inconvenience for Alex, so too was standing for Patrice. She turned them and backed slowly toward the bed, laying down when her knees hit the edge, and pulling Alex down with her.

"Mm..." Alex ran a hand down Patrice's side. "I think I made you a promise earlier..."

Patrice felt a sudden rush go through her body, and she smiled up at Alex, and then chewed her lip for a moment. She didn't trust herself to give a coherent answer to that and instead just nodded slowly, keeping her eyes fixed on Alex's.

Alex slid off of Patrice and turned, disappearing into her closet for a moment. She took the dildo and harness out of a chest and made quick work of putting it on. And when she returned, there was something subtly different about the way she carried herself.

Patrice's eyes followed Alex as she left, her body now quietly trembling inside in anticipation. She instinctively drew her legs into her chest, lightly clasping her hands by her ankles. As Alex returned, their eyes locked, and she couldn't stop a small moan escaping her, causing Alex to flush. Alex got off on anticipation, on tiny games of thought and will and silence. Dipping easily, she kissed Patrice firmly but not unkindly.

"Is this alright?" she asked, wanting to make sure before they continued.

Her respiration was steadily increasing, as was her pulse she was sure. Patrice closed her eyes as Alex kissed her, then managed to open them to reply, "Yes."

"Good." She was so glad, so ready. Alex's heart was pounding, but she took her time, carefully taking Patrice's hands, urging her to unfold her body. She raised them above the blonde's head as she slid on top of her, making sure that Patrice could feel the cock as she moved.

She allowed Alex to place her, now openly shaking, hands above her head, and grasped handfuls of the pillows to try and quiet them. The blonde shifted her legs, allowing Alex to move between them, and wrapped them around her. She drew her heels slowly up and down the backs of the other woman's, from her ankles to her knees, then slowly back   
again.

Alex shivered at the touch, at the way Patrice's body was reacting. She bent, kissing her again as she began to firmly circle and pinch one of Patrice's nipples, leaving it hard and tender before moving to the next. Slowly, she began to guide the cock into Patrice, knowing that she was already wet enough.

"Oh, God, Alex...." Patrice's voice trailed off, her body losing control under the assault on her senses Alex was so adeptly administering. She lost hold on the pillows as she felt Alex filling her, moving slowly but firmly. She moved her hands down, and ran them over Alex's back, then lower, pushing them yet closer together.

Normally, Alex would have stopped, would have teased until Patrice returned her hands to the position Alex left them in, but she didn't want to stop. She began to thrust, slowly, evenly, moaning at Patrice's touch.

At the sounds Alex was making, Patrice was quickly coming undone. She turned and kissed her hard, caressing Alex's tongue with her own. As their pace increased, she was only marginally aware of her nails leaving growing red lines on Alex's bare skin as she drew her hands up the other woman's back.  
The sharp little pains were something Alex was hypersensitive too to begin with, and she moaned loudly, the sound muffled by Patrice's mouth. She began to thrust harder, her movement almost erratic as she base of the dildo put pressure against her clit. "God, Patrice," she moaned.

Her breath was now coming too quickly, and she released Alex's mouth, pressing her face into her neck, alternating kisses and nips, panting and calling Alex's name. It was only a moment before she called out in earnest, her legs shaking, digging her nails into Alex's smooth skin. And Alex's throat was raw from her jagged breaths, from her moans. When she felt Patrice release, she slipped her hand between her own legs, swiftly, roughly rubbing her own clit until she climaxed as well. She shuddered, her weigh falling onto the blonde as she held her tightly, moaning becoming quiet as she came down.

Patrice let out a breath as she felt Alex collapse into her, her world was still in a haze, and she moved her hands up along her back, quieting her, and wrapping the blond into a firm embrace. She felt the afterglow wash over her, and she quietly kissed Alex's hair, speaking without hesitation, "You're amazing Alex, beautiful, and just.... amazing."

"So are you," she murmured, knowing it wasn't the most dynamic thing she could have said. But Alex didn't want to expend the energy to articulate her thoughts. She half rolled off of Patrice, keeping her arms around her. She liked the quiet comfort between them; it was soothing.

As she came down, heavy tiredness washed over her, and she knew she didn't have long before she fell asleep right there. Patrice reached down and unbuckled the harness from around Alex's hips, helping her to push it down. She then pulled her into her arms again, and tugged the blankets over them both.

"Night," Alex whispered, snuggling a little closer in what was obviously already sleep.

"Goodnight Alex," She managed to whisper before drifting off herself, confident for once she wouldn't be dreaming of work.


	8. Conclusions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Summary: A missed call and a yellow slip lead Patrice to conclusions that leave Alex in the doghouse.
> 
> Disclaimer: Law and Order SVU belongs to Dick Wolf and NBC.
> 
> A/N: We would like to note that this fic, as it progresses, is in no way meant to represent an entirely realistic representation of the BDSM Scene. This is a fictionalized, somewhat Romanticized account, in which many of the intricate details are left between the lines. However, despite the poetic license, we hope the portrayal is thoughtful and enjoyable.

When she came into work, Alex was rushed, as it seemed she was destined to be when she woke up next to Patrice LaRue. She could hardly complain, however, especially considering what made her run late that morning. The blonde was smirking thinking about it as she walked into her office. She was thinking about her schedule, about which files she needed, what she needed to write, and what was priority for the morning. She had sat down and was already on her laptop, dealing with morning emails, when a yellow phone message slip caught her eye.

Early calls could never be a good thing, and Alex groaned when saw "Olivia called" scrawled across the thin paper. She checked her cell, making sure the ringer was on and confirming that she hadn't received anything—e-mail, text, or a missed call—from the 1-6. If it were important, she knew could have expected all three, possibly in multiples with voicemails sprinkled on top, so she decided to go through her morning emails before doing anything about the messageless call.

For the first time, Patrice was actually starting to feel badly for her assistant. Jacob's in-box had definitely taken the brunt of her recent changes in schedule, though he had a healthy enough fear for her to not ask any questions. She got in to the office she looked at the files he had placed in a neat pile on her desk, each with a note scrawled across them letting her know when and how they required her attention. One in particular caught her eye and she picked it up, noticing the ADA on the case had noticed a hearing on the evidence.

On further inspection, the blond noticed two more things. Firstly, this might be more efficiently handled out of court without bothering the judge and secondly, the ADA on the case was Alex. Patrice picked up her phone, but set it down again a moment later, deciding instead to stop by on her way to court that day.

Patrice tried to get her professional demeanor in place as she walked into Alex's office. The blonds reminded herself that there had to be separation at work, since neither of them were prepared to jeopardize their careers. She knocked on the slightly open door respectfully.

"Yes," Alex called. It was a moment before she looked up, and she couldn't help a slight smile. The way Patrice was carrying herself, however, alerted her to the fact that this wasn't a social call. "Ms. LaRue." She nodded to a chair. "What can I do for you?"

Patrice tried hard not to let a smirk through when Alex referred to her so formally. She walked in, "Do you have a moment? I'd like to talk about the Carlin case, see if we can work the evidence issue out without having to have a hearing." She went to sit, and noticed something on the floor. Patrice picked it up, and couldn't help a glance at the brief phone message before placing it back on the desk.

Alex nodded and shuffled around for the file, reminding herself. "I think it would be in everyone's best interest to try to work it out, yes." She noticed that Patrice had picked up the message, but she didn't think anything of it. In fact, Alex had forgotten about it until then.

Patrice couldn't help breaking out of her professional role for a moment; her curiosity was too great as to why Alex would have such a mysterious message and why it would have been from Olivia instead of Detective Benson. " Olivia from the 1-6?" She asked, nodding to the message. "I think I met her in my prep for the O'Donnell case."

"Mmhm." Alex shook her head, pushing back from the desk a little as she leaned back in her chair. She shifted out of her professional tone, suddenly wondering why the message—or lack of one—had been couched that way. And she was kicking herself for not calling back. "I don't think it was anything important. She was probably just seeing if I was in early and wanted her to pick up some coffee…"

At Alex's shift, Patrice felt her eyebrows rise skyward. She tried not to get too far off track, but she was aggressively interested in knowing the obvious history here. She was surprised at herself for feeling a little spark of jealousy. The blond knew it was none of her business, and Alex didn't look like she was preparing to elaborate on the subject. Patrice coughed slightly and forced herself to return to the task at hand, "So the evidence, can we just stipulate it'll be under seal for now and address it at trial?"

"That's fine," Alex said all too quickly. She got up, rounding the desk before picking up the thin slip and crumpling it before tossing it into the trash. Patrice's reaction hadn't escaped her notice--at least, she thought it was Patrice's reaction and not something she was making up.

Patrice watched Alex's clipped manner and wondered if she'd struck a nerve. She didn't pretend to know much about Alex in general, and her history in particular. However, she could tell there was much more to this than the a simple gift from a friend. Patrice remained impassive and gave what she knew to be the proper response, "Alright then, I'll have my office draw up a stipulation and have it faxed over for your review."

Alex nodded, going back to her seat. She glanced at the phone and shook her head a little. When she looked back up at Patrice, she forced a smile. "Dinner?"

Patrice watched Alex's gaze, feeling she wasn't getting even half of the blonde's attention. For some reason, this made her bristle slightly and she couldn't help her tone growing a bit sharp, "Sure. Just let me check my book, it's a busy week. I'll let you know." She gave Alex a compulsory smile, and turned to leave.

The onset of that tone snapped Alex out of whatever fog Patrice finding the message had brought on. She sat up a little straighter, pursing her lips, willing herself to pull her shit together. "Right." Her tone was clipped, slightly annoyed but mostly in order to cover her concern.

Patrice paused in the doorway, giving Alex a glance over her shoulder before turning on her heel and walking out, not bothering to close the door after herself.


	9. Punishment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Summary: When Alex goes to Patrice's office to smooth things over, she doesn't realize she's about to face more punishment than Patrice's coldness.
> 
> Disclaimer: Law and Order SVU belongs to Dick Wolf and NBC.
> 
> A/N: We would like to note that this fic, as it progresses, is in no way meant to represent an entirely realistic representation of the BDSM Scene. This is a fictionalized, somewhat Romanticized account, in which many of the intricate details are left between the lines. However, despite the poetic license, we hope the portrayal is thoughtful and enjoyable.

"This is unacceptable Jacob, it can't keep happening!" Patrice fumed.

She had burst back into her office that afternoon to find her deposition notes missing, and the expert's report misfiled. It wasn't the biggest mistake he had made, but her assistant Jacob was currently paying dearly for it.

"Just find them Jacob, or we're going to have to depose Adams again, and the cost is coming out of your paycheck!" Jacob wavered in the doorway of her office a second too long. "Now!!" She spat at him, sitting down heavily in her leather chair. The blond pulled a thick stack of papers over to her, pretending to read them. Jacob didn't have to be told again and nearly ran back to his desk, trying frantically to find the missing notes. Patrice sighed, looking out the large windows of her office for a moment, attempting to settle her nerves.

Alex let the full workday pass, and she would have stayed late, but the way Patrice left was nagging at her more than she cared to admit. She sighed and packed her things quickly. Part of her wanted to just simply get it all out of the way, and part of her quite enjoying seeing the woman so angry. But she wasn't sure yet just how far was too far when pushing buttons with Patrice. Obviously, flirting her way past the receptionist with a completely fake case and fluttering lashes, riding up the the 41st floor, and completely sauntering by the other attorney's frazzled assistant into her office didn't seem like too much to Alex. "I think we have some unfinished business," she said authoritatively as she closed the door.

Patrice started as the door she had slammed earlier was opened. Thinking it was Jacob, she was already lifting a copy of section 91 of the Federal Code to brandish at him. When she looked and saw Alex, she let it drop, though her anger was building again. In all honestly, she knew the feelings were irrational. She had no claim to the woman, and was well aware she was foolish to think otherwise. Still, she couldn't help the jealousy rising in her, and it came out as anger. She glanced up only momentarily as Alex slipped into the room before looking back at her work as if she couldn't spare a minute.

"Yes? Can I help you with something Cabot?" Patrice's voice was haughty and formal.

At this, Alex arched her eyebrows high. "Have you been stewing in here all day over a simple call from a colleague?" she asked, words clipped.

Patrice dropped the brief on the desk, crossing her arms defensively, "Of course not, don't flatter yourself. I am currently stewing, as you say, over the incompetence of my assistant and the tendency of my cases to all go to trial at once. Speaking of which, I don't think I'll have time to do much of anything tonight, I need to work late."

"Is that so?" Alex crossed the room, almost predatory. She didn't stop at Patrice's desk. In fact, she moved behind it, stopping just in the blonde's space.

Patrice didn't take the bait; she just stared at Alex, angered again by her presumptions. In spite of her demeanor, she couldn't help but look just a little too long at those blue eyes. "What exactly did you come here for anyway? I thought you'd need to go catch up with your detective, you've obviously been wasting too much time with me lately."

Alex bit back the urge to scoff at that, instinctively knowing that it wouldn't go over well. She held her ground though, crossing her arms as she drew in a breath. "Olivia and I have been over for a long time, and it's been hard for her to move on."

She knew it was childish, but Patrice didn't like the thought of anyone having such a history with Alex, especially someone she still worked closely with. The assurances were helping, but not entirely. After a pensive moment, she stood and threw her shoulders back to give off what she hoped was a sense of confidence. "Alright, fine. Point taken. Is there anything else?"

"Oh for God's sake." Alex stepped to her quickly and took Patrice's face in her hands, leaning in to kiss her firmly. She wasn't sure where this was coming from or why it didn't bother her or send her running in the other direction, but she didn't take the time to question it.

Patrice melted a little and kissed Alex back, but only for a second before bringing her hands up to the blonde's shoulders and giving her a none-to-gentle shove back. "What the hell Alex? You come in here unannounced," she took a step back towards the other blonde, "Somehow get past my assistant," another step, "And burst in while I'm working," the third step brought them face-to-face, but now on Patrice's terms, "And just expect me to..." her voice trailed off as she roughly tangled her fingers through Alex's hair and kissed her, pushing her against the wall with a satisfying thud.

The delight wasn't entirely in the unexpected movement for Alex. She had, perhaps, been secretly hoping for something like this, but she wasn't likely to admit as much. She found herself grasping for a hold on Patrice's shirt, holding on for whatever she was soon to be in for. And she let out a soft moan as she returned the kiss.

Patrice's mood wasn't over yet, it had been building all day. She broke the kiss abruptly, grabbing Alex by the wrists and pulling her hands away. She pushed them flat against the wall, and leaned in to Alex's ear, "Stay. Right. There." Each word she spoke was punctuated with obvious intent. The blonde leaned back, giving Alex's ear a firm nip as she did, and walked across the room to lock the door ominously.

Alex's chest heaved lightly with jagged breaths as she watched Patrice saunter to lock the door. The click of the lock turning echoed in her head as she waited. Waiting. It was one of the things Alex was good at, one of the things in which she was well trained. And here, instinctively, she stood straighter, lifting her head and lowering her eyes as she stayed in position. The instinct to come to the office had been a good one, and Alex was eager to see how it played out. The only flaw in her manner was that she was not bothering to hide her smirk.

Patrice paused for a moment to quietly appraised Alex, noting she looked none too surprised to find herself in this position. She mused at how easily one could read the intents and desires of another when one had the same impulses themselves, the tells became clear. Her heels clicked on the parquet wood floors as she deliberately stalked back to the other blond. Patrice reached out to lift Alex's chin until their eyes met, "Alex, you've been very presumptuous coming here today, as you were in court before." She licked her lips quietly before continuing, "Now you have two options here. You either leave, and I'll see you for drinks later to discuss your detective like adults, or..." She stepped a little closer, voice dropping dangerously, "...or, you turn around and put your hands on the wall."

To Alex it was hardly a choice, and she had to bite the inside of her cheeks to keep from smiling. She looked in Patrice's eyes for a moment longer, her own dark with desire, with anticipation. Then, she turned and readied herself according to Patrice's instructions. There was just something too irresistible about the situation for the blonde to think of doing otherwise.

As Alex turned, Patrice held back a smile. Her true anger had dissipated, and was replaced by a mixture of excitement and curiosity. Though she wouldn't admit to it, jealousy was one of the few things that would set off this side of her, the side that needed to feel in control physically as well as emotionally. "I thought so." She growled, not moving to touch Alex just yet, enjoying the sight of her waiting compliantly. Alex's behavior, both that morning and in barging into her office unannounced told Patrice that the other blond had things to work out, and Patrice was willing to take a chance to find what they were.

Alex did wait, just as she had been taught to do. She took particular pride in knowing, thinking at least, that she could wait longer than Patrice could hold out. She, too, was curious--curious enough to fall into this dynamic without protest. She waited, drawing in deep breaths, staying as still as she possibly could, smiling to herself.

Patrice slowly walked back to her desk, leaning on it and picking up a paper. She waited a few long moments, pretending to read and keeping an eye on Alex. When the silence hung thickly enough in the office, Patrice addressed the other blonde in cool tones, "So are you going to tell me why you really came here today?"

Alex lifted her chin, swallowing. She weighed silence against an answer. With Liz, she would have stayed silent for a while yet, but she wasn't sure with Patrice. And there was something of a thrill in that. "I wanted to see if you were still angry," she replied, meaning really that she highly enjoyed seeing Patrice that way and covering any worry she was feeling at just how angry Patrice might be.

Patrice impassively turned a page in the file she was holding, "And why would you need to come and interrupt my workday for that? I know for a fact you have a perfectly good phone." She reached for the phone on her desk, dialing Jacob's extension, and spoke to him as if Alex wasn't even there, "Jacob, page 6 line 28 should read, notwithstanding his former plea." She hung up the phone, turned another page, and waited for her answer.

"I wanted to see you," Alex replied, raising her chin almost haughtily. Were she undressed, Patrice would have seen the muscles in her back flexing. Alex wanted to see just how far the other blonde was willing to go, just how much she would play.

Patrice smiled ruefully, her jealousy still churning under her outwardly cool demeanor, "I thought you would have been with your detective, seeing if she needed anything else from you." Patrice knew she was pushing, but she couldn't help herself just then. The blonde was working through her insecurities, her fears of someone new, "What exactly did you hope to gain by coming here anyway?"

Alex bristled slightly at that, at the reference to Olivia that way. It was hardly that, even though Alex knew she was probably right. But enough damage had been done there, and it was time to move on. But Alex stood straighter and simply remained that way in silent defiance.

Patrice closed the distance between them quickly, taking a handful of Alex's hair and twisted it slightly, just as a warning. She leaned in to Alex, repeating the inquiry in low tones, "I asked you what you were hoping to get from this visit." She was giving Alex an out, making sure they were on the same page.

Drawing in a deep, slow breath, Alex tried to focus her thoughts. What had she really wanted? She had weighed the decision to come, but she had not really thought too deeply about her reasons. Alex wanted to make sure that things would be alright. But knew that that would make her sound like a child. She was well trained, however, so she knew when to answer a question. "I don't know."

Patrice nodded slowly, deciding to accept the answer for now since Alex seemed reasonably sincere. She stepped back and slowly unbuttoned her blazer, one button at a time, knowing full well that Alex could see her reflection in the large glass windows. The blond allowed Alex to watch for a moment, setting the garment aside before turning back to Alex and addressing her coolly, "Eyes on the ground Miss Cabot."

The reflection was not as stunning as the woman herself, but it didn't make Alex want her any less. She lowered her eyes, however, as she was told, pale lashes drooping with her eyelids. Patrice moved behind Alex, and smoothly reached around and unbuttoned the top button of her blouse, running her fingers briefly along the other blonde's delicate collar bones. She spoke as her fingers played across Alex's pale skin, "So, you and this detective, how long?" She knew she didn't have the right to be angry as she was not part of Alex's past, but she couldn't resist trying to satisfy her curiosity.

"A couple of years...it was less serious for me than for her," Alex said, not bothering to suppress her shiver at the touch. There was something about doing it this way, talking about it this way that made it so much easier.

Patrice leaned down at the honest admission and kissed the back of Alex's neck, while her fingers quietly undid the next few buttons, continuing their slow progression inside the fabric. "And why less for you then?"

"Because I wanted the governor's chair," Alex said softly, her body pressing slightly into the touch. It was easy to be honest this way, to simply say the words. And they were words that she needed to say. .. But Alex kept her eyes lowered respectfully.

There it was, the little hint of guilt over her own ambitions, one Patrice knew all too well. She ran a hand through Alex's hair, and made quick work of the last buttons, allowing the shirt to hang open. "Was that the only reason?"

Alex shook her head, the shirt falling off of one of her shoulders. She didn't want it, didn't need it. It would tie her down; it would cost her things. And she wasn't willing to take that sort of risk. In her mind, it hadn't been worth it.

Patrice pulled back slightly, feeling she was getting closer to the whole truth, her hands fell to her sides, "Well then, what else?"

Still standing in position, Alex took a deep breath. "I didn't contact her when I came back...for...too long. It was difficult for her."

She moved closer again, sliding her palms over Alex's bare skin, trailing them up her stomach, and lightly over her bra, feeling her nipples harden through the silky fabric. "And you didn't talk to her why?"

"I wanted to move on. I...got engaged." She shook her head, trying not to moan softly at the touch. "It wasn't...part of the plan."

She moved a hand back and unclasped Alex's bra none to gently. She slid her hands under, and ran her fingers over Alex's breasts, taking the nipples in her fingers, rolling them firmly. "Engaged? My, don't you have quite a history?" Patrice fought to keep the surprise out of her voice, to maintain her demeanor, but the comment gave her pause.

At this, she didn't try to quiet her moan, but she remained still, muscles tense in trying not to lean into the blonde's touch. "It doesn't really matter." It hadn't happened after all.

That last comment obviously was a cover, and Patrice could see right through it. She also didn't like to admit to herself how her jealousy was building at Alex's latest admission. She removed her hands quickly, stepping back and bringing a palm down across the top of Alex's thigh. It wasn't hard, but intended to prove a point nonetheless, to shake Alex, keep her from thinking. "Of course it matters. Do not give me that kind of answer again, do you understand?"

She flinched. It was hardly the hardest hit Alex had ever received, but she hadn't expected it at all. After a moment, she took another deep breath and straightened. "Of course. Forgive me."

"Now I expect a better answer Alex." She ran a hand gently over where she had hit her, waiting.

"I broke it off," she said simply, quietly. "It wasn't what I really wanted."

Patrice nodded a little, and reached to the zip of Alex's skirt, pausing, "Wanted in a person, or for your life?"

"My life," she said after a shaking breath.

She slowly tugged the zip down, letting the skirt fall to the floor, "So, what do you want for your life then?"

"I want..." She shook her head. Alex was wearing a garter that day, and the air seemed cool against where her legs were bare and her stockings began. "I'm not sure."

That answer satisfied Patrice for now, it had been a loaded question. That, and the sight of Alex's bare legs was driving her to distraction. She let her hands skim her smooth skin, and her eyes noticed Alex's shoulders shaking ever so slightly.

Alex, however, would not have admitted that. She stood straight, eyes to the floor still,y ears of training showing in her muscles.

Patrice leaned in and kissed Alex's shoulder, deciding to test a supposition. She slipped a finger under Alex's panties, finding her soaked. She purred, "You like this too much."

"Yes," Alex breathed, still keeping her eyes on the floor, her shoulders still shaking.

Patrice removed her finger, stepping back. She was emboldened by Alex's obvious pleasure at the situation. "Turn around. On your knees."

Lowering her arms, Alex turned and knelt in one fluid motion, but not after wincing slightly. She kept her eyes on the floor, just where she could see Patrice's shoes.

God, Alex was beautiful from any angle. Patrice appraised Alex's demeanor, looking for any hesitation or weakness. Seeing none, she wondered at how long Alex had been with Liz, and was surprised to feel a little jealousy once again creep into her thoughts, though she controlled herself. Though, she couldn't help from asking her next inquiry, "I can see you've had some practice. Tell me, just what does your judge do to get this kind of respect from you?"

She swallowed. "I was trained before I met Liz," she said softly, coolly. But with Liz it was different; she had grown surer, more graceful. She had grown into many things--comfort being one of those as well. But Patrice's question, Alex knew, could be so loaded. So she let a weighty silence fall as she considered her answer. "I trust her."

Patrice crossed her arms to keep herself in control, the admission was having an unexpected affect on her, falling someplace between hurt and excitement. She knew what she wanted to ask next, but it was too soon for that, and she was worried about the answer she might get. To cover, she let her desire begin to lead, and stepped around in front of Alex, sliding a hand into her hair, grasping a handful firmly and tilting the blond's chin up so their eyes met. She searched Alex's expression and saw a need she knew all too well. Any worry that she was going too far washed away and she steadied her voice, instinctively knowing what they both needed, "Get up."

Alex stood, rising easily and keeping her eyes fixed on Patrice's. She could see the desire, could taste it in the air. And though she was already wet, she felt a rush of warm between her legs, and she bit back a soft moan.

Patrice didn't release her hold on Alex's hair, and twisted it slightly when she heard the blonde's stifled moan. "Be quiet," she commanded, "this is my office, and I have no intention of starting more rumors than I already have." She marched Alex over to her desk, and pushed her up against the edge, shoving her down face-first, just allowing Alex to catch herself with her hands.

She did, enjoying the slight sting in her wrists and in her hair. She was still willing to push, to see how far Patrice would go, and she was quite pleased. Though, Alex fully realized that if and when they met again in court, it would be...difficult to concentrate. She caught her breath, swallowing whatever noises she was inclined to make, swallowing moaning Patrice's name.

Patrice gave her one more shove into the mahogany surface, addressing her in a tone generally reserved only for particularly hostile witnesses. "Don't you dare move." She released Alex and smoothly moved to the other side of the desk, picking up her phone, "Jacob, feel free to go for the day, this... meeting... with opposing counsel is going longer than I thought." She hung up the receiver, and returned to her position just a few inches behind Alex, making sure she was well aware of her proximity, enjoying the view.

Alex's chest was heaving. The tone was one she had heard before, but it was not a tone often directed to her...by anyone. She couldn't help but let a moan escape her lips. There was something thrilling about being exposed to it, about being exposed this way to Patrice. Whatever she had wanted when she came, it didn't matter; this was what she wanted what she needed. And she would devote all of her focus and energy to continuing it, to try to please Patrice, if possible. But the challenge of it excited her.

Alex's moan didn't escape Patrice's attention, and she instinctively landed her palm across Alex's exposed thigh, "I thought I told you to be quiet," her tone was firm, but not vindictive. "If you continue to do that, you'll have to leave and let me do some of the.... other things...that have crossed my desk today. Do you understand?" She was now falling into the role, but still had to force herself from just gratuitously taking Alex right then, but she knew that wasn't exactly what was needed in that moment.

"Forgive me, Patrice," she said, allowing quiet respect to color her voice. There was a certain level of natural trust between them that allowed for this, and Alex was willing to acknowledge that with her action. And she was flushed and reveling in the sting of the hit.

"Mmhmmm..." Patrice growled, leaning over slightly to drag the nail of each index finger over the skin of Alex's legs, making a slow line from the backs of her knees, up to the hem of her panties. She paused when she reached the fabric, slipping a finger under them, and allowing the elastic to snap back with a satisfying twang. "Take these off, but don't stand up."

Alex steadied herself with a deep breath. She lay flat against the desk and reached back, unhooking the garters and pulling the panties down. She was limber to a point, but after a moment, she shimmied lightly to let them drop to the floor.

Patrice nodded in appreciation, enjoying seeing Alex that exposed. Knowing well from experience, it took training and practice to know the game as well as Alex did. Patrice allowed herself a small smile, knowing that Alex wouldn't be able to see and reached smoothly under the blond, lightly teasing her breasts, allowing her voice to drop in slight amusement. "You're a little too good at that you know."

She shivered at the touch, biting the insides of her cheeks. Alex knew she was good. She took great pride in it, but for this situation, there was something almost shameful about just how good she had become. And that was thrilling.

Patrice slid a hand over Alex's back, moving lower, while keeping the other lightly circling the blonde's nipple. She could sense how aroused Alex was, and knew she was right there with her. Patrice brought her hand between Alex's legs without further warning, sliding three fingers into her, and simultaneously pinched her hardened nipple. Alex was soaked, and the blond pushed her fingers in to the last knuckle. She leaned over her captive to speak in her ear, "slut." The word was harsh, but there was a bit of teasing belying it's meaning. She brought her lips down and kissed Alex's shoulder blade as she worked her fingers slowly inside of her.

She could keep quite at the pinch, at the rough intrusion of Patrice's fingers, but the word, the tone of the other blonde's voice caused Alex to cry out softly and then whimper in remorse. She fought to keep herself still, not to buck against Patrice's fingers, but almost as if illustrating the point, she moved her hips. Words and games and silence...that was what she found most erotic. And Patrice was playing her so well.

Patrice bit down on the blond's shoulder hard, not enough to break the skin, but more than sufficiently to leave a lasting mark. "What did I tell you about staying silent?" Her fingers continued to move, slowly quickening their pace as she awaited her response.

"I'm sorry," Alex breathed sharply. Strands of her hair stuck to her face and neck with the sweat beading there as she pressed back in time with Patrice's thrusts. "God, Patrice, I'm sorry." She balled her hands into fists and squeezed her eyes shut. She was close, so close. Her mind was completely in the situation, with only fleeting thoughts to how she would repay Patrice for this little meeting.

God, she loved seeing Alex finally coming undone, and her pleas told Patrice that she was finally letting go of what had been plaguing her earlier. She moved the hand at Alex's breast lower, and began to stroke her clit firmly in time with her thrusts. She watched the growing red mark on Alex's creamy skin and nearly came herself. She whispered in Alex's ear, her tone now changing, becoming softer, "It's ok Alex, come for me, I want to hear you."

It didn't take long, and the silence was heavy with tension before Alex let out a low moan, throwing her head back and raising her body slightly at the top of her climax. She pressed into Patrice's fingers, wanted to press back into her body. And her moans became louder as the orgasm overwhelmed her. She was panting, messy, and so brilliantly satisfied that the afternoon had paid off more than she had even imagined.

Patrice let out a long-held breath of her own as she continued to push Alex through her orgasm, enjoying eliciting those sounds from the beautiful woman in front of her. When Alex quieted, she removed her fingers, and brought both hands slowly up her sides, moving to quietly rub the blonde's shoulders, which Patrice knew were still sore. She kissed her neck, her hair, her cheek in quiet succession, feeling her relax. A calm sense settled over her as well as they relaxed out of their previous roles, hanging for a moment in common comfortable silence.

"There's nothing left with Olivia," Alex finally said quietly. She stood finally and pulled Patrice into her arms, placing a soft kiss on her lips. "I just...needed you to know that."

Patrice returned the kiss, nodding, "Thank you." She didn't know for what entirely, for the admission, for the moment, the truth?

"Come with me to walk the dogs," she said. "We'll get dinner afterward."

She smiled broadly, and went to retrieve Alex's clothes, bringing them back. Only then did she realize she was trembling slightly. She didn't know what to do, and so laughed quietly, handing over the garments. In her daily life of walls, deceptions, and half-truths, her growing trust with Alex was so unexpected, and her mind was playing it out across her body.

Alex caught Patrice's trembling hands and kissed them before accepting the clothes. She wasn't sure what else to do, what else to say. It seemed like a conversation that would be better served later. That evening she wanted something quiet, something warm, and she knew it would be easy between them. Some instinct told her that, and Alex reserved questions about that for later.

Patrice smiled again, surprised she wasn't worried that Alex had noticed this outward display of vulnerability. She waited for Alex to dress, then donned her coat and led Alex out of the office, shutting off the lights behind them and clicking the door closed.


	10. Clarity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Summary: Alex has Veteran's Day off, but even though Patrice doesn't, Alex manages to convince her to play a little bit of hooky.
> 
> Disclaimer: Law and Order SVU belongs to Dick Wolf and NBC.
> 
> A/N: We would like to note that this fic, as it progresses, is in no way meant to represent an entirely realistic representation of the BDSM Scene. This is a fictionalized, somewhat Romanticized account, in which many of the intricate details are left between the lines. However, despite the poetic license, we hope the portrayal is thoughtful and enjoyable.

Her body didn't wait to be woken by her alarm, it never did. Patrice's eyes opened slightly, taking in the darkness of the room, and the fact that she couldn't feel her left arm. She smiled a little as she registered the comfortable weight of Alex draped across her, and took a moment to ponder. She was falling into quite a mess but a beautiful one at that. She kissed Alex's sleeping head gently, and tried to slide out from under her without waking the other woman so early.

"Mm." Alex registered the kiss, but it was the movement that really brought her out of sleep even though she did not open her eyes. She tightened her arms around Patrice and pulled her closer. "It's a holiday, sleep in with me," she mumbled.

Patrice quickly thought what day it was; honestly, she was so thrown by current events it might have been Christmas and she wouldn't have notice more than that her coffee was suddenly being served to her in red cups. No, she was pretty sure she didn't have the day off. She shook her head in amusement at Alex, "No, maybe it is for you, but just because the courts are closed doesn't mean us drones in private practice can't do a little paper-pushing."

Alex finally opened her eyes and shifted, crawling on top of Patrice. "You can always do it later," she purred, dipping her head to kiss underneath Patrice's ear.

She melted into the touch, moaning a little before pulling her mind back to the present. She lightly pushed Alex back, giving her a rueful smile, "Alex....really...I should go." She didn't, however, move.

At this, Alex became only more determined. She sat up, straddling Patrice's middle and took the blonde's wrists, gently raising them up and resting them, crossed, on the pillow. "Call in." She bent again, this time to kiss her fully.

Patrice was opening her mouth to protest further when Alex kissed her, and she fell silent. The sight of Alex above her was quickly making her body respond, but her mind was still nagging at her. She made to reach for the phone, but instead just turned off the alarm. "But....but...." She couldn't come up with a very logical answer at that moment Patrice groaned; Alex was so adept at playing her body, and she was quickly losing the war with her desire. She tried one last ditch ploy, adding teasingly, "And you're planning on making it worth my while how?"

Alex straightened, cocking her head as if to ask if Patrice really needed to ask her that. She was still cupping Patrice's breasts, letting silence build between them for a moment before drawing her fingers in to pinch both of Patrice's nipples.

"Oh...Alex..." She was almost whining now, warring with her better senses. She finally sighed in defeat and brought a hand down to cover her own eyes, extending the other toward Alex, groaning slightly, "Get me my phone then."

She bent again to kiss Patrice, this time lightly. "Where did you leave it?" Alex asked, already sliding off of Patrice.

"In the living room I think, by my files." She turned to watch Alex walk away, her silhouette was absolutely striking framed by the soft morning light.

SAlex simply nodded as she disappeared from the room. In the living room, she rummaged in the dark for a moment before giving up and turning on the light, finding Patrice's phone exactly where the other blonde said it would be. After grabbing it, she switched off the light and returned to the bedroom. "Hands above your head," she said with a casual sternness the she had long ago practiced to perfect.

She climbed on top of Patrice again, straddling her and settling her weight on the blonde's hips and her own knees. "Mm, what was your assistant's name," she said, pondering rather than asking as she began to go through the contact list. "Jeremy...Jacob..." She found the number and pressed send, holding the phone to Patrice's ear with one hand, the other going to one of the blonde's breasts again.

Patrice shivered slightly as she moved her hands back above her head, carefully crossing them at the wrists. As she heard the call go to voicemail she was thankful for small mercies, though, she was having a hard time forming any kind of excuse. "Jacob... its me...Patrice, it's Patrice. I won't be in today, I ... I...oh... what I mean to say is I'm sick...er...getting sick, and...I shouldn't, um...I just won't be there," she concluded lamely, giving Alex the best courtroom glare she could manage while trying not to squirm under her touch.

"That certainly wasn't very...elegant, Ms. LaRue," Alex purred, bending to nip at Patrice's ear as she dropped the phone. Her fingers tightened around Patrice's nipples again, rolling them lazily.

Patrice opened her mouth to give a smart reply to that, but finding none adequate, closed it again. She just shrugged, feeling herself melting into Alex's touch, not quite believing she had just called in sick when she was most definitely doing very well at that moment.

"Mm, nothing else to say, I see." Alex kissed her deeply, enjoying the fact that Patrice had been so flustered when leaving the message. But as a reward for the decision to stay home, she pressed her hand down Patrice's side, shifting when she finally pushed it between her legs, pressing two fingers into her.

Patrice moaned into Alex's mouth as her hips pushed up into the blonde's touch, words seeming less and less necessary. PShe was fairly certain that she wouldn't regret this decision any time soon. Forgetting herself, her hands drifted down toward Alex, eyes closing slightly.

As soon as she saw Patrice's hands move, Alex stopped completely cold. She arched her eyebrows upwards and pursed her lips. "Patrice."

Her eyes fluttered open when she felt Alex stop, and her voice trailed upward, whimpering slightly as she locked her gaze on Alex's blue eyes and reluctantly replaced her hands over her head again. Alex's breath hitched, but that was the only break in her cool. She started touching Patrice again, thrusting slowly, the fingers of her other hand idly moving from one nipple to the other.

Patrice was breathing more heavily now, and she leaned up, reaching to kiss Alex. She was feeling playful, having just blown off work to stay in bed with a beautiful woman all day, and smugly kept her hands behind her on the blankets as she pressed up toward Alex. Alex was amused, so rarely did she feel free enough to play like this, but it was nice. She leaned back just a bit, only allowing Patrice to just brush her lips. Alex was still pressing her fingers into her, teasingly now. "Mm. Impressive, counselor."

Patrice spoke between light kisses, "Well you did....seem to ....want my hands.... to keep away." She laced her fingers together lightly behind her back, and leaned down to nip at Alex's collarbone. Alex reserved any quips about loopholes and began to thrust more firmly, placing her thumb on Patrice's clit this time.

Alex could feel her own arousal growing with each move Patrice made, and she was very glad at the prospect of an entire day ahead of them. "Do you have anymore surprises?"

Patrice was losing the ability to focus, starting to move with Alex, getting closer with each thrust of her fingers. She put her hands behind her and leaned on them, back arching. "No...not....at the moment."

It was an absolutely beautiful sight, and Alex moaned softly, appreciatively. She dipped, kissing Patrice softly, growing in intensity until she was forcing Patrice back onto the bed. Patrice's breath hitched sharply as she was pinned back down on the sheets. She kissed Alex, hard, letting a deep moan escape. The other blonde was thrusting quickly, diligently now, her thumb circling Patrice's clit roughly. "We have the entire day," Alex breathed once she broke the kiss. "You can come again and again..."

That did it; Patrice tipped over the edge, her heels drawing up, tangling in the sheets. It was several seconds before she was able to breathe again. When she relaxed, Patrice reached up and pulled the blond down onto her, kissing her again, but more gently this time. She released her and smiled broadly, "You better be careful there, I may not ever want to go back to work."

Alex happily fell into the kiss and eased her weight down until she was half on top of Patrice. She tangled their legs together with the sheets and pushed a strand of the other blonde's hair back. "Might not be so bad." But Alex could hardly say that with a straight face.

Patrice gave her a look of mock-offense, sliding her hand down Alex's arm and bringing her fingers up to kiss in slow succession. "You just might like that I suppose, then you could more easily put all my poor innocent clients in jail." She grinned up at her mischievously, she wouldn't generally joke so openly about their obvious conflicts of interest, but today all bets seemed to be off.

"Mm, maybe I'd just take that nice office you would be leaving empty," Alex replied, fingers tingling at the touch of Patrice's lips. It was hardly likely, to say the least. She leaned in, nipping at her ear lightly before whispering. "And you could walk the dogs while I racked up billable hours."

Patrice raised both eyebrows this time, pausing to nip at a particularly elegant fingertip, "Oh really? Pondering moving to the dark side?"

"Mm...maybe." It was actually more sincere than she might have admitted months before. Alex was thinking about a change in her path. She curled her fingertips around Patrice's hand and pulled her closer, pulling her into a kiss. "Though I hardly think I could fill your shoes."

That admission shocked Patrice a little; she hadn't heard Alex talk about a career change so seriously before. The haze of a few moments prior quickly cleared, and she looked up at the other woman, "Oh, you're serious? I always thought... well I suppose I haven't known you long enough to have 'always thought' something. Guess I assumed you were pretty settled with it."

"I was." Alex relaxed back a little bit. It actually felt good to talk about it with someone who was not from the DA's office. "I worked SVU, then came back to homidice...I couldn't stand being the bureau chief of homicide, and I don't know that..." She shook her head. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to kill the mood." And she punctuated that with an apologetic smile.

Patrice smiled back, shaking her head honestly. "No, go ahead, I want to hear what you've been thinking of." She ran her hands lightly up Alex's sides, it was amazing to be so comfortable with her that it felt natural to lay like this, just taking a moment to talk. She had the distinct impression neither of them had had the luxury of such a relationship in a very long time.

"Mm." Alex's eyes fluttered closed for a moment before she opened them again. She propped up on her elbow and traced a wrinkle in the sheets. "I thought I'd run for judge, but I don't think that's what I want. So...maybe the private sector..." She chuckled; thoughts seemed so much more real when actually articulated. "White Collar...or something."

Patrice continued to look at her questioningly, letting her fingers lazily trace over Alex's hip, nodding, "Well you know you'd be an asset anywhere you chose; I'm sure you could have offers from any number of firms in the city."

A wisp of a smile came to Alex's face. She adored a challenge. And in that, there was some spark of the ambition she had all but let go of when she returned to New York. And she wasn't sure she wanted the blood anymore. "Thank you." She leaned forward and gave Patrice a soft kiss. "I think I've gotten a little too complacent lately."

Patrice let the kiss linger, then pulled back and smiled at her, "That's not exactly the term I would have used for you last time we tried a case against each other."

The blonde smirked. "You didn't know me five years ago." And she had no idea what Patrice had heard, if anything.

Patrice shook her head, "No, no I didn't. Five years ago I was...." She paused to consider if it was wise to continue, "I was in a different place, entirely."

"Yeah?" Alex moved a little closer and ran her hand down Patrice's side. It was strange that in a way she had been in the same sort of place five years before, but it felt different, entirely different. But Patrice's tone piqued her interest. Though she wouldn't push, Alex did want to know more.

Patrice caught herself, not quite willing to revisit the full truth of her prior statement, the confusion and forced change, so instead she grasped for the easy way out, "Well, I was working in LA at the time. Way more palm trees out there.... and the buildings are shorter." She laughed slightly, then gave a more honest answer, "I learned a lot there. The hours were long and the cases very complex; I wouldn't be where I am without what I gained from it."

Alex smiled, sensing that there was more but content with what she had been told. "And now here you are." She rolled half on top of Patrice and kissed her lightly.

Patrice held her close, and kissed her back. She was wrestling with her mind, just wanting to break and tell Alex her story, but feeling it wasn't the right time. She slipped her hands through the woman's long hair, idly twining a strand around her finger, giving her a smile. "Yes, here I am, so it was all worth it I think."

"Mm." Alex leaned into the touch, quite enjoying the almost playful tenderness. She had spent long hours in bed in Wisconsin, but that was Emily. And she always listened more than she talked; it has never been as easy as this seemed to be. And there, she was a quiet, and some thought sad, woman. Without realizing it, she became caught up in the memories, a distant look coming to her face.

Patrice watched the shadow fall over Alex's features, and felt her own stomach drop slightly, fearing she'd said too much, been too presumptuous about Alex's feelings this early. She felt her hands grow quiet on the other woman's arms, "Alex? Is something wrong?"

Patrice's voice shook Alex away from the cold nights, the days in a cubical. She smiled apologetically as she put her head on Patrice's shoulder. "I'm sorry. I started thinking about Wisconsin."

She let out a breath as Alex relaxed, nodding quietly. It was easy to forget that within her cool exterior Alex carried more than her fair share of demons. Having just so adeptly evaded a question herself, she didn't like to pry. There was something about being with Alex that was both easy and overwhelming. She was so unlike others Patrice had been with, who were either younger, less established women mostly attracted to the material things Patrice had to offer, or they were, well... they were Donna, with all the complex layers which that relationship had developed. Being with Alex, however, was being with an equal, and it was intoxicating.

"Sometimes it doesn't seem real." And then her shoulder would ache at night. There wasn't much to tell because the days had blurred together endlessly, and while Alex had been unhappy, she couldn't say she had been any happier after returning to Manhattan. Worse than losing her home, her family and friends was losing everything she had been working towards, was losing momentum. She smiled in spite of the thoughts, however. "I sold insurance...and I was pretty damned bad at it too."

Patrice wrapped her arms around the other woman and kissed her forehead, mentally grimacing at the thought of Alex being forced to leave her life behind in attempts to save it entirely. "I can't imagine you were too invested in insurance, no." She leaned back and looked at the ceiling, contemplating, "Maybe you're not feeling right trying to pick up where you left off with SVU because you have moved on, you've changed in the years between," she followed the train of thought to its natural conclusion, "and maybe they have too."

The words rang clearly in Alex's mind. She would have balked at them, but Patrice hadn't been there. She hadn't seen Alex get shot. She hadn't been at her funeral and watched an empty casket been interred. She wondered if that was part of the reasons talking about it with Patrice was so much easier than with anyone else. "You might be right," she admitted.

Patrice watched Alex, wondering what hidden thoughts were passing through her mind. Patrice hoped she hadn't been too direct, it was a topic she new little about, she felt compelled to qualify the statement, "And by that I don't mean to say you're not still the best person for the position. But it is a job, however involved, and whoever with, it's work, and it changes and shifts over time. Sometimes life pushes us, and sometimes we have the luxury of making a choice. Maybe it's time to take that luxury for once?"

It had been a luxury to simply cancel the wedding, and she thought going back to SVU had been an extension of that. But lately Alex though perhaps she had been wrong. Patrice was right--she was damned good for it and right for it, but SVU wasn't the same…and neither was she. She could acknowledge that, at least mentally. "It couldn't hurt to shop around." She idly walked her fingers up Patrice's arm and down again.

Patrice was glad she hadn't given unwelcome advice. It was a flaw of hers to be blunt with people when she saw a logical answer, but it was her nature, and she couldn't change it on the fly. "Not at all, you just might be ready for a new chapter, some new challenges perhaps."

Alex looked up, a playful smile on her face. "Are you sure this isn't just about you not wanting to face me in court?" she asked, smile becoming a smirk.

Patrice returned the grin, moving a hand to her forehead in mock-panic, "Oh! Am I that transparent? And I thought you were close to buying it too!"

She laughed easily before rolling off of the other blonde. Alex got out of bed and offered Patrice a hand. "Come shower with me."

Patrice clasped Alex's hand, allowing her to lead them to the shower, liking more and more how her 'sick day' was shaping up.


	11. Interlude

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Summary: Sometimes sleeping with the enemy lands you on the sofa.
> 
> Disclaimer: Law and Order SVU belongs to Dick Wolf and NBC.
> 
> A/N: We would like to note that this fic, as it progresses, is in no way meant to represent an entirely realistic representation of the BDSM Scene. This is a fictionalized, somewhat Romanticized account, in which many of the intricate details are left between the lines. However, despite the poetic license, we hope the portrayal is thoughtful and enjoyable.

Alex got up, stretching just slightly as she walked to the window in her office. It had been neither a good nor bad day, but it seemed longer than it should have been. And she wasn't half done. She put her hands on her hips as she looked down to the street below. A drink with Patrice would have been her first choice for evening plans, but the blonde was opposing counsel on the Ryder case. And Alex knew she needed to get some sleep that night anyway. She sighed softly; it was a particularly brutal one, and she didn't have the best feeling about it overall. But the SVU detectives had done their jobs, and she had other things she needed to get through before the end of the day.

Back at her desk when she noticed the shadow fall across it from the door, Alex looked up, smiling to see Patrice there. It was an unexpected visit, but her mind went places other than the case. Coffee was actually her first coherent though. "Hi," she said as she closed her laptop and put on her glasses.

Patrice had been glancing over the file again and again, but it didn't add up; she was looking for what she had missed in the facts. But she had been right—the police had made a rookie mistake that she could exploit in her sleep. The blond had quickly drafted a notice motion, and she groaned as Alex greeted her, and she wished she wasn't about to have to see that smile fade quickly.. She was starting to see the inevitable problem with sleeping with the enemy—when you have a good day at work, you run the risk of sleeping on the couch. She wanted to forget about the case and just take Alex out to dinner tonight, but that wasn't in the cards. She crossed the room and handed her the paper, "Sorry Alex, this isn't a social visit, your detectives should have come to you for a warrant before they entered my client's apartment. I'm moving to exclude the evidence they found as a result of the illegal search."

Alex took the paper, reaching instinctively for her glasses even though she already. She made a slight face before skimming the motion. "You have got to be kidding me," she said, more to the paper than to Patrice. Her smile had indeed faded.

"No, I'm not in a joking mood today Alex." Patrice shifted, knowing she was definitely sleeping alone tonight. However, she knew this was way too big of a mistake for her to have done anything else. Without a drastic development in the case, her client was going to walk, and Patrice could see Alex thought so as well.

Finally, Alex looked up, pursing her lips. "Fine." She rounded her desk, paper still in her hand as she grabbed her coat from where it was hanging. In the back of her mind, Alex knew she should make an effort to be more professional, but at the forefront of her thoughts was SVU and just how livid that something like this had happened...again. "Thank you for the consideration, counselor," she said, each word clipped and cold as she pulled her coat on as she turned to Patrice.

Patrice watched her leave, mentally cringing in anticipation of the scene about to take place at the 1-6. She counted to ten before heading for the door, for once not wanting to catch the same elevator as the other blonde, and made a mental note to take Alex someplace very, very nice if they managed to get past this anytime soon.


	12. Escape

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Summary: Despite initial complications, Patrice whisks Alex away for the weekend.
> 
> Disclaimer: Law and Order SVU belongs to Dick Wolf and NBC.
> 
> A/N: We would like to note that this fic, as it progresses, is in no way meant to represent an entirely realistic representation of the BDSM Scene. This is a fictionalized, somewhat Romanticized account, in which many of the intricate details are left between the lines. However, despite the poetic license, we hope the portrayal is thoughtful and enjoyable.

Patrice knew the outcome of the hearing before she spoke, as she was sure Alex did as well. The charges against her client had to be dropped once the evidence was excluded. Alex hadn't spoken to her since they left the court on Wednesday, and Patrice knew they both needed some time away. She knew Alex hadn't made plans for Thanksgiving weekend: it had come up in the last week or so in a discussion about their respective caseloads. Patrice took a gamble and called her favorite bed and breakfast in the Berkshires, the one she hadn't had time or excuse to visit in more than a year. She was in luck, they had had a last minute cancellation, and she had jumped at the chance. However, now as she stood in Alex's apartment deciding whether to call her or just show up at her office packed, and demand the other blonde go with her spontaneously, she was having second thoughts about the plan.

Persia was sitting in front of Patrice, panting, smiling almost; it was almost as if she could sense Patrice's indecision when she got up, barked excitedly a couple of times, and began to circle the blonde as if she wanted to go out for a walk. She could sense that something was going to happen, something that involved _going_. But Porcelain was not as active. She stood a respectable distance from Patrice, never taking her eyes off the blonde.

Patrice leaned down and patted Persia, making up her mind. She knew if she gave Alex the chance to come home and decide, she might find too many reasons to stay in the city and kick herself over the week. Patrice sighed, 'in for a penny, in for a pound,' she mused, and went to pack some clothes for Alex. Returning from the bedroom with her best guess at what the other blond would pack for such a weekend—and a few choice items she had tossed in as a wishful afterthought—she looked at Persia again, "Yes, you get to go too, as does your stoic friend over there," she said, nodding at Porcelain.

Persia barked, wiggling as if she understood more than just the word "go." She half jumped, but she didn't put her paws on Patrice, knowing better--for the moment. at least. Then she ran over to Porcelain, barking as she rounded her, trying get her excited as well. The white dog merely nipped at her companion after the fourth or fifth circle before walking over to where Patrice put Alex's suitcase. Porcelain stepped in front of it, glaring at Patrice.

Patrice smiled at the dogs and went to the laundry room, where she thought Alex kept their food. After a moment she had what she judged to be a few days, and as an afterthought she took a bag of treats she knew Alex gave them sparingly. She put on their leashes, and with the bags in one hand, and the dogs in the other, did her best to make for the elevator.

Persia did not make it easy. She pulled at the leash excitedly, walking back and forth as they waited for the elevator doors to open. Without Alex there, she completely forgot her manners as she jumped for the doors, whining in wanting them to open. When they finally did Patrice was nearly yanked into the elevator after Persia, and it was all she could do to keep from dropping the suitcase and bags. She was suddenly very thankful that Alex's building had a garage, and she wasn't about to be giving the people of the City a good show. She managed to reach her car, only having to disentangle herself from the leashes twice, and she put down the bags, opening the backdoor of the car and motioning to the dogs to get in.

The ginger dog jumped in as soon as she was able, yanking her leash from Patrice's hand. She circled furiously several times before sitting only to get up again and bark happily. It wasn't often that they got to go on trips with bags...though Persia hadn't yet figured out that no bags meant the vet. Porcelain, on the other hand, was not as enthusiastic. The white dog yawned before sniffing Alex's bag and lying down half on top of it.

Patrice cringed a little, as in her enthusiasm Persia's paws left small scratches on her leather seats. She tried to ignore it and turned back to Porcelain, raising an eyebrow at her, "Come on, in the car. Let's get in the car, come on..."

Her voice was upbeat, doing her best to impress upon the white dog just _how_ much fun it would be to play along. It didn't take long before she was pointing, patting the seat, telling Porcelain just how much Persia seemed to like the car, and didn't she want to play too. After a few more tries, the blonde sighed, realizing that if this went on she would be staging an interpretive dance recital for the dog's benefit in the garage. She took a moment to reconsider her tactics.

Porcelain merely blinked before yawning again disdainfully. What she needed was a firm tone, but from the way Patrice reacted to Persia and Persia to Patrice, she did not particularly feel the need to obey. Patrice's presence sans Alex only made it worse. Finally, bored, she flopped onto her side, content to lie there and let Persia and Patrice go.

Patrice couldn't help but stand bemused for a moment, hands on her hips, looking at the sanguine canine on the ground. She was mentally weighing the dog when another thought came into her head; she thought she'd seen a clever commercial at some point along these lines. She reached down and took out several of the dog treats she had packed and held them out to Porcelain, coaxing. The dog managed to look slightly interested, so Patrice began to get into the backseat herself, still holding out her hand as she reached back with the other to toss one to Persia to keep her happy for a moment. About halfway into the car, she realized she couldn't remember how that particular commercial had ended, but decided she didn't much care at the moment.

Porcelain sniffed the treat, and while she was skeptical at first, she got up, following the scent. The rarity of getting a treat intrigued her enough to make her follow, dragging her leash.

Patrice smiled at her apparent genius management of the situation and backed the rest of the way in, downright grinning as the dog crawled in next to her. As she rewarded Porcelain with one of the treats, she leaned over and managed to pull the door shut behind the white dog. It was only then that she realized she had gotten into a less than ideal situation, stranded, as she was, between the dogs in the backseat. She rolled her eyes and, praying silently that no one in the building would need their cars at that very moment, attempted to crawl between the front seats, the maneuver being made no easier by the fact that she was still wearing her heels, and suit from work earlier that day.

The white dog gobbled down her treat then sat, watching each of Patrice's movements almost smugly. Even Persia stopped fidgeting and circling, cocking her head to see what sort of contortions Patrice was putting herself through to get into the front seat.

After nearly getting stuck a few times, Patrice managed to reach the handle of the driver's side door and swing it open, nearly tumbling out headfirst. She caught herself, palms on the ground, and she turned her head in time to hear the elevator doors ring and see a well-dressed man walk out and head to his car. She stopped as he sighted her, and Patrice cringed.

She dragged herself the rest of the way out and got hurriedly to her feet, trying to give who she now recognized to be one of the equity partners at her firm, nonchalant smile, "Thom....hi, good to see you...just....picking up the dogs." She was smoothing her clothes, trying to come up with a lame excuse, "They um... they...." she couldn't manage it, and he was smiling openly at her, she changed tactics, trying to get out of there quickly, "I'll have the Altman motion on your desk on Monday, have a good weekend."

She blushed furiously and tossed the bags in the trunk, then got in the car, and tossing a slight glare in the rear view mirror at Porcelain, she headed off to find Alex. Patrice just hoped the other blond would be easier to get in the car than the dog, but she wasn't going to bet on it.

In her first lucky break of the day, Patrice managed to find a parking space outside Alex's office. She put a few coins in the meter and headed upstairs, fairly sure Alex would still be brooding over her week. No one questioned her presence, probably assuming she was there to wrap up the case. The blonde knocked on Alex's closed door.

As a rule, the interns tried to avoid Alex, but since the motion and especially the hearing, the rule seemed to extend to everyone. Those who had known and worked with her before recognized this as the worst of her wore moods. And Alex did very little to hide it. The office was abuzz with people trying to get things done before the holiday, trying to get away a little earlier than usual, but Alex remained in her office with her door closed. Her desk was a bit of an unusual mess, and she was busy tapping the nose of a pen against her desk, ear to the phone receiver and mouth poised to yell.

"And when I..." Alex paused at the knock and knitted her brows together, annoyed. She covered the receiver, inclining her head towards the door. "Yes?" she snapped. She almost went back to the phone without really looking at who was coming in, but once she saw Patrice open the door, Alex pursed her lips. "It can wait until Monday," she said into the receiver before hanging the phone up without listening to the mumbling on the other end. The blonde barely took a breath before standing and crossing her arms. "I don't think there's anything left for us to discuss, Counselor."

Patrice ignored Alex and closed the door behind her, turning back and crossing her arms. Yep, this was about what she had expected. She met Alex's stare but with a warmer gaze, "About the case, no, you're right. About the weekend, however, there's plenty to discuss…but not here. So I suggest you get your coat, this all will be waiting for you when you get back." She didn't expect Alex to take well to that but hoped she'd be intrigued rather than outright angry.

It was ridiculous to let work bleed into her personal life this way, but Alex still felt herself tense, opening her mouth to speak; however, she found herself shutting it without saying anything. She had been poised for...something...for a fight. But Alex took a moment, letting some of the tension melt. In the back of her mind, hadn't this been what she wanted--to simply move past it? It wasn't Patrice. Alex reminded herself of that. But if it wasn't Patrice, what was it...really?

"I really have some things to finish," she managed finally.

Patrice crossed the room, arms still crossed, "No, you don't. You need to come with me, we're getting out of town for the weekend."

Alex shook her head almost as if she didn't comprehend. She took off her glasses and pinched the bridge of her nose. Getting out of town was an option she hadn't even considered. Taking off of work was just barely in her realm of possibilities. "No, that's..." She shook her head and motioned to her desk.

"Alex, you're going with me, it's not negotiable." Before the blond could respond, Patrice closed the rest of the distance and leaned over Alex's desk, turning her hands over, palms outstretched for Alex to look at. She raised both eyebrows, "Alex. Do you know how you get scrapes like those? _Do you know?_"

Seeing that was enough to distract Alex from further protests. She leaned forward, putting her glasses back on to get a better look. "What have you done?" A myriad of things ranging from the comical to something worse went through Alex's mind. She took one of Patrice's hands in hers, touching the palm carefully.

Patrice rolled her eyes slightly, allowing Alex to inspect her hands as she continued, "I've..I've learned that in order to do this to one's self, you must be tricked into taking a header out of the driver's door of your own car by two bulldogs, preferably right in front of Thom Bingham. And oh, by the way, thanks for the heads-up that you live in the same building with one of my senior partners." She couldn't help but start to smile a little as Alex worked that all out.

Alex's lips were already curling into a smile, an almost silent laugh escaping, building as she let go of Patrice's hand. She squinted and shook her head in sympathy, almost living Patrice's embarrassment. Almost. She was laughing too hard now imagining the scene for it to really be effective. "God, I'm sorry... I'm..." She shook her head, tension fading as she finished laughing. "Porcelain really hasn't warmed to you." And she was willing to bet that it was the larger dog that had posed a problem.

Patrice was now laughing too and judged it was safe to approach Alex without risking being attacked. She rounded the desk and put an arm around Alex's waist, pulling her in. She quieted a bit and smiled, "So can I ask you again to come with me? I mean, I'll take the girls to the Berkshires myself, but I'm worried what I'll have to do to get Porcelain back out of the car."

"To the Berkshires?" Alex raised her eyebrows as she relaxed into Patrice's touch. She sighed softly and placed a light kiss on the other blonde's lips. Realistically, the work could wait, and Alex knew she needed to put energy into what was really going on rather than into being angry with Patrice. "Of course I'll come with you."

Patrice kissed her back, and relaxed as she followed Alex out. She was pretty sure her choice of locations would be appreciated. Patrice felt a little smug as she caught saw disbelief written across a few of Alex's coworker's faces as they made their exit, she was sure none of them expected to see Alex smiling any time soon, especially in the presence of her opposing counsel.

At the sight of Alex, both of the dogs pressed against the car door. She turned to them once she got in, before putting on her seat belt. "I hear you've both been handfuls," she said softly, smiling as she smoothed their ears and patted their heads.

Porcelain looked to Patrice then sniffed Alex until she was satisfied that she was alright, and Persia simply licked her mistresses hands. "Settle down," she said sternly and at which both dogs settled into spots in the back seat. Alex smiled to Patrice. "It just takes a firm tone," she said as she pulled on her seat belt. And before they were wholly out of the city, she had fallen asleep with her head against the window.

Patrice smiled as she looked over a few minutes into the drive to see Alex sleeping, she knew they both needed the break. As she headed north, the city gave way to towns, then to hills and trees. After the second hour, even Persia had quieted, and Patrice was alone with her thoughts. The last few weeks had been a hurricane of emotions, stress, work.... now all that began to melt away, and she realized she was looking forward to some time away with Alex, pure and simple.

She wouldn't pretend to know what was in store for them beyond this weekend, but she was planning on making the most of it. The light was fading into dusk as she reached the gravel road leading to the small inn. The establishment was a renovated farm, with the grounds converted and the original buildings re-done into well appointed, but not overly lavish, guestrooms. She pulled up outside of the office and slipped out of the car to get the keys. The dogs watched her go but were content for the moment to watch over their still-sleeping mistress in her absence.

When Patrice returned, she pulled the car around to their building and turned off the motor before leaning over and kissing Alex on the cheek, waking her gently. "Alex, we're there, let's go inside."

"Mm." Alex stretched a bit before opening her eyes, blinking sleepily. "Did I sleep the whole time? I'm so sorry," she said, sitting up and looking about to try to get her bearings. "I meant to take part of the drive." The dogs stirred as she did, and when Alex stood, Porcelain barked, ready to get out. The blonde kissed Patrice quickly before letting them both out to take care of their business before snapping her fingers and ushering them inside. "This is beautiful..."

Patrice brought in their bags from the car; she hadn't packed too much but had thought to stop and get some dinner and a bottle of wine up for the first night, knowing that the small town nearby might have limited options for visitors arriving in the evening. She smiled and walked over to Alex, kissing her quietly. The other blonde's skin was still flushed slightly from sleep, and it was more than a little becoming. Patrice turned and put the food on the table for later, motioning to Alex's suitcase, "I did my best, so I hope you won't hold it against me if I didn't pick out your favorites." She kicked off her shoes and lay on the bed, relaxing for a minute from the long drive.

"I'm sure it's fine." Alex glanced at the table before sitting beside Patrice and brushing back a lock of the other blonde's hair. "You thought of everything didn't you?" She was smiling, but Alex felt at least partially like a complete jerk. She had been taking so much out on Patrice even just by her silence, when all Patrice had done was her job.

Patrice smiled back, reaching over to thread her fingers through the other woman's, "I did my best, I'm just glad you came with me."

She wasn't angry about Alex's behavior that week, she knew they were both competitive people, and having a case ruined by a mistake out of your control was the ultimate in frustration. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes for a moment, realizing it had been a long time since she had been someplace so quiet.

With a stern look at the dogs, indicating that they were not to follow her, Alex lay down next to Patrice. She turned to her side and pressed her forehead to Patrice's shoulder, enjoying the ease of the silence that fell between them. "I think I owe you an apology," she said quietly as she ran her fingers down Patrice's other side.

Patrice sighed as Alex moved closer, and then opened her eyes to look at the other blond when she spoke, slightly surprised to hear her apologizing. She didn't feel it was necessary but melted a little anyway, "Oh, no Alex, really it's alright. I know it's been a hell of a week." She smiled a little, lightening the mood. "And I'm sure my hands will heal in a matter of days. Besides, I'm sure I gave whoever watches your building's security tapes a good show."

"Mm." Alex pushed her hand under Patrice's shirt and rested her palm on the blonde's stomach. "I wonder if I can get my hands on a copy," she teased. She had been dwelling on the week, dwelling on the way the mistakes kept adding up. She sighed softly and closed her eyes.

Patrice chuckled softly, enjoying Alex's touch. She leaned over and kissed Alex's hair. "If you do, just let me know so I can check my form for next time. I think if you watched in slow motion, you can actually see the second where my professional dignity jumps ship."

"I can only imagine how satisfied Porcelain must have been." She began to rub slow circles on Patrice's stomach, simply enjoying the contact she had starved herself of for almost a week.

"Mmmhmm....I think she enjoyed herself more than a little....quietly of course. Especially the bit where I got my heel stuck on the steering wheel." She was still smiling, but now her skin was beginning to tingle in anticipation where Alex was touching her. And Patrice was realizing just how much she'd missed Alex's presence in the last few days.

"Oh, Patrice..." Alex pressed her body against the blonde as she began to shake with laughter. She could only imagine, and imagining was enough to make her feel so much lighter. "I'll make it up to you..."

Patrice pretended to be incensed at Alex's laughter, but her smile belayed that facade. She ran her hands down the other blonde's back and raised an eyebrow at her, "Oh? And just what might that entail?"

Shifting under the touch, Alex smirked. She had been thinking about dinner, perhaps a massage, but those thoughts were quickly replaced by Patrice's tone. She pressed her hand up and playfully began to toy with the lace of Patrice's bra. "Well," she said, leaning up to kiss Patrice softly, "I suppose you need to be compensated for your time...and for your...pains..."

Patrice kissed her back, slipping her hands under Alex's shirt to caress her smooth skin. Her breath caught slightly, and she could feel her nipples hardening under Alex's fingers. She knew she wouldn't be able to hide her body's reaction if the other blond kept this up for much longer. She nodded, smiling broadly now, "I like what I'm hearing, not sure I've met anyone in our profession who doesn't appreciate a little ... compensation."

"Well..." Alex smirked at both Patrice's spoken and unspoken responses. She began to toy with Patrice's nipple through the lace, taking her time, letting the moment build. She shifted closer to Patrice, ending up half on top of her, their lips touching. "I suppose I'll have to figure something...appropriate out."

It was all Patrice could do to keep from moaning a little, something about that expression of Alex's made her lose her control. She tilted her chin and kissed her and moved a hand up to pull the elastic out of Alex's hair, letting it fall around her shoulders. She grinned, her tone teasing now, "I'm looking forward to your choices on the matter."

The blonde leaned back and shook her hair out, letting it fall more fully around her shoulders and face. She began to pull up Patrice's shirt, taking it off when the other woman shifted to help, and before she could lie back down, Alex made quick work on Patrice's bra. "I hope you'll be pleased," she replied, settling back on top of Patrice and pressing her thigh between the blonde's legs.

Patrice felt a shiver run over her as Alex continued, and she smiled up at her, fast losing the ability to form coherent sentences, "I...I'm sure I will be."

Alex didn't speak, her breath catching. She kissed along Patrice's collarbones, drawing out each touch, leaving faint marks as she nipped and sucked. Then she moved down, keeping the pressure between Patrice's legs as her own shifted. And she took one of Patrice's nipples between her teeth.

At that, Patrice couldn't help but move her hips slowly, rocking against Alex's leg. She ran her hands through Alex's hair, encouraging her, small sounds of enjoyment and arousal starting to drop from her lips. Alex nipped lightly and quickly before moving on to Patrice's other breast. Any thoughts of drawing out the experience, of dramatizing it were beginning to vanish at the sounds coming from Patrice's mouth. She moaned lightly into Patrice's skin before pulling away to pull off her own shirt and bra. She wanted to feel her skin against the other woman's; she had been wanting it for a while.

She watched in appreciation as Alex's skin was revealed, pulling her in again, kissing her soundly. There would be time for teasing, for drawing it out later, but now they needed to feel each other, their bodies needed the contact they had been missing.

"God, Patrice..." Alex kissed her neck, forgetting everything for a moment as she pulled the blonde close, simply holding her, listening their jagged breaths. She kissed her neck and breathed in the scent of her hair, wondering why she had deprived herself of this.

Patrice was done with any kind of mental restraint, she reached down and began to purposefully, almost forcefully, remove Alex's remaining garments, pausing now and then to kiss, nip, and lick, at the exposed skin.

Almost frantic, Alex squirmed as she could not decide whether to help or to push Patrice's pants of. She clawed at fabric, tossed it away and tangled her legs with Patrice's as she pulled her into a heated kiss. "Just...God..." she breathed, pressing her hand between Patrice's legs, pushing her fingers into the blonde and moaning. "Want you..."

A strangled moan escaped Patrice as they collapsed in a tangle of limbs, kissing Alex hard between breaths. Everything was happening quickly, and her mind was no longer involved. It was simple and erotically forceful. Patrice pulled Alex hard against her, feeling how wet she was on the skin of her thigh. She moaned again when Alex pushed into her, pressing down on her fingers, moving more quickly.

The sound, the feel simply made Alex push harder, more quickly. She pressed forward into Patrice's thigh, squirming into a rhythm with her own thrusts. Moaning, she nipped at Patrice's neck, not fully aware that she was intent on marking the blonde there.

Patrice moaned again and turned her head, closing her eyes and allowing Alex better access. For once she wanted to feel the twinge on her skin that meant she'd have a constant reminder of this moment for days. She was getting close now, and by her breathing, Patrice could tell Alex was as well. She ran her heel up the back of the other woman's thigh, pressing her down, moving them faster. Alex whimpered, but she didn't stop. She pressed more firmly into Patrice, rubbing her thumb over the blonde's clit. She wanted to feel her come, to hear her moan. And Alex knew that was all she needed as she pressed into the smooth skin of Patrice's thigh.

Alex's touch pushed her over the edge and she arched up into her, her hand twisting in Alex's hair, pulling them together. Patrice shuddered, mouth open slightly. After a few breathless moments, she sank back onto the bed, pulling Alex down to kiss her again.

It was as Patrice came down, at the kiss that Alex began to come, moaning into Patrice's mouth as she pressed hard into her. She shuddered on top of Patrice, breaking the kiss when she finally felt her release drawing to its end. "Mm," she murmured, not wanting to move from that spot.

Patrice smiled lazily, her body languid and satisfied. She wrapped Alex in her arms, keeping her there, kissing her forehead gently. That was the beauty of the moment, they had no place else in the world to be, and it felt amazing.

As their bodies finally began to cool, Alex could have gone back to sleep, but she fought it, wanting to prolong the easy, heavy silence between them as long as she could.


	13. View

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Summary: As their weekend away continues, Patrice and Alex enjoy the quiet, and Alex thinks about some serious decisions.
> 
> Disclaimer: Law and Order SVU belongs to Dick Wolf and NBC.
> 
> A/N: We would like to note that this fic, as it progresses, is in no way meant to represent an entirely realistic representation of the BDSM Scene. This is a fictionalized, somewhat Romanticized account, in which many of the intricate details are left between the lines. However, despite the poetic license, we hope the portrayal is thoughtful and enjoyable.

It felt so wonderful to wake up to daylight outside the windows. Patrice stretched slightly and just took a moment to relax. She looked over at Alex, who was still sleeping, the linens wrapped around her and sunlight playing on her hair. Patrice felt like she could lie like this all weekend, but she wasn't about to let a rare sunny day this late in the fall go to waste. And the dogs were starting to pace, clearly ready to start the day. She leaned over and kissed Alex's shoulder, gently tugging the sheets out of her grasp, whispering to her quietly.

The soft feel of Patrice's lips could have been anything, but something told Alex that it was something worth waking up. She opened her eyes, rolling over as the sheets were pulled and untangled, and after blinking leisurely, she smiled up at the other blonde. "Morning." Alex couldn't remember the last time she had slept so hard.

Patrice thought of asking if Alex had slept well, but looking at the other blonde's expression, she didn't think she needed a verbal answer. She kissed her, and then pulled away, going to find some clothes. She tossed a comment over her shoulder, "How about coffee and a little walk outside? It's not every day we get to be out of the city, I could use some fresh air."

Alex considered it for a moment. She was perfectly warm and comfortable in bed; however, coffee did sound good. She looked to the dogs, who had undoubtedly heard the word walk judging by the way Persia was twitching. "Coffee first...then we can discuss the walk...:

Reluctantly, she rolled out of bed, immediately going to Patrice and wrapping her arms around her from behind.

Patrice paused in her preparations and turned into the embrace, kissing Alex on the cheek. She leaned back and gave her a crooked smile. "Discuss it huh? I thought we'd be taking the coffee to go. We didn't come all the way up here to stay inside." She kissed Alex again before concluding, "At least I didn't."

Gently, Alex turned the other blonde in her arms. "It's early," she insisted before kissing Patrice again. Of course, it was already the middle of the work morning for both of them, so Alex knew her point was completely moot. "And cold..."

At that, Patrice couldn't stifle a small laugh, "Cold? Did I just hear you telling this California girl its cold?" She tried to disentangle herself, making to finish getting dressed. Patrice laughed again and pointed to Alex's suitcase. "I packed you a coat."

"How kind of you." She stepped back, rubbing her shoulder thoughtfully as she thought of the winter in Wisconsin. The dogs probably needed to go out anyway, so Alex let Patrice have the win. But she didn't hurry to get dressed. Instead, she set about making a pot of coffee, reconciling herself to just a short walk.

Patrice let Alex take her time with the coffee and finished getting dressed, pulling her hair back into a ponytail. She found two paper cups in a cabinet and brought them over, waiting for Alex to get ready, watching amused as the other Alex glanced out the window with obvious trepidation. She smirked. "Don't worry, I'm sure there won't be too many bears around this time of year."

Alex laughed lightly and pushed off of the counter. "I don't remember you being so...mm, difficult to distract in the morning." A smirk and then she was rummaging through her suitcase to find something to wear with the intent of unpacking once they got back. Finally, Alex was dressed and ready to go, and the dogs were too, standing as she clipped their leashes to their collars. She took a deep breath and held her hand out for the coffee cup. "Alright..."

Patrice was still enjoying her small victory as she handed over the coffee and opened the door. She took a breath as they walked out; the air was crisp, and there was still some lingering fall color in the trees. She pointed to a path leading through a field toward one of the hills that surrounded the inn. "Start out this way? If I remember correctly, there's a stream at the base of the hill, it's a good walk." She was looking forward to just talking with Alex, away from either of their real lives.

Alex nodded and took a sip before starting. Persia was practically jumping to go, but Porcelain waited patiently, looking up at the blondes. "If Persia calms down, we may be able to let them off of their leashes." They were good dogs, and she hadn't had any trouble doing it before when they were out of the city. Alex took another breath before beginning, looking to Patrice with a slight smile; she had missed this more than she realized...the closeness of just...spending time together. It was a luxury in their schedules, and she had been too much of an as lately to realize that.

They started off down the path, taking their time. Once they were away from the buildings they let the dogs off their leashes to explore—there were few things they could get into trouble with anyway.

Patrice took a sip of her coffee and let out a long breath, "I think this long weekend came just in time. I'm not sure I could have dealt with the full week at work." She smiled as Persia started running circles around Porcelain, proudly displaying a stick she had found.

"I've been getting shockingly little done," Alex said, knowing Patrice wouldn't be surprised. She had spent most of her time frustrated or frustrated and yelling at someone. She chuckled when Porcelain pulled the stick from Persia's mouth and trotted over to them. Alex took it and tossed, careful not to throw it too far. "They're going to be filthy," she said, tone indicating that she didn't really mind as she watched the dogs run after the stick and roll in the fallen leaves when they got to it. Almost as an afterthought, she slipped her hand into Patrice's.

Patrice squeezed Alex's hand and paused for a moment, pulling her in and kissing her before continuing on the path. "Yes, I think they are." She smiled, deciding not to tell Alex yet just quite how muddy the dogs were likely to get once they reached the stream. She changed her focus back from the dogs, "You seemed like you've been having a rough few weeks at the office. Honestly Alex, I don't see how you can do those cases day in and day out, the few I take nearly drive me out of the profession."

"It's..." Alex rubbed her forehead, her fingers cold in contrast to how warm the other hand in Patrice's was. "Don't get me wrong, I care about the victims, but I think the ambition pushed me into sleeping at night." She sighed. And that wasn't there anymore, at least not in the same way.

Patrice nodded, knowing Alex was debating with herself. She pulled her a little closer as they walked. "Oh, I don't think your concern for them has ever been at issue, it just seems like you've had quite a few more bad days than good lately." She didn't care to think that she had more than a small role in that average, but they both knew what they were asking for when they started all this.

"Yeah..." Alex was glad for the closeness, and she didn't pull away. She knew she couldn't keep pulling away from the topic either. "Patrice, I..." She shook her head, slowing as she looked at the blonde. "I don't know that I want...that I can keep doing it." The words were labored, and Alex shook her head as if to clear them away. While it had come up before, it seemed even more real now.

She paused and looked at Alex; the words weren't totally surprising, but Patrice was still slightly stunned to hear Alex say it so bluntly. She leaned over and kissed Alex's cheek, "Alex, you know you're strong and talented enough that you could keep on as long as you wanted and do well. That said, whether you want to is a legitimate question, and you're not wrong to ask it." It was the most honest advice she could give, not presuming to know even a fraction of Alex's history at this early stage in their relationship.

"The truth is I'm...feeling a little stuck," Alex said, after letting Patrice's words hang in the air for a moment. She resumed their earlier pace, still holding Patrice's hand as they pushed forward. "I hated working as a bureau chief for homicide, and going back to SVU was a decision that I thought was the best, for me...for what I actually wanted." She shook her head again, lips curling up into self-deprecating smile. "I just had no idea that...like my engagement, it was something I needed to do to discover that it really wasn't...the same, that it wasn't what I wanted." Underneath the smile, it was difficult to say, and Alex felt the sting of the admission.

Patrice looked down and smiled as Persia, wiggling excitedly, brought over a new stick, this one much larger than the first. She picked it up and tossed it before turning back to Alex, nodding. "It's hard sometimes to have to face that you can't just go back to something and have it be what you remembered." She knew it was hard for either of them, driven as they were, to admit when it was time to make a change; they were both too proud. She continued in a lighter tone, "So, any thoughts about what else might interest you? Somehow, I don't see you doing real estate closings all day."

She laughed lightly. "Mm, yeah...not likely." Alex watched for a moment as Persia found the stick and got into a tug of war with Porcelain. She took a deep breath. "I'm not sure...white collar, maybe..."

They were nearing the stream, and the field was giving over to trees, the shade making the air colder. Patrice watched amused as the dogs approached the water cautiously. "You'd be good at it, but you'd be trading the drama of your current cases for the wheeling and dealing of criminal matters based in dollars and cents, rather than in trauma and emotion. Honestly, I don't think it's a bad deal." She paused, reaching the logical conclusion of her earlier inquiry. "Are you thinking of really jumping the fence and going to private practice? Or staying on the harassing side of things?" She smiled playfully.

Alex kept a wary eye on the dogs, ready to yell if they got too close to the water. She didn't want to have to deal with taking two wet and rowdy dogs back to the room. Finally, when she saw Persia testing the water, she stepped forward and called, "No!" She wondered how long it would last, especially when she turned to Patrice. "I think my time at the DA's office is done," she said softly, hand disengaging from Patrice's and going to her shoulder where the scar was. Alex wasn't completely conscious of the action, but she was of how tired she sounded.

Patrice couldn't help but raise an eyebrow. The gesture was somewhat lost on her, but the statement wasn't. She was surprised at how quickly Alex responded, and she knew these thoughts had been rattling around in the other blonde's brain for quite some time. Patrice knew that Alex already had her mind made up; she was merely serving as a sounding board for the other woman's conclusions. She smiled gently and took Alex's hand again, pulling her along the path, which continued on the other side of the stream. "You sound like you need a new perspective." Patrice knew the view would be worth it from the top, even if she had to drag Alex part of the way.

"That's certainly a way of putting it," she replied, smiling. Alex could hear splashing behind them, and she knew Persia has gotten her feet wet. It wasn't the end of the world, however. And she was enjoying the time with Patrice too much to really be bothered by it. She focused on her own words, replaying them in her head. Now that she had actually said it, it felt...right, and that it itself brought some relief. "I suppose I really need to start looking...and hoping that the good parts of my reputation outweigh the bad."

Patrice smiled and rolled her eyes. "I wouldn't worry about that, I think you'd be choosing between offers." She smiled broadly and continued toward the stream, lightly stepping over the rocks to cross it, turning back to Alex once she reached the other side. "Just do me a favor and don't go chasing after the corner office I've had my eye on for a few years."

Alex smirked as she followed suit. "I think I can manage to stay out of your way." She took Patrice's hand again before looking over her shoulder, making sure the dogs were following. "Though..." And this, she realized, was difficult to as well. Nearly five years before, she had easily called in favors and used family connections, but this was different. "If you know anyone..."

She smirked, knowing if the partners at the big firms around town got wind of Alex's intentions she'd be getting offer letters shoved under her door constantly. Patrice kissed her and started moving on the path up the hill, "Do I get a finder's fee?"

"Anything you'd like," Alex said, meeting Patrice's smirk with one of her own. She resisted the urge to pull Patrice into her arms and drag her back, though.

She nodded smugly, "I'll hold you to that."

Alex merely smiled. She didn't want to get too cocky about it the situation, but her ego had always been one of her assets. They would revisit the subject again she was sure, but now that they seemed to be half way up the hill, she drew in a breath. "This has not been a short walk, you know..."

"Short is a relative term." She smiled and pressed on, Patrice was content to let Alex dictate their activities for the rest of the day but was confident that in the end they both would be glad they made it to the top. Eventually, the ground leveled out, and they came into a clearing in the trees. Patrice stopped, looking around, as the valley lay sprawled out in front of them, the buildings of the inn small in the distance. She pulled Alex in and just took a moment to look around, contemplative.

As the scene opened up, Alex drew in a breath. _Worth_ it was an understatement. She put her coffee cup down and wrapped her arms around Patrice, content to look for a while with her head resting on Patrice's shoulder. "You win," she said softly, smiling. "It's beautiful."

Patrice smiled and turned to kiss Alex, letting their lips linger, brushing over each other. "Well.... I do like to hear that." Patrice ran a hand through the other blonde's hair, letting her take her time.

Alex raised her eyebrows but met the kiss with another. "Don't get too used to it," she said, closing her eyes at Patrice's touch. The moment, however, was short lived as Persia barked when she and Porcelain rain into the clearing. She bounded towards the couple, stopping a few feet away to shake herself.

Patrice laughed in surprise and instinctively ducked behind Alex, shielding herself from the flying water droplets. She looked down at Persia, too amused to be annoyed. "I think we're going to need to ask for some extra towels when we get back."

Alex tensed when the cold water drops hit her. It wasn't enough to make her angry with the dog, but she did give Persia a stern look, causing her to sit. "And I'm going to get you for that," Alex replied, turning and pressing herself against Patrice as she wrapped her arms around her.

This time she raised both of her eyebrows as she regarded Alex with amusement, "Oh really?"

"Really," Alex pulled Patrice in for a firm kiss as she squeezed her hips to illustrate her point.

Patrice was enjoying where this was headed so far and wondered just what "accidentally" pushing Alex into the stream on the way back down might get her. However, she wasn't going to push her luck. She met the kiss and reached to pull Alex closer.

Alex sighed softly when the kiss broke, and she pressed her cheek to Patrice's for a moment. After one last look at the view, she took Patrice's hand again. "Let's go warm up..."

She smiled, lacing their fingers together, and let Alex lead her back the way they had come. "Sounds perfect," she replied contentedly.


	14. Attention

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Summary: Alex gets absorbed in business the last day of their weekend, and Patrice decides she's tired of being ignored.
> 
> Disclaimer: Law and Order SVU belongs to Dick Wolf and NBC.
> 
> A/N: We would like to note that this fic, as it progresses, is in no way meant to represent an entirely realistic representation of the BDSM Scene. This is a fictionalized, somewhat Romanticized account, in which many of the intricate details are left between the lines. However, despite the poetic license, we hope the portrayal is thoughtful and enjoyable.

Alex tapped her index finger against her chin as she sat on the bed with her laptop balanced on her crossed legs. She was already thinking, planning. When she made a decision, she made a decision. Porcelain was stretched happily at her side, and from time to time, she would reach out to scratch her stomach. She had almost entirely forgotten about Patrice, who had been petting Persia the last time she looked up.

Patrice had long since stopped petting the other dog, and had been reading the local town paper absentmindedly, while really watching Alex. There was a spark in her interest that Patrice hadn't seen before, a new interest. She smiled a little; they had gotten an early dinner, and Alex carried the conversation, talking about who she should contact, what steps to take, and so on. The second they got in, Alex had settled down to work and had said little more, not even noticing as the light faded. Patrice had finally gone and turned on the lights herself, lest the two of them end up sitting around in the dark. She wondered just what might distract Alex, since the turning of the Earth itself had gone unnoticed. Patrice put down the paper and went to rummage in her suitcase, returning from the bathroom a few moments later in a short black slip, letting her hair down to fall around her shoulders as she advanced quietly across the room toward Alex, seeing how long it would take her to notice.

That Patrice had gotten up had not gone unnoticed by the blonde, but she hadn't looked up when she heard that it was just the bathroom door that Patrice was shutting. She should have sensed Patrice's presence standing near her, but Alex was too engaged in her own thoughts. It was Porcelain stirring, sitting up to stare at Patrice, head cocked that brought Alex out of the rhythm of what she was doing. And when she looked up, her breath caught. It was disorienting for a moment--the low light, the closed blinds, and Patrice there with her hair about her shoulders--but Alex focused on the woman in front of her and smiled, only a little sheepishly. "You look beautiful."

Patrice smiled in return, playing along, not wanting to liven the mood too much. She quietly clasped her hands behind her back and looked pointedly at the other blonde. "Do you think your planning might be put on hold for a bit? I think I've learned about all there is to know of the current events in Berkshire county for this week."

Alex only hesitated a fraction of a moment before closing her laptop and putting it aside. Sensing that she was no longer going to be getting attention, Porcelain got off of the bed and padded into the other room. "Of course." Alex pushed a piece of hair behind her ear. "I'm sorry." She uncrossed her legs, tucking one underneath her, but she didn't get up, content for at least a moment to simply take in Patrice looking so simply elegant.

Patrice could feel a blush creeping over her skin as she stood there under Alex's gaze. She resisted the impulse to fidget, or start talking to fill the silence. She smiled; Alex managed to look stunning no matter what she was doing, and now was no exception. Patrice had the impulse to fling herself across the bed and satisfy her desires but waited. They had time, for one more night at least.

The flush only made Patrice's skin glow in in the lamplight, and Alex couldn't resist smiling back, her breath coming sharply with the onset of sudden desire. But the moment was so warm and pleasantly weighted that she kept still. "Come here," she whispered.

Her blush deepened, and Patrice glanced down for a moment before moving around nearer Alex and slipping onto her knees on the bed. She smiled quietly before leaning in, kissing Alex's lips gently, and then leaned back on her heels to look into those flashing blue eyes again, knowing her own were filled with just as much desire.

Drawing in another sharp breath, Alex shifted to run a hand up Patrice's arm to pull down one strap, then repeated the gesture with the other. The touches were idle without being bored; Alex wanted to see Patrice, skin warm in the light, completely naked, but she wanted to take her time.

Patrice felt her skin shiver and goosebumps rising over her arms at Alex's gentle touch. She tried to remain impassive, letting the anticipation build, but she knew that her body was betraying her—the silk of the nightgown was far to thin for anything other than that. She kept quiet and bit back a whimper, letting Alex continue.

Alex smiled as she saw Patrice's nipples harden under the fabric. She didn't touch them, though...no matter how her fingers itched to do just that. Instead, she ran her fingers through Patrice's hair before caressing hr cheek. "Take that off for me..." While the command was soft, Alex's eyes pled.

There was nothing Patrice was more ready to oblige at that moment, but she took a breath, drawing it out as she turned her back to Alex gracefully, moving her hair aside, silently asking Alex to unzip the garment. She could have easily done it herself, but this seemed far more elegant. And Patrice wanted to feel Alex's fingers run down her back.

Alex felt her chest tighten with the weight of her restraint as she carefully pulled the zipper down, letting her fingertips touch Patrice's skin lightly. Once she was done, she leaned forward, placing a feather light kiss between Patrice's shoulders. Patrice shivered almost visibly, skin humming with anticipation. She cast a coy glance over her shoulder at Alex and reached down to grasp the hem of the slip, crossing her arms and removing it in one smooth movement, keeping her back turned to the other woman as she did so.

Alex licked her lips involuntarily. She sat back, appreciating Patrice's back for a moment before reaching out, running her fingers gingerly down the middle. She wanted so much to take Patrice, to pull her back and kiss her neck, to wrap her arms around her, but she waited. "Mm."

Her back arched at Alex's touch, and she couldn't help a small whimper. Patrice cast the garment away, watching it flutter to the floor. She wanted to give in, to beg Alex to touch her but didn't; the anticipation was too delicious to resist, and her pulse was already quickening markedly. And Alex moved her close, her shirt brushing against Patrice's skin as she longed to be undressed. She took Patrice's shoulders firmly in her hands and kissed across them gently.   
"Thank you," she murmured against Patrice's neck.

Patrice smiled, and turned around slowly, hands twisting in the fabric of Alex's shirt. She kissed her, pressing her body against Alex firmly as she did so. She leaned back just a few inches to reply, "No need, I'm glad you could find the time to run away for awhile."

She couldn't resist running her fingers through Patrice's hair, luxuriating in the thick locks. "Mm. I can't believe you let me ignore you so long." She kissed Patrice lightly but lingeringly. "Don't let it happen again."

Patrice laughed quietly, relaxing into the feel of Alex's hands in her hair, "I'll do my best." She leaned back and tugged upward on Alex's shirt.

Alex obliged the motion and pulled her shirt off, following with her bra. She moved slowly still, but she could no longer deny herself the feel of Patrice's skin; so she pulled the blonde close, hands going back to her hair. And Patrice kissed her with more intent now, running her hands up Alex's sides. Her instinct was to push Alex down take her, but shewaited, just enjoying the feel of their skin pressed together, moving softly.

"Patrice," she whispered, her voice laced with desire, with desperation even as her body seemed calm and still. Alex wanted...she wanted Patrice, wanted the quiet moment. She wanted a normalcy that she had not felt since that night, since she was lying on the cold ground. She simply wanted, and she felt free to want while she was there in Patrice's arms.

The pleading tone wasn't lost on Patrice, and she pulled Alex closer, kissing her again, and trailing a hand lower, gently unbuttoning Alex's pants, pushing them down, fingers working around the waist quietly but persistently as Alex arched, pulling her legs out of her pants before pulling Patrice closer, wrapping her legs around her. Alex didn't want to break the moment, didn't want to push through the tension just yet, but she needed the closeness.

She ran a hand through Alex' hair, kissing her softly, deeply. Patrice pushed them down onto the bed without breaking the contact, slowly increasing the rhythm of her kisses, moving to brush her lips over Alex's cheek, her ear, her neck, before returning to her lips.

"Mm." Alex moaned softly into the kiss, arching into Patrice. She ran her fingers down the blonde's back, lingering, kneading her muscles lightly before settling her palms on her hips.

She could feel that Alex was just as aroused as she was, but Patrice wasn't ready to give in just yet. She straightened her arms, taking in the woman under her, smiling. When she couldn't resist it any longer, she began to place kisses over Alex's shoulders, moving lower, across one breast, then to the other.

"God," Alex whispered, fingers finding their way back to Patrice's hair. She shivered and let the situation go, giving over control to the moment. She unwrapped her legs, pressing her thigh between Patrice's lightly, letting her know that she was ready, that the moment would last.

When she felt Alex relax slightly, Patrice shifted, tracing her fingers over Alex's skin, over her stomach, and down her leg, slipping them behind the other woman's knee, pulling it up gently, and moving her legs further apart, settling between them. Alex sighed, eyes fluttered closed as she settled into the position, waiting, content to wait just then. She cupped Patrice's cheek, looking into the blonde's eyes and smiling as she took her in.

Patrice met Alex's sapphire eyes with her own, then returned to her earlier activities, kissing across Alex's stomach and starting to lazily touch her with her fingers, teasing, not wanting to push too fast.

Alex moaned softly and stretched her fingers out over the sheets before grasping them, stretching into Patrice's touch. She smiled, happy with the moment, with the ease between them. Patrice continued to move her lips lower, pausing before slipping down, tongue flicking gently over the other woman's clit, pressing her fingers into her at the same time.

Gasping, Alex arched up into the touch. She let go of the sheets and buried her hands in Patrice's hair, wanting to encourage her. She wanted this...the slow build, the promise of a long release. And Patrice couldn't help but smile slightly as she continued, only marginally faster. She loved to hear Alex, to feel her winding up.

As if she knew that, Alex moaned softly, eyes fluttering open and then close again. She wasn't thinking of the week before, of the week to come. She could feel the sweat on her back, Patrice tongue on her clit... She concentrated on the little touches when she had unzipped Patrice's shift, on the sound it had made coming off of her skin. She was so close.

Patrice's resolve was melting; she wanted to feel Alex come. She increased her pace again, and without thinking started pleading, almost begging, wordless moans as she continued to push into her, not moving her tongue away, not breaking the rhythm.

The moans pushed Alex carefully over that edge. She loved to hear such wordless pleas, and her body tensed around Patrice's fingers in response. "God, Patrice," she moaned, tightening her fingers around strands of Patrice's hair before she began to come down.

Patrice didn't move for several long moments, pushing Alex longer, savoring the moment. When Alex grew still, she quietly kissed her way back up the other blonde's body, settling on the bed next to her, an arm draped lazily around her middle, and she pressed a kiss to her shoulder, letting the silence fall comfortably.

After a deep breath, Alex pulled Patrice into a soft kiss, holding her loosely but close. "Wonderful," she murmured. Alex was not given sentimentality, but she wanted Patrice to know, her eyes expressing more than the words, how satisfied she was.

She lay quietly for a moment, letting Alex drift, enjoying the closeness. Patrice let her fingers idly trail over the other blonde's skin, drawing invisible patterns. She sighed, smiling, "I'm glad you managed to take a break from your work."

Alex propped herself on her elbow and smiled down at Patrice. "Well, you did give me a good reminder that we're enjoying a break." She dipped slightly to kiss Patrice, soft at first before drawing her into it fully.

Patrice moaned quietly, returning the kiss. She could feel herself starting to anticipate, the goosebumps returning to her skin at Alex's touch.

Alex pulled away but only to kiss up Patrice's jaw, moving under her ear, where she nipped gently. "And I do want to thank you properly," she whispered against the blonde's skin.

Patrice wrapped her arms around Alex, smiling up at her. "You do have impeccable manners of course, so please proceed." Her tone was teasing, but she was starting to move under Alex, body betraying its impatience.

As if to illustrate that Patrice was going to have to wait just a little longer, Alex kissed her again softly. She ran a hand down Patrice's side, simply taking in the feel of her soft skin before pressing up her stomach and cupping on of her breasts as she brushed her thumb over the nipple.

She whimpered, and leaned up to try and deepen the kiss. Patrice was caught between wanting release quickly and enjoying the prolonged anticipation. She was already so ready, and Alex was playing her body and mind well. "God Alex..." Patrice breathed against the other woman's lips.

"Mm." She moved to Patrice's other nipple, giving it cursory attention before pressing her hand down Patrice's stomach once again. Alex almost wanted to see Patrice come more than she wanted to see her continued squirming, but she teased the curls between the blonde's legs nonetheless as she ran her fingertips through them, just barely touching Patrice's skin.

Patrice couldn't control herself well under Alex's touch and brought a hand above her head, twisting in the fabric of the pillowcase. She kissed feverishly down Alex's neck, intermittently nipping at her skin, encouraging.

Alex moaned and finally pressed her fingers between Patrice's lips, pressing two inside of her and slowly curling them back. She withdrew a bit, wanting to see Patrice's face clearly.

The blonde had closed her eyes, but now opened them as Alex pressed into her. She let a quiet moan escape when their eyes met, and she was nearly pushed over the edge by Alex's expression, by knowing the other woman was watching her in that moment.

And at that, Alex pressed into Patrice steadily, curling her fingers each time she made to withdraw, and she delighted in simply seeing the blonde's face, in seeing her reactions, no matter how small. But after a time, Alex dipped gracefully, hair falling over her shoulders as she took one of Patrice's nipples into her mouth.

Patrice arched up, reacting automatically to the increased contact. Patrice felt herself losing control, starting to tremble. She reached and twined her fingers through Alex's hair, drawing her up. She wanted to feel the other woman take her completely.

"Kiss me," she pleaded.

Alex ran her fingers through Patrice's hair before gripping it lightly as she kissed her. She pressed the length of her body against Patrice's while she thrust deeply, increasing her rhythm and suddenly brushing her thumb over the blonde's clit.

That was enough. Patrice gave in and her body shook, a deep moan escaping her lips as she pressed the length of her body back against Alex. Her breathing was ragged, and slowed gradually as she finally relaxed.

"Patrice," Alex moaned quietly as she stroked the blonde's hair, lightening her touches as Patrice came down. Finally, she relaxed, lying half on top of Patrice and smiling against the skin of her shoulder.

Patrice wrapped her arms fully around Alex, enjoying the moment, drawing it out. She wasn't ready to admit to herself that they had to go back the next day. She reached down and pulled up the blanket from the foot of the bed, covering them both.

Alex sighed softly as she settled into Patrice's arms again. She felt one of the dogs climb onto the bed and settle there at the end of it, and she was content enough with the picture not to open her eyes to see which it was. Finally, when the moment began to cool and pass, she drew in a breath to speak. "I need to talk to jack...about leaving."

Patrice nodded, eyes still mostly closed. "So you're really serious about this aren't you? You had better let Jack know gently, I doubt he'll be excited to lose you." She squeezed Alex a little tighter, comfortingly.

"Mm." Alex nuzzled Patrice's neck and kissed it gently. "Remarkably, I got along better with Branch. I think Jack will understand, though, and it wouldn't surprise me if SVU was happy to see me go." She closed her eyes to the memories of times when that would not have been so.

Patrice kissed Alex's forehead, letting her lips linger for a moment. She knew Alex was selling herself short, but maybe it made it easier to think of leaving a place with so much history, both good and otherwise. "I'm sure that's not the case Alex." She kissed her again, fingers playing with a few strands of blond hair. Patrice was starting to drift, mildly aware that there was packing to be done for the drive back but decided it could wait until the morning.

Alex tightened her hold on Patrice as she sensed that the other blonde was falling asleep. She smiled contentedly, eyes still closed. "I'll do the driving tomorrow," she whispered, not really knowing if Patrice would hear her or not.


	15. Past

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Summary: Patrice's past becomes very real.
> 
> Disclaimer: Law and Order SVU belongs to Dick Wolf and NBC.
> 
> A/N: In season 7, episode 21 "Web," Kate Mulgrew appeared as AUSA Donna Geysen.
> 
> We would like to note that this fic, as it progresses, is in no way meant to represent an entirely realistic representation of the BDSM Scene. This is a fictionalized, somewhat Romanticized account, in which many of the intricate details are left between the lines. However, despite the poetic license, we hope the portrayal is thoughtful and enjoyable.

Alex looked at the clock only to find that it was just after four. She sighed. She hadn't been this ready to get out of the office since...well since the investigation and the bullshit with Stabler's kid. And that had only been a few weeks before. Pursing her lips, she closed her computer and started to pack up. While she knew Patrice might not appreciate her being early, she decided not to chance sitting there for another half hour--with the way the day had been going, God only knew what could happen between now and then. She headed out, merely glaring at the one intern that dared pass her. When she got to Patrice's building, the receptionist she seemed to have made an impression on was busy with a ringing phone, so she simply went up.

Patrice glanced up as Alex entered her office and quietly put down her pen on the brief she had been editing. The blonde had spent the day getting up to speed on her new case, and was just starting to get a handle on it. Even though the long week was blatantly written across her features, the woman was still stunning, she gave her a crooked smile, standing and crossing the office to give her a peck on the cheek, "Am I running late, or are you early?"

"I couldn't stay in that office one more minute," she replied, ending with a softly chuckle as she sat down. Alex ran her fingers through her hair and let her hand drop in her lap. "I'm not sure what's going on this weekend, but one of the interns spilled coffee on me this morning, and I've been dealing with misplaced files and misheard information and garbled transcripts all day."

Patrice gave her a sympathetic smile and rounded her desk again, already pulling a few things from the various piles, putting them in her briefcase, "I don't blame you; I'm looking forward to getting out of here myself. I got handed a new case today, spent all day working on it." She finished packing up, looking over the folder with her notice in it to make sure it was in order.

"How about we talk about what we're going to get for dinner?"

Patrice pulled her in and kissed her briefly. "Now _that_ sounds like a better topic," Patrice said as Alex sided to her when they left her office. "One thing, though…do you mind if I run this motion to the federal court?"

"Not at all," Alex replied as they stepped into the elevator, a comfortable silence falling between them.

"What are you in the mood for? Besides a shamelessly expensive bar bill that is?" The elevator doors opened and they walked out of the building and onto the street, turning and heading to the federal court.

Alex's hand brushed Patrice's as they walked, but she stopped short of twining their fingers together. "Besides that, I could go for anything really... Isn't there a Thai fusion place near the federal court?"

Patrice smiled slightly at the ground as she felt Alex's skin on hers, enjoying the easy closeness, "Oh, I've seen that place. I've been meaning to try it." They walked up the steps of the court, and Patrice checked her watch, "Good, looks like we're just going to make it." She automatically tossed her briefcase on the x-ray belt as she walked through the scanner, retrieving it, waiting for Alex before making a left turn to the filing windows.

Alex followed suit, pushing back her hair as she glanced around. It wasn't often, if ever, that ended up there. "Mmhm. Glad I left early. So, yeah, I think Thai sounds good."

Patrice quickly pulled out her notice and handed it to the file clerk, taking back her copies. She turned back to Alex, "Do you mind if we run up to the department to take the clerks a courtesy copy if they're still there?"

"Not at all," Alex stepped back. "After you."

Patrice smiled at her and walked across the marble floor to the bank of elevators, hitting the button and waiting by Alex, briefcase in front of her. She wasn't used to this building, and it always surprised her how much newer it felt than the state court. For example, the elevators here actually arrived when you hit the call button, rather than the moment you finally gave up and headed to the stairs. The doors swung open and they rode up to the third floor. "I think it's department 47." Patrice turned right and started looking at the numbers on the doors, already thinking through how much time she was about to have to spend there.

Donna was walking toward the elevators from the other end of the hallway, her head down, focused on what she was reading. Someone was being an idiot, but she wasn't sure if she wanted to bother correcting them that night, or if an email Saturday morning would be a more effective deterrent from future stupidity. Consequently, she didn't see Patrice until she was practically on top of her. She stopped abruptly. "Patrice"

Patrice was reaching for the door of the courtroom when she froze, her folder falling to the floor, the papers fluttering across the marble. She didn't need to turn around; the blond would have recognized that voice anywhere, and it sent a thrill racing through her. It took her a long moment to manage to turn around, trying to speak, but failing miserably, her mouth opening and closing wordlessly several times before any noise would come out. "Donna...."

Donna looked from Patrice to Alex and pushed away her immediate jealously. There was no reason to think that anything was going on between them and even if there were, jealously wasn't her place. "It's good to see you again."

Alex didn't recognize the woman who had spoken, but it was hardly as if she knew every lawyer in the city. She flexed her fingers. Her immediate reaction had been to bend to pick up the papers, but then she had seen Patrice's face. The blond knitted her brows together at that look, at how long it took Patrice to actually speak. A knot began to twist in her stomach, but she tried to push away any assumptions, even though Patrice's face seemed to make them more real.

The papers remained where they were, momentarily forgotten, as Patrice struggled valiantly to pick her chin up off the floor. The immediate rush of surprise was now being replaced by an instinctual need to regain her mental balance. Donna's presence took her back ten years, and for a moment she was that first year associate again, hopelessly smitten with her mentor, seeking for approval and assurance in any way she could. She straightened deliberately and attempted to meet Donna's eyes, though a definite flush in her cheeks belied her false impression of poise, "You too. What are you doing in the city? It's been years since you left for DC."

"New administrations have a way of leading to promotions." Donna was hoping for another one in the next few years, one that require congressional approval. She glanced at the papers on the ground. "Were you planning on re-tiling in paper?"

Alex pursed her lips, jealousy rising instinctively. She tried to push it away, and the result was, unintentionally, her chilliest professional manner. "I don't think we've met." She offered her hand, stepping almost between Patrice and Donna. "Alex Cabot."

"Donna Geysen." She shook Alex's hand, not bothered by her coolness. She no longer had any doubt about the nature of that relationship.

Patrice didn't know whether to apologize for not introducing Alex or to whom the apology should be directed. Instead she just shook her head wordlessly at Donna and started to gather the papers and folder from the floor. She reached out to pick up the last one from in front of Donna's feet as Alex stepped back, and the blond looked up for a moment. That was too much for her overtaxed mind, and Patrice paused just a little too long to be casual, her breath quickening in spite of herself. Donna glanced down at Patrice when she heard her breath hitch. A knot formed in the pit of her stomach. Despite everything, she still enjoyed the sight of Patrice at her feet. It brought back so many good memories.

The knot in Alex's stomach tightened at the sight, and there was absolutely no pushing away the jealousy then. Patrice's pause was too long, and even Alex could clearly hear the quickening of her breath. She knew; she had been in that position, with Patrice looking up into her eyes, almost begging for something. And then it clicked._ Donna_... Alex found herself clenching her teeth as her cheeks colored. She mentally tried to force herself to relax. "A pleasure," she replied, pursing her lips more tightly as she offered a hand up to Patrice.

Patrice took Alex's proffered hand and stood. She looked briefly from one woman to the other, the tension between them was almost palatable in the otherwise empty corridor. Her usual instinct would have been to fill the silence with some inane comment, but the tenor of the moment wouldn't allow it. Instead she shook herself and turned back to the department door, only to find it was locked. Patrice sighed slightly and pulled the courtesy copy of the motion from her file, leaning down to push it under the door like she had done a hundred times before, but today she felt awkward. Her task complete, she turned back to the other women, having recovered enough to form a coherent sentence, she addressed Donna, "Glad to hear it seems you made the right choice leaving, though they never did manage to find someone to replace you." She smiled a little before catching herself and falling silent.

"You know I never really enjoyed private practice." Donna smiled slightly. Oh, she had been successful at it, and she could have kept being successful. But at heart she was too much of an optimist not to be swayed by the hope the new administration offered. She had a weakness for a good cause. "But it's good to hear that I've been missed. Ms. Cabot, what is it that you do?"

Alex shifted, crossing her arms. She was almost glaring, her eyes cold as they bore into Donna. "I'm a prosecutor, Manhattan Special Victims." Perhaps she could acknowledge that she didn't know every lawyer in the city, but her ego was sizable enough to be annoyed, even now, when asked that question, especially in a courthouse. When it came to pissing contests, Alex liked to think she won by default.

Patrice was temped to take a step back to avoid the glare Alex was currently directing at Donna. She searched for a way to amicably end the moment before it got any further. "We... we were just on our way out, but I have a matter pending in this court now, so maybe coffee sometime to catch up?" She knew it was an obvious attempt, but Patrice was beyond trying to be coy.

Alex was about to agree, wholeheartedly about leaving, at least, when she felt her phone buzzing in her coat pocket. Instinctively, she reached for it, hoping it wasn't SVU. She had never believed in Friday the thirteenth superstitions before, but the way the day had been going, especially just then, she was rapidly changing her mind. With a look to Patrice that was something between apologetic and annoyed, she took several steps away from the two women, answering the call. "Cabot...oh for Christ sake..."

Donna raised her eyebrows as Alex stepped away before she turned back to Patrice. "I'd love to get coffee with you sometime soon."

She smiled, nodding, "I'm sure we have a lot to catch up on." Patrice heard Alex's voice grow annoyed and knew they would not be running up that bar bill after all. A slightly awkward silence fell while Patrice waited for Alex to finish her call.

When she hung up, Alex rolled her eyes. "I'm sorry," she said as she walked back to Patrice. Alex deliberately took Patrice's hand, facing her completely. "I have to go back in." and she couldn't really say more than that. While Alex was truly apologetic, she found it hard to keep both her annoyance at the woman standing in front of them and at her detectives out of her voice. "I'll catch up with you later tonight?"

Her stomach fell slightly as Alex delivered the news, even though she knew from the moment the blonde's phone rang what the outcome would be. It was almost presumptuous in their line of work to make plans of any kind. She nodded at Alex, "Sure, give me a call when you're done, I'll probably just head home."

Alex nodded. "Hopefully I won't be too long." Of course, they won't know that would more than likely not be the case. She leaned in, out of pure jealousy and ego, and kissed Patrice a little more than lightly. And when she pulled away, she turned to Donna with a more than pointed look. "It was nice to have met you."

"You as well." Donna nodded to Alex, then, as she left, turned back to Patrice.

Patrice was still a little stunned by Alex's public display, they were generally much more discreet, and in a courthouse even.... she watched Alex walk away for a moment, wondering just what all had happened there.

"As your plans just got canceled, maybe we can have that coffee now? Or dinner?" Donna wondered if Patrice would be able to say no to her.

Patrice knew she should walk away. She should make some excuse, get a sudden headache, or hell, need to 'wash her hair' even. But Patrice just couldn't, not with Donna. Whether it was that she knew Donna could spot BS from a plane in a fog storm, or whether she still hadn't forgotten the sting of the last and only time she had denied the older woman a request she didn't know. All the blonde did know was that she was nodding and following Donna out of the building quite willingly.

"Dinner then. Why don't we go to that new steakhouse around the corner?" She headed in that direction as they left the courthouse.

Patrice just followed, out of old habit she knew Donna wasn't really asking her opinion on the matter. The older woman probably already had her mind made up about what she was going to order too. The blonde hazarded a lingering glance over at her companion, and felt even more amazed they had met again. Though her hair was longer, and her features less sharp, it was definitely the same woman, but she had an even stronger presence now, bolder even. They reached the restaurant and were led to a corner booth. Patrice picked up the menu and pretended to read it intently.

Donna glanced over her own menu, her mind already made up. When the waiter came back, she ordered a bottle of wine for the both of them, and then turned to Patrice. "So, how have you been?"

She put down the menu, finally looking at Donna. She knew Donna wanted to know about Alex, but she took the easy road first. "Well, good, I guess. It's been what? Four years? I'm in the criminal defense section at Bingham and Levin; they work me hard but the cases are high profile." She was grateful when the waiter returned with the wine and watched as he poured a small amount into Donna's glass for her to approve.

Donna inhaled the scent of the wine, and then tasted it, nodding in approval, both at the wine and Patrice's current career trajectory. "I'm glad you're finding success." If she had other thoughts about working Patrice hard, she let them go.

As her glass was filled, Patrice took a long sip, "And yourself?"

"I've just taken over at Executive AUSA. I've been in the city for about a month and a half."

She couldn't hold back her obvious admiration, "Wow, that's impressive to say the least." She took another sip, "Not that I'm surprised, you always did manage to get what you wanted."

"Thank you." Donna smiled. "So... Alex?" She wasn't going to dance around it.

Patrice looked down for a minute, collecting her thoughts, she was tempted to evade the question, but Donna always had a way of seeing through her. "She's.... we're... new. I do like her quite a bit, though she's complex to say the least." Patrice new it was a vague explanation, but it was the best she could do at the moment

Donna nodded. "She seemed a bit... possessive." And she wondered just how far that extended, what exactly the nature of their relationship was. She hoped it was flexible enough to include her, at least temporarily.

Patrice blushed, she had honestly been surprised at Alex's earlier reaction, and could only conclude that what little she had let on of her past with Donna was enough to spark insecurity in the other blonde. The thought worried Patrice, though their time had thus far been short, she was really growing to care about Alex, and didn't want to hurt her. However, Donna wasn't just any ex, and Patrice was sure Alex could tell. She knew better than to give Donna a less-than-genuine response, "Yes, she did I suppose. I think you might have brought it out in her."

"Me?" Donna was only partially feigning surprise. "She knows then?"

"We haven't discussed much, but she may have put two and two together." Patrice couldn't remember just how much she had let on about Donna to Alex, but by the blonde's reaction earlier, it had been more than enough to put Alex on the offensive.

Donna sipped her wine, letting it rest in her mouth for a moment before she swallowed and spoke. "Well, I hardly think that I'm a threat." There were reasons why their relationship hadn't worked out. She was finding it hard to remember those reasons but that didn't mean they would suddenly get along perfectly.

Patrice felt her stomach drop slightly at those words. She knew it was presumptuous to believe that she had had the same lasting effect on Donna that Donna had on her, but still something within her psyche was hurt to hear the other woman speaking so casually. When Donna had walked out it had left a gaping void for Patrice, one she had never brought herself to truly fill. Over time she had convinced herself that she didn't need or want another Donna, but still.... she was finding the past not so easily buried.

She took another sip of her wine, mind reeling a bit, "I suppose not." Patrice was now fairly sure dinner was a mistake; at least without Donna there she could pretend she had moved on completely. "What about you? Is work still your life?" She wasn't sure she was really ready to hear the answer to that, but her mind was rebelling against her better judgment tonight.

"Always." Donna shook her head slightly. "You know how I am," she said ruefully. There weren't many things that could pull her away. Sometimes it felt like she was lost in the middle of nowhere and the only thing that was still familiar was the work. Patrice had managed to distract her from it for a while, but it always won in the end. Still, there were times when she longed for that escape. She played with her wine glass, not quite able to look Patrice in the eye.

Patrice nodded, about to ask if she had been replaced over the years, when the waiter arrived. She sighed and ordered something from the middle of the menu, not having been able to pay enough attention to it to really care. When he left, she turned back to Donna, "Are you here permanently then? Or are you headed back to DC eventually?"

"Unless something happens, I'm here for at least a few years." Donna leaned back in her chair. "After that," she shrugged, "who knows? So, what are your plans?"

Patrice got her bearings back slightly and managed a slight smirk, "For tonight? Or are you asking more generally?"

"I was asking generally, but we can start with tonight, if you like." Donna smirked.

She choked a little, not sure quite what she was saying, or why. For some reason at that moment she wanted, no needed, to know that Donna still would want to be with her, even if only for a night. When she was with Donna, what mistakes she made during the day were absolved once and for all at night. Now she had to live with the mistakes, the guilt, and it was wearing on her. "Tonight, well.... I was hoping you'd be able to give me some direction there."

Dona's smirk spread. "I can give you all sorts of directions. The question is, is that what you really want?"

She felt a shiver run through her at Donna's sure tone. The blonde paused to consider, but knew her subconscious had decided tonight's outcome the second she had heard that voice, "Yes."

Donna smiled. "After dinner then." She was already anticipating the rest of the night. Her fingers almost itched with the desire to pull down Patrice's hair.

Patrice just nodded, the anticipation was growing and she quietly touched the small pendant around her neck, feeling a thrill go through her as she thought of the last time Donna had removed it quietly, replacing it with a supple leather band, as had been their ritual for so many years. The food arriving finally snapped her back out of her memories, and she was relieved to see she had managed to order something appetizing after all.

Donna started cutting into her steak intently. Dinner had just become a formality, a precursor to the rest of the night. She brushed the toe of her shoe against Patrice's calf.

She picked up her fork to begin and couldn't hide that she was shaking slightly. It was not the first time Donna had that effect on her, nor, she now realized with a shiver, would it be the last. She began to eat her pasta, but dropped her fork when she felt the other woman's touch under the table. The silverware clattered on the plate, and she made a desperate attempt to try and look casual, failing miserably. She groaned, and tried to steady her hands and eat, racking her mind for something casual to say, "So, where are you living now?"

Donna chuckled when Patrice dropped her fork. "I'm still looking for a place. Right now I'm living out of the hotel in the Trump tower."

The blonde paused, a bite of ravioli part way to her mouth, "Oh. That.. that must be more than adequate I'd presume." The images now flashing through her mind were not helping her remain in control in the slightest, and she set about finishing her meal efficiently.

"If I could stay there forever, I would, but I just can't justify it to myself. I will say, there's nothing better than having coffee delivery. I think I know everyone on the room service staff." Donna took a few more bites of her steak before she put her fork down and finished her wine.

Patrice stopped a few moments after, smiling at Donna across the table, that was one thing they had agreed on, any time was a good time for a coffee. Well, just about any time. "So all the necessities then? I'll admit I might as well sell my condo and just get a room someplace for the amount of time I actually spend there. It seems like a waste really."

"Well, I can't cook, but I don't do that anyway." Donna smiled and flagged down the waiter.

Patrice excused herself, and tried her best to walk away from the table without belying her anticipation. She stepped into the restroom, closing the door to block out the din of the restaurant. Patrice faced herself in the mirror, taking stock of herself as had been her habit. The blonde took a few breaths, trying to clear her mind, wanting to make a rational decision without Donna looking at her. Her own icy blue eyes looked back a her, unblinkingly. She straightened, smoothing her skirt, noticing that her hands had stopped trembling, and knowing her mind was made up. She gave herself one last look before turning and heading back to the table where she knew Donna would be waiting for her, just like she used to.

Donna was, indeed, waiting for Patrice when she returned to the table. She had already signed the check and she stood as Patrice approached. "Ready to go?"

The blonde nodded, and moved for the exit, threading a path through the tables and dodging waiters. She reached the street and turned to Donna, "Shall we take a cab? Or are we close enough from here to walk?"

"Let's get a cab." She was already hailing one. "It's a little too far to walk in these shoes."

She slid into the cab after Donna, consciously crossing her ankles, sitting a polite distance from the other woman as the cab pulled out toward the hotel. "Are you here on a specific case?" Patrice was hoping her matter with the Feds wouldn't now get complicated. She wasn't about to tell Dan Levin why she had to give the case to another attorney.

"No, nothing specific. Right now I'm just supervising, getting a feel for the office." Donna looked at the buildings they were passing, anticipating the moment when the cab would stop. She reached over and trailed her fingers over the back of Patrice's hand.

The blonde shivered and bit her lip, feeling her stomach quicken at Donna's touch. Thankfully, the driver pulled up in front of the hotel just as she had to swallow back a light whimper. Patrice opened the door and nearly tumbled out of the cab, standing for a moment to wait for Donna, before following her into the lobby.

Donna turned toward the elevators and pressed the button. It was there almost immediately. She stepped in and waited for Patrice to follow her before she pressed the button for her floor. "Nervous?"

Patrice took a moment to answer. The truth would make her sound weak, while any other answer she knew Donna would see right through. She took a breath, "Yes, but not unsure."

Donna nodded. "It's been a while." She reached over and took Patrice's hand, lifting it to her lips and kissing the back. She dropped it as the elevator doors opened and pulled out her room key.

Patrice followed after, her eyes trained on Donna's heels, mind starting to soften around the edges. She replied quietly, "Yes it has. I've missed it, more than I think I knew actually." When Donna unlocked the door she felt her pulse increase, but she willed herself to keep her gaze lowered.

Donna pulled off her coat and tossed it over the back of a nearby chair. She stood in front of Patrice, looking up into her eyes. "I've missed you." Donna cupped her face and leaned in to kiss her gently. They'd get to more demanding things later.

Patrice moaned a little into the kiss, letting it linger as long as Donna would allow it. She let a hint of a smile pass over her features, "I'm glad you ran into me tonight."

"So am I." Donna unbuttoned Patrice's coat, letting the backs of her fingers rest against Patrice's stomach as she did. Once it was unbuttoned, she slid it off of her shoulders and placed it next to her own. Her fingers were tingling and she was trying hard to control her breathing.

Patrice felt her body respond to Donna's deliberate touches, her stomach was churning, and her breath was quickening. She laced her fingers together behind her back to keep them still as she waited for Donna's direction. Donna didn't like it when Patrice fidgeted, and had broken her of the habit early on. The older woman had corrected such of Patrice's flaws systematically and firmly, and the lessons stuck in court as well as after hours.

Donna started unbuttoning Patrice's shirt, smiling slightly as her fingers finally touched the other woman's skin. It was as a soft and smooth as she remembered. "I don't really have anything with me." She hadn't been expecting this sort of encounter before she had a chance to find a place to live. "So you're just going to have to be very good, where I don't miss what I don't have."

The blonde's skin prickled with anticipation where Donna touched her. She nodded at the ground, "I'll try." She would have said "I will," but she wasn't in the position to be making promises she wasn't sure she could keep.

Donna pushed Patrice's shirt off of her shoulders and down her arms, drawing it off of her slowly. "I'm sure you're more than capable."

She glanced at Donna, giving her a slightly sheepish smile. The older woman had such a natural elegance to her actions that had always made Patrice enamored of her. She found herself worrying for a moment if she was still capable; it had been so long. Goosebumps now covered her fair skin, though she was vaguely aware it was not cold in the room. She lowered her head again and nodded, "I hope so," was all she was able to reply.

"Shhh." Donna leaned in and kissed Patrice again, then she placed Patrice's shirt with her jacket and turned to look at her. It was so hard to decide what to do next, remove her skirt or take down her hair. Donna had never really had the patience to let someone else undress her, but it was something she enjoyed forcing Patrice to suffer through. Each move was deliberate, designed to make her wait just a little longer than she wanted.

Patrice hands were beginning to sweat with the strain of keeping them behind her, knuckles growing whiter by the second. She tried to let out a breath, but it caught in her throat when she noticed Donna contemplating her next move. Patrice forced her shoulders back, standing straighter for the other woman to appraise. She knew Donna enjoyed these moments of anticipation, and though her mind was screaming for release, Patrice secretly appreciated them as well.

The skirt first. Definitely the skirt first. Donna stepped close again, her arms circling Patrice as she slowly unzipped her skirt. It always amazed her just how much taller than her Patrice was. She never though of herself as particularly short, and she liked to imagine that no one else dared. It left her at just the right height to kiss across Patrice's collarbone while her fingers worked. Once the skirt was loose enough, she let it fall to the floor.

She couldn't help a whimper as she felt the material slip to the ground. The blonde stiffened instinctively, four years ago such a loss of control at this moment would have earned her a swift correction, especially if Patrice already had something to atone for, but now she couldn't read Donna as easily.

Donna merely chuckled at Patrice's loss of control. She would remember it later, but for now she had other plans. She circled Patrice, noting the changes, what was different and what had stayed the same. The four years looked good on the younger woman, probably better than they looked on her. And there was more confidence there, even if Patrice wasn't displaying it at the moment. Behind her now, Donna reached up and unhooked her bra.

She shivered again, and arched her back slightly, skin tingling with the brush of Donna's fingers on her back. Patrice's heartbeat was rising in her ears, waiting, wondering how different tonight would be. She knew that time changed things, though she believed that the people themselves remained the same at their most basic level. They must, she mused, otherwise why wouldn't she have just refused Donna tonight and waited for Alex to call? She shook the thought away as Donna's breath on her bare skin brought her back to the moment.

Donna pushed Patrice's bra off, then leaned in and placed a kiss between her shoulder blades. This was as torturous for her as it was for Patrice and part of her longed to simply pull the other woman into a hard kiss and then push her down onto the bed. Instead, she reached up and unclasped Patrice's necklace. She didn't have anything to replace it with, but it was too much of a routine for her to ignore it. She carefully redid the clasp and put it on the desk. "Take your stockings off." She wouldn't give Patrice the satisfaction of feeling her hands on the length of her legs. And she didn't trust her own resolve.

The moment Donna undid the fine gold chain from around her neck; Patrice's control began to melt. She had to close her eyes to ground herself enough to slide her stockings down, lifting each leg in turn to remove them. It was a practice in balance and control, and it had taken Patrice several encounters with the older woman before she had learned to complete this seemingly simple task to the satisfaction of her mentor. When she had finished, she stood again, placing her hands quietly behind her back again.

Donna smiled faintly, the most expression she would allow herself, and then kissed Patrice again. "Good girl." Panties or hair. This time the choice wasn't as hard. She reached up and started removing the pins that held Patrice's hair up. She enjoyed the way it felt against her fingers and she took her time, drawing it out as much as possible.

Donna's fingers in her hair elicited a low moan from the blonde's lips. She felt her locks fall slowly over her shoulders, longer now than the last time Donna had let them down. God, she loved it when the brunette got to this moment. There was something comforting about the action, but with a definite possessive connotation, and it made Patrice willing to do anything to please her.

Donna indulged herself, running her fingers through Patrice's hair, letting it slide between her fingers and over her wrists. She used it to pull Patrice down into the kiss she had been waiting for, long and deep and slow. Once Donna had thoroughly kissed her, she let her go again. "Kneel."

Patrice closed her eyes when Donna kissed her, and felt herself coming undone. At Donna's next command she whimpered slightly, pausing to try and regain some sliver of control as the past washed over her. Patrice took a breath, gracefully sinking to the floor in front of the older woman in a long practiced manner, both knees at once, keeping her shoulders back, and her head down.

She went back to running her fingers through Patrice's hair, contemplating what to do with her next. It was incredibly hard not to rush. She kept petting Patrice. "What do you want me to do with you?" She gently tilted Patrice's chin up, forcing her to look at her.

She held Donna's gaze, lost for a moment, before thinking of a reply. "I want to... I want you to make me forget what I've had to do, what I've had to say." She fell silent, thinking before revealing the rest of her desires, "I want to know I can still please you." In truth, she wanted what she had spoken aloud, and further, she wanted to let go of her control in the most basic way possible. She wanted to follow Donna, to make life simpler again.

"You never stopped being able to please me." Why was she always attracted to the complicated ones? Complicated and doomed. Donna hoped that Patrice hadn't become the latter. She'd never told Patrice about Justin, which seemed odd in light of how long they'd known each other, but this wasn't the time for confessions. This was a much about forgetting for her as it was for Patrice. "Stand up." If they had had all of the time in the world, she'd have made Patrice kneel there until her knees were sore and legs started shaking, she would have been there hours before Donna had even shown up, but they didn't have that kind of time.

Patrice stood, ashamed that her hands had started to tremble again, though she kept them tightly clasped behind her. She drew herself to her full height, and while she stood several inches taller than Donna, the other woman's aura cast a shadow over her. She was breathing more heavily now, anticipating.

Donna trailed her fingers down Patrice's stomach and over the front of her panties. She could feel heat and dampness but she only lingered for a moment. It had been so long. Her breath caught and her restraint started to slip. She pulled away sharply. "Go lie down."

The blonde's breath quickened at the touch, and then was lost altogether for a moment at the command. She did as she was told, however, crossing the large room and slipping onto the bed, laying back and propping herself on her elbows. Had tonight been one of their past encounters, Patrice might have hesitated longer, been more petulant, tested Donna to give her an excuse to put her in her place. But such games hadn't seemed right, not at that moment anyway.

"Take your panties off." Donna settled into a chair that faced the bed and crossed her legs.

Patrice locked eyes with Donna for a moment, deciding whether to test her, see if she had changed. She slipped her fingers slowly under the waistband and lifted her hips off the bed, pushing the bit of silk and lace down. She leaned over to remove them completely before reaching out her arm and dropping them on the ground next to the bed, raising an eyebrow slightly at Donna.

Donna raised her eyebrows in response. "We can sit here all night." It wouldn't be very enjoyable, but she could do it.

Patrice couldn't help a small growl, part of frustration, but mostly of arousal, as she fixed her expression and lay back, casting her eyes down again. She knew Donna was telling the truth. On a few particularly tumultuous nights Patrice could remember the sun rising outside of the windows before she had been allowed off her knees, while Donna had simply waited for her to control her demons.

She chuckled at the growl. "You've gotten impatient over the last four years." Donna flipped on the lights next to the bed and turned off the rest of them.

Raising her chin slightly, Patrice tried to give off a sense of confidence, though she was rapidly losing control. She knew Donna was right, and that the woman could read her like a book, but she didn't want to give her an answer. Patrice watched as Donna shut off the lights, plunging the rest of the room into shadows, leaving her nothing to focus on but herself, Donna, and the almost painful sense of need that was creeping through her body.

Donna settled into the chair again, reclining into the shadows. She knew that Patrice wouldn't be able to see her easily and that it would be much more disconcerting than a simple blindfold. "I want to watch you touch yourself."

Patrice stiffened, Donna was testing her resolve, how much she was willing to put into tonight. The older woman knew that her request was one that the blond had always struggled with herself over, and Patrice knew that was exactly why Donna had done it. She looked in the direction of the voice, now only being able to make out the speaker's silhouette, and let out a shaky breath, moving a hand down her stomach.

Donna waited. She wasn't sure just how far she was going to make Patrice go. It was more about her willingness to submit than the actual act and it was far too early in the evening to grant her any sort of release.

Biting her lip, Patrice trailed her hand lower, bringing the other up to touch her breasts. She closed her eyes, but the lights by the bed kept her acutely aware that she was on display. The blond began to slowly draw her fingers between her legs, a small gasp escaping as she realized how little it would take to pus her over the edge at that moment.

Donna swallowed past the knot of desire in her throat. Just because this was a test didn't mean that she wasn't enjoying herself. She shifted in her seat. Patrice would be able to hear the fabric of her clothing scratching against the chair, but she didn't care. She took a deep breath to steady herself.

Donna's movement was only slightly audible to Patrice over the sound of her own racing pulse. The blond opened her mouth slightly, breathing in rhythm with her own movements, and opened her legs a little further, pushing herself slowly closer.

The brunette couldn't stop herself. She wanted to touch Patrice so badly. Perhaps she would punish her for it later, for being so tempting. Right now, she was more interested in getting her clothing off where she could feel Patrice's skin next to hers. It had been far too long for her stop herself. She pulled her shirt over her head as she stood and managed to get her pants off in the few steps to the bed. She tried to slow down, knew that she looked more in control than she felt as she slid onto the bed next to Partice and kissed her.

Patrice's eyes fluttered open as she heard Donna stand and cross the room. Her hands stilled, but her breath continued to quicken. As she felt the other woman's skin on hers, she whimpered, moving her hands down and grasping the comforter tightly to keep from pulling Donna over her. The blond parted her lips as the brunette kissed her, allowing her to claim her fully.

Donna kissed her ferociously, settling above her, touching as much of Patrice's skin as she could as quickly as possible. There was nothing nuanced about it. It was the opposite of everything that had come before.

The blonde lost what little control she may have been clinging to and moaned loudly into the kiss. She was totally unprepared, and her hands let go of the cloth, and before she could stop herself, she was reaching up to touch Donna, pulling her closer, fingernails running along the skin of her back.

Donna moaned in return and pressed closer to Patrice. She was definitely getting punished for this later. Right now, she was too distracted to care. She didn't mind the fingernails on her back in the least and arched into Patrice's hands. Maybe there was some part of both of them that needed this, needed to just let everything go in order to figure it all out again later. She touched Patrice's breasts roughly, covering them with her palms and squeezing.

"Oh God..." She dug her nails into the small of the other woman's back as Donna continued to take her. Instinctively, she threaded their legs together, holding the length of Donna to her, and began to move against her, seeking as much contact as she could.

"You know I'm going to punish you for that later," Donna breathed against Patrice's neck but she didn't do anything to stop her. She just pushed closer and bent her head to take one of Patrice's nipples into her mouth.

"Yes Donna. I deserve it." The rest of her words trailed off into a whimper as she felt the brunette's lips on her chest. She was squirming uncontrollably under the other woman, getting close to release even just at the touch of Donna's leg between hers.

Even with all of the time between them, Donna could tell that Patrice was close. She wrenched her leg away and replaced it with her hand. "You're going to have to apologize profusely," she murmured around Patrice's nipple.

She spoke through labored breaths, "I....I....will...please..." Her back arched up and the blond's legs began to shake. She shuddered, and couldn't help reaching behind Donna's neck, pulling her down and kissing her as she stiffened and her breath caught in her throat.

Donna kept kissing Patrice, kept touching her. She pressed as tightly against the other woman as she could, nodding her assent. God, she was already looking forward to Patrice's apology.

Patrice's breathing slowly steadied, and she relaxed into the bed, enjoying Donna's touch. As she calmed, other thoughts began to take over, knowing she had misbehaved badly. Her remorse and embarrassment over her lack of control was tinged with a new anticipation, and she looked up at Donna, trying to read what her next directions would be.

Donna kissed Patrice gently, letting her regain her equilibrium for a moment. She stroked the side of her face, trying to wipe away the embarrassment she knew Patrice was feeling. "That was quite a display." One that she had fully encouraged.

"Yes... I'm sorry... I don't know why.." Patrice nodded and looked down, this was the second time in a row she had lost control. Granted, the first was with Alex, and differences were to be expected with new people, but with Donna... she mentally cringed. Maybe she had lost the ability, and for some reason that bothered her though she knew it shouldn't.

Donna ran her fingers through Patrice's hair again. "You should stop beating yourself up over it. That's what I'm here for, after all." She smirked. "Now, why don't you figure out a way to make it up to me before we get to that beating."

Patrice was relieved that Donna still seemed to have faith in her. What's more, she could tell by the older woman's tone that she was enjoying herself. Patrice shifted from under her, moving to kiss the other woman's neck before leisurely moving her lips lower, taking each nipple in her mouth in turn. Hearing Donna's breath quicken, Patrice slid quietly to her knees on the floor facing the bed. She reached out to touch one of Donna's legs, encouraging her to move closer.

In her purse, Patrice's phone began to vibrate. Alex paced as she waited for a cab, growing more annoyed, more--she hated to admit--jealous with every ring. She felt her jaw clench when the voicemail greeting began to play. By the beep, she was giving the cabbie her address. "It's Alex," she said into the phone as she closed her door, "I thought we could grab a late dinner if you hadn't gone already. I suppose you had other plans." She thought about adding that she was headed home, but instead, she hung up, letting the phone fall to her lap as she squeezed the bridge of her nose, trying to push the jealousy away.

Donna slid toward Patrice, happy to encourage her further. She's punish her properly in a minute, but right now she simply wanted to enjoy herself.

She smiled a little, settling between Donna's legs. God, it had been a long time since she'd last been with Donna, but touching her was like coming home. Patrice leaned up and kissed her gently, before sliding back down, leaving a string of kisses down her body, ending between her legs, and started to lick her, slowly at first, letting the tempo build.

Donna moaned and spread her legs farther apart. She tangled her fingers in Patrice's hair, not caring too much if it got pulled in the process. "God, that's perfect." Her whole body was warming, flushing under Patrice's ministrations.

Encouraged by Donna's touch and voice, Patrice kept her hands on the ground, allowing the other woman's fingers to hold her there, bringing her closer, pushing her tongue deeper, faster.

Donna squirmed under Patrice's tongue. Her body was starting to tense. Just a bit more... Donna curled forward lightly as her muscles contracted and as they relaxed she was left panting, trying to catch her breath.

Patrice slowed, drawing the last shudders from the brunette, then moved to kiss the inside of her thigh gently, taking a moment to quietly slide her hands up Donna's toned legs, quieting her. She didn't get up, but stayed at Donna's feet, waiting, enjoying the moment of content silence.

Finally, Donna managed to take a deep breath. She sat up as her head cleared and her muscles started working again. "Well, I certainly feel atoned to." She took another deep breath and ran her fingers through Patrice's hair.

She looked up at Donna, lips still pressed to the brunette's leg. "So is my apology accepted then?"

"Of course it is." Donna leaned down and kissed the top of Patrice's head. "But I believe I said something about punishment."

Patrice felt her stomach twist with anticipation; she leaned back on her heels, nodding quietly, "Yes Donna."

"So, what do you think is appropriate?" Donna knew that Patrice would be harder on herself than she would be, and she wanted to see just how creative Patrice could be. It wasn't as if she could pull a whip or paddle from thin air and they didn't have the time for Donna to deny her sex for the next week. And she knew that the answer would give her some insight into just ho guilty Patrice was feeling, just how badly she wanted to forget.

She knew she should tell Donna to send her home, that would be the worst punishment of all, to have to be alone with her thoughts. However, she couldn't bring herself to ask for that, at that moment it would be too much. She settled on a more suited punishment, "Over your lap. Until I'll feel it tomorrow." Had it been an option, she would have asked for a whipping, or something harder. However, what she had chosen had an even more humiliating connotation for her, she had always resented the position, feeling like a child, and out of control. Something about it seemed fitting for her earlier loss of poise.

Donna only just managed to stop herself from raising her eyebrows. She knew how much Patrice disliked the position; it was something that Donna had normally reserved for when she was being particularly petulant. "Okay." She sat up straighter and rubbed her thighs, motioning for Patrice to get up.

Patrice stood, trying her best to maintain her posture. She had chosen the punishment, and now she wasn't going to shy away from it. Patrice felt she had a lot of wrongs to be absolved since last she had been with Donna, professionally, personally, and morally.

Donna tugged Patrice down over her lap, one hand already stroking her ass. "Do you want me to hold your wrists?"

She whimpered at the question, bringing her hands up. She was giving up her last shred of control to Donna, but she knew it was part of what she had been seeking in coming here.

Gently, Donna drew her arms behind her back and used her free hand to hold them there. She took a few calming breathes, making sure she was ready before she started. It was a ritual, and one that would telegraph her actions to Patrice, but this wasn't about catching her off guard or tricking her. The first few blows were light, intended to do little more than sting while she warmed her arm up and let Patrice get used to everything again.

She let out a breath, calming her mind and forcing herself to relax. As the blood rushed to her head, she flashed back to six years earlier, after she'd missed a deadline. It hadn't been a large setback, but she had beaten herself up mentally more than a little. Donna had seen right through her facade, and had literally knocked some sense back into her. She felt her skin warming, and knew Donna wouldn't let her go easily this time either.

Donna settled into a rhythm, wondering just how long Patrice would hold out. She couldn't help but smile a little as Patrice's ass turned a lovely shade of red.

Donna was precise and firm, and Patrice knew she would continue until she was satisfied that the blond had let go of her demons. As Donna continued, Patrice felt that familiar feeling of her worries and guilt leaving her. It was now being replaced by renewed arousal, building slowly this time, creeping up on her. She was only slightly cognizant of the low whimpers that she was starting to make.

Donna are acutely aware of the whimpers, but she didn't let up. Patrice would let her know when she had had enough. The white outline of her hand was becoming more pronounced and she was smiling slightly.

She was fast reaching the point where the stinging in her skin was erasing her guilt, where she would allow herself to let it go. Her whimpers became more audible, and she began a mantra of apologies. She wasn't sure what for exactly, for the criminals she knew were free because of her billable hours, for the mistakes she had made, for the people she had let fade from her life, or....and this thought flashed the strongest... for Alex, for the hurt she would could cause if she let her get too close, and couldn't be what she deserved. In spite of herself, she felt a few tears fall from her eyes, soaking into the carpet quickly.

Donna only half listened to Patrice's litany of apologies, paying more attention to her tone, and to her body than her words. Part of her wondered just what Patrice was trying to prove but she knew that she would probably never know. She watched the tears hit the carpet and slowed her rhythm. They were almost done and Patrice was definitely going to be feeling it the next day.

Her apologies reached a crescendo, and then faded. Patrice took a deep breath, and her muscles relaxed. She whispered a final, "I'm sorry....," then fell silent, mind finally quiet, her body molded around Donna's lap.

Donna let her hand rest against the tops of Patrice's thighs. She let go of her wrists and let Patrice rest there for as long as she wanted. She rubbed Patrice's back and murmured words of praise and encouragement.

Patrice lay still for a moment, enjoying Donna's touch. She let her hands reach for the ground, feeling her shoulders crack and stretch as she released the last of the tension. "Thank you..." Her words were quiet, but sure.

Donna rubbed her back firmly. "You're welcome." She moved her arms where Patrice could get up.

Patrice slid off of Donna's lap, and sat by her on the bed quietly. It had been a long time, and she wasn't entirely sure what Donna expected of her now. She leaned over and kissed the other woman's neck gently.

Donna leaned into the kiss, putting an arm around Patrice. "Do you feel better now?"

She shifted gingerly, knowing she would have a constant reminder of tonight for the next few days. Patrice nodded slowly, "yes. I'm not sure I knew how much I needed tonight." She stood and crossed the room, retrieving the necklace, and returning to kneel in front of Donna, holding out the chain for the older woman to replace. Though she was sanguine, she couldn't help but shiver slightly as she always used to at this moment. It was Donna who decided when they would begin, and Patrice who decided when she was ready to conclude each encounter. A few tears threatened to rise again out of nostalgia when the blond thought back through the years to the last time she had waited quietly for this moment.

Donna took the necklace, but didn't unclasp it right away. First, she leaned in and kissed Patrice gently. If this was good-bye, she wanted it to be far less tumultuous than their last one. Once the kiss ended, she replaced the necklace and leaned back. Patrice could get dressed on her own. "I hope Alex won't be too upset with you."

Donna's hesitation wasn't lost on Patrice, and she smiled at her knowingly before standing and gathering her clothes. Donna's words hit her, and she paused, her clothes half on. She turned back to Donna, "I hope so too. I hope she can understand." With that, she finished dressing and walked to the door, glancing back when she reached it, "Thank you for tonight." She smiled at the floor, then up at Donna, "And can I still buy you that coffee soon?"

Donna had pulled on a robe while Patrice was getting dressed. "You're welcome. And I'd love to get that coffee with you."

She smiled again, "Goodnight Donna." Patrice closed the door behind her and walked down the hall, pulling her phone out by habit as she went.

The phone buzzed in Patrice's hand, blinking to indicate that not only had there been a missed call but a message had also been left. Patrice called her voicemail, listening to Alex's message while she waited for the elevator. At the sound of her voice, she felt a sinking feeling in her stomach. She couldn't bring herself to return the call right then, not at this hour, and not in Donna's hotel. Patrice rode the elevator down, and took a cab home. She walked into her apartment and went to bed, not even taking time to prepare for the next day. That night she slept like she hadn't in years, her dreams only slightly haunted by thoughts of Alex as her mind took its own time to ponder, trying to make sense of life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Backstory:
> 
> Patrice learned a lot from Donna Geysen.
> 
> [Protégé](http://archiveofourown.org/works/55722)


	16. Interlude

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Summary: When Patrice wakes up, she realizes she needs to call Alex.
> 
> Disclaimer: Law and Order SVU belongs to Dick Wolf and NBC.
> 
> A/N: We would like to note that this fic, as it progresses, is in no way meant to represent an entirely realistic representation of the BDSM Scene. This is a fictionalized, somewhat Romanticized account, in which many of the intricate details are left between the lines. However, despite the poetic license, we hope the portrayal is thoughtful and enjoyable.

Patrice opened her eyes the next morning, and immediately started to panic. It wasn't brought on my her activities the previous night or a particularly vivid dream, it was the simple fact that it was light outside and she wasn't already at work. She started, making to run out of bed and nearly succeeded before realizing it was Saturday. She relaxed, then got up more leisurely, remembering she wasn't due in until ten for trial prep. A thought struck her and she reached for her phone on the nightstand, knowing she owed it to Alex to call her back, and by the light of day she was more prepared to do so.

As was her habit, Alex answered quickly without looking at the caller ID. She would be lying if she said she wasn't hoping it was Patrice, but she feigned otherwise. "Cabot."

Patrice couldn't help a smile when she heard Alex's voice, but it faded as she wondered what Alex's reaction would be, "Alex, it's Patrice." She waited for a reply, hoping Alex still wanted to talk to her.

There was a pause. Alex had gone through a whole litany of things she wanted to say, thought she would say, and decided she needed to say that night when she couldn't sleep. All of that was gone, replaced by a desire to push it all away, to either ignore it or move on. She had seen the way Patrice paused on her knees in front of Donna. She knew what that meant. Loss, Alex knew, was the cost of wanting things. "Hello."

Patrice bit her lip as Alex took a moment too long to answer to be casual. She could tell Alex knew why she hadn't answered her phone last night, or at least had a pretty good idea. Patrice knew she owed it to Alex to be direct. "I'm sorry I didn't pick up last night. I ended up having dinner with Donna." She meant to go on, but wasn't sure she could bring herself to say any more over the phone, and she didn't know if Alex would want to hear it. She waited, hoping Alex wouldn't be too upset.

"It was nearly midnight when I called you," Alex replied. She could hear her cool tone as if she were someone else. Had she not asked Patrice to suffer the same with her relationship to Liz? Alex was pursing her lips, trying rationalize the disconnect.

Patrice mentally grimaced and looked at the ground. What had made her think Alex was that stupid? There was no use now in trying to smooth it over, she would just have to fess up and hope Alex could understand. "I ended up spending some time with her after. Fallout from the past I think." Her voice was low, apologetic. As a less-than-comforting afterthought she wondered if it meant something that Alex seemed to care where she had been at midnight.

"Okay." What else could she say? The apology in Patrice's tone tugged at Alex's conscience, but her own displeasure still clouded her mind. Alex was torn and surprised by the vehemency of her jealousy, by how quickly and how strongly feelings for Patrice had taken hold. She forced herself to step away from them, but they followed her. "I hope you enjoyed yourself," she said after a pause that was a beat too long.

That hurt, but it was more the tone of Alex's voice than the words themselves. Patrice hung her head, free hand running through her hair worriedly. "I'm sorry Alex." It was all she could think to say at that moment. She meant it, perhaps not for the night generally but definitely for any hurt is caused Alex. The next words out of her mouth were going to be an invitation to dinner or to buy Alex a drink; she wanted to see her face to face to explain. However, she remembered she wouldn't likely be out of the office until after the trial began on Monday and knew seeing Alex soon was a lost cause. She tried to explain, "I... I want to see you this weekend, I just ... I have a case going to trial and...early next week maybe?" She added with a small sigh, "If you're free of course."

"Just let me know," Alex replied, sounding more tired than she wanted to. Her instinct had been to say that she wasn't interested, but she couldn't say it. She didn't want to say it.

"I will, I'll call you as soon as I know." Patrice couldn't believe how terribly this had gone, and knew her discomfort over the next few days would be an altogether new reminder for her now.

"Good." She needed to hang up, to regroup. Alex could use the next few days to do that. Though, she knew that more than likely, her anger and jealousy would win out. She could always go directly to Donna... "I'll talk to you soon, Patrice."

"Ok Alex, have a good weekend." She tried to end the call as amicably as possible and set the phone down, standing and preparing to go in to work on yet another weekend. Patrice's morale was broken, but with the practiced discipline of years of 'being the job' she collected her thoughts of Alex, and Donna, her worries and needs, and locked them in a vault in the back of her mind, hearing the door snap shut as she opened her eyes, and began her morning routine.


	17. Flux

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Summary: When it comes to Donna, both Alex and Patrice get more than they bargained for.
> 
> Disclaimer: Law and Order SVU belongs to Dick Wolf and NBC.
> 
> A/N: We would like to note that this fic, as it progresses, is in no way meant to represent an entirely realistic representation of the BDSM Scene. This is a fictionalized, somewhat Romanticized account, in which many of the intricate details are left between the lines. However, despite the poetic license, we hope the portrayal is thoughtful and enjoyable.

Monday afternoon, Alex left her office early. She had gotten a lot done that day, mostly because she directed all of the anger that had grown over the weekend into the work. Sometimes it was too easy to do that with SVU, but her detectives really weren't her problem. By the time she showed up at Donna Geysen's office that afternoon, Alex wasn't exactly sure what her problem was. She waited as the secretary let Donna know that she was there, and she contemplated what she would say. Alex knew she was being a hypocrite, but she had built up so much momentum that she couldn't stop.

 

When she was allowed back, Alex sauntered in and closed the door, crossing her arms as she neared Donna's desk. "Ms. Geysen, thank you for seeing me."

Donna stood. "Ms. Cabot, what can I do for you?" She had a feeling that this wasn't work related but she didn't want to make assumptions.

"I was hoping we could talk," she replied flatly, "about Patrice."

Donna raised her eyebrows. "I really don't think this is the proper venue for that discussion."

Alex pursed her lips as she crossed her arms defensively. "I'd like to know if you plan on simply...picking up where you left off." She didn't know the whole story, but Alex felt defensive enough about what she presumed had happened between the two of them.

Donna stood, placing both of her hands flat on her desk. "Ms. Cabot, I will be happy to discuss this with you, but not here. I have work to do, and I assume you do as well. If you would care to join me for a drink later, you can yell at me all you like." She wouldn't actually let Alex yell at her, particularly not in public, but it was the sentiment that counted.

"Fine," Alex replied, cheek coloring just slightly. She was hardly used to being rebuffed so firmly and so easily.

Donna named a place far enough away from the courthouses that neither of them would risk running into a colleague. "Seven o'clock?"

"I'll see you there," Alex replied, nodding before turning on her heel and simply walking out.

That evening, Donna walked into the bar and found a table far enough away from the rest of the patrons that they wouldn't have to worry about being overheard. This wasn't a conversation for casual observers. She went ahead and ordered a glass of wine, having a feeling that she would thank herself for it later, and then she settled in to wait for Alex.

Alex didn't like being late, especially in a situation like this. But on any given day, there were a thousand normal things that distracted her from leaving. They all seemed to pile up on her today. She walked in at ten after seven, trying to look as composed as possible. It took a moment to spot Donna, but when she did, Alex walked over more confidently than she felt. She nodded curtly as she sat, and Donna didn't exactly smile.

But she actively tried not to look hostile. "Glad you made it."

"Mm." Alex unwound her scarf methodically before ordering a glass of wine. When the waiter was gone, she turned fully to Donna. "I thought you and Patrice were over," she said, each word pointed.

"We are." Donna leaned back and crossed her legs. The night before had been an anomaly, one that would probably never be repeated. When she had left for DC, everything had ended.

Alex pursed her lips, not realizing that she was narrowing her eyes. "What was Friday night, then?"

"An…aberration." Donna refused to be riled up.

She was silent as the waiter left her wine before seemingly hurrying away. "And is it going to happen again?"

"I highly doubt it." She couldn't deny it flat out, not with as long as they had known each other, not with all of the history between them, but she thought it was unlikely. "We've already said our goodbyes."

Alex raised her eyebrows. She wasn't prepared for that; she was prepared to be angry, to try to intimidate Donna, to speak in forced whispers. And her surprise showed. "I'm...not so sure she would agree," was all she managed.

Donna blinked in surprise. "I... I wasn't aware of that." She took a sip of her wine, not sure what to think about that.

"But you're not opposed to it." Alex swirled her wine, eyes fixed on Donna.

Donna looked at Alex appraisingly. She was fairly sure that she wouldn't try to attack her if she said yes. "I enjoy Patrice's company, and we've known each other for a long time. Would I be opposed to it? No. Will I be seeking it out? No."

The blonde wasn't quite sure if she believed that last, but she felt the heat of Donna's gaze. Alex knew when she was being appraised and she sat up a little bit straighter as a result. "I see."

"Alex," she paused to see if Alex would object to her using her first name, "before yesterday, I hadn't seen Patrice in years. I wasn't even sure if she was still in New York. If I got in the middle of something serious, I apologize, but I'm not a hormonal teenager. I'm more than capable of controlling myself around her." She tried not to think about evidence to the contrary from the night before.

Alex knew she was overreacting in the most hypocritical of ways. She rubbed her forehead, trying desperately to regroup. What happened to her cool when it came to Patrice LaRue? She wasn't entirely sure. "It's not you I'm worried about," she muttered.

Donna raised her eyebrows. "I'm more than capable of controlling her too, if I have to."

Alex frowned and let out an exasperated sigh. "I can't ask her not to have something with you. Clearly."

"Can't you?" Donna furrowed her brow. It seemed like a reasonable request to her.

 

"No." Alex looked up, running her fingers through her hair. She wasn't going to explain if she didn't have to.

The answer occurred to Donna a second later. "Your..." she nodded. "That would be a bit hypocritical."

Alex hated being called out on it. She sipped her wine, finally taking a moment just to look at Donna. She was an incredibly attractive woman, and there was something both young and mischievous about her eyes. But Alex realized that perhaps she had been looking a little too long.

Donna raised her eyebrows. "Trying to figure out what she sees in me?"

She licked her lips without realizing it. "No, I think that much is obvious." What she was trying to figure out was why she was so unaccountably jealous when under any other circumstance, she might have been arranging something quite different.

Patrice walked quickly down the sidewalk, looking for the bar Donna had told her earlier in the day. After talking to Alex on Saturday she had been nearly strong enough to resist

 

Donna's request, nearly being the operative word. Donna hadn't told her the reason for wanting to meet her tonight, but her curiosity had gotten the better of her. She ducked into the darkened room, starting to unbutton her long coat nervously as she glanced around the room. She knew Donna would have a table out of the way, she liked her privacy in public places.

Donna saw Patrice looking for her and smiled a little. "We're about to have company." She knew Alex couldn't see Patrice from there.

Alex didn't need to turn to realize just who that company was. She knitted her brows together, opening her mouth to speak before realization came to her. "Did you have something else in mind for this evening?" She asked, hackles almost raised.

"Nothing specific, but I thought if we were going to be talking about Patrice all night, it was only fair to invite her."

Smiling in spite of herself, Alex finally relaxed a bit. "You like this too much."

Patrice caught Donna's eye and started to move toward the corner table, her stomach fluttering slightly. It wasn't until she was halfway across the room that she sighted Alex, and stopped cold. She glanced from one woman to the other like a deer in the headlights, wondering just what she was in for tonight.

Donna smiled at Patrice and pushed a third chair out with her foot. She wasn't sure if it was an invitation or a command, which it took to get Patrice to keep moving. She leaned across the table to speak to Alex where Patrice couldn't hear her. "Only a little." She smirked.

Involuntarily, Alex shivered. She looked from Donna to Patrice, shifting just slightly in her seat as Patrice started again, moving mindlessly the rest of the way to the table and taking the offered seat wordlessly.

 

Patrice was suddenly too nervous to read either of the women. She glanced around immediately for a waiter; she needed a drink, and she needed it right then.

Donna found the waiter first and subtly waved him off. This whole situation was at least partially Patrice's fault and she didn't mind dishing out a little mild punishment for it. She smiled at Patrice again. "I'm glad you made it. "

Patrice turned back to Donna, giving her a slightly petulant glare. "Why did you do that? I want to at least order a drink before I find out just what all is going on here."

Alex gave a quick look to Donna before appraising Patrice. It was...interesting, to say the least, to see her this way. She was still annoyed, but the anger was disappearing because she knew she couldn't justify it. "I don't think you get to have a drink tonight, Patrice," Alex said, hoping she was interpreting Donna's intentions correctly. Patrice was the lynchpin of the whole situation; therefore, any difficulties could be blamed on her. And she could be punished for them.

Donna smirked at them both. Alex had read her perfectly. "And there's hardly any reason for you to be glaring at me like an insulted child." Patrice knew that she didn't reward childish behavior.

Patrice opened her mouth to answer, and then closed it again, partly out of confusion of who to respond to, but mostly because she really had no idea what to say. She looked from Donna to Alex, then back again, managing only the most simple of inquiries, "What's going on?"

"Donna and I were simply clearing the air," Alex said before taking the last sip of her wine. Her voice had taken on an authoritative tone, almost what she would use in court.

"Exactly. We didn't want there to be any more misunderstandings." Donna supposed that was a good word for it.

Patrice shifted, trying to look less uncomfortable than she clearly was. She didn't know what had transpired earlier, but seeing Alex and Donna apparently getting along so well was making her nervous and she realized, with growing dismay, slightly aroused. The blonde nodded, and had to clear her throat before she could answer, "Oh...err...I mean, good. Yes, that's good....I suppose."

Alex looked to Donna, whose glass was already empty. She glanced back to Patrice before turning entirely away from her. "I think you and I have said what we needed to say."

Donna nodded, focusing entirely on Alex. "I agree. I'm glad we could clear everything up."

Patrice leaned back and crossed her arms; she knew the other women were trying to provoke her, punish her even. She had been caught off guard, but she wasn't stupid. The blonde could tell she was in for something, but she wasn't entirely sure what all it might entail. She watched them quietly and wondered if she might slip away and get a drink at the bar...hell a shot would do.

"Did you have anything else in mind," Alex asked. She ran the toe of her shoe up Donna's leg lightly, feeling more at ease now.

"Mmm." She pressed her leg back against Alex's foot. "I can think of some interesting possibilities." It really was a shame that she was still in a hotel room. Still, she was sure

Alex had a perfectly nice apartment.

Patrice's mouth hung open at the shameless display. She could feel jealousy rising quickly. Her thoughts were confusing; watching the other women was intriguing to say the least, but she didn't like it when Donna focused her attention elsewhere. But even more, she was upset to see someone else talking like that to Alex in front of her. Patrice knew this was part of Donna's plan, she had used similar ploys over the years, but there was something about Alex that made her more edgy than usual. She couldn't help but glare at Donna, digging her fingernails into her palms as she watched.

"I don't think Patrice would mind if we went back to her place." Alex didn't want to deal with the dogs and how they might react to Donna. And she thought using her own apartment might make Patrice squirm a little more.

Donna held Alex's gaze for a moment before finally turning to Patrice. "You don't mind, do you?"

Patrice blushed fiercely; she was beyond words. The blonde just looked at the two of them and stood, shaking her head in resignation, attempting to put her coat back on and missing more than a few buttons. Alex stood and stepped close to Patrice. She smiled warmly as she buttoned the buttons the blonde has missed, and then she leaned in to kiss her lightly.

Donna smiled at both of them, happy to see that Alex did seem to care about Patrice, not that she was simply being jealous out of some type of possessiveness. And she always did like to see Patrice blush. "Lead on." She nodded toward Alex.

Patrice took some assurance in Alex's kiss, letting out a small breath. She followed the other women out of the bar, beginning to think the night was well out of her control and considering that that might not be such a bad thing.

Alex took Patrice's hand in the cab. She put herself between Donna and the blonde, not knowing how either would take it but not ignoring the possessive streak she was feeling. Patrice laced her fingers through Alex's hand, still glad that whatever else was happening, she hadn't apparently irreparably damaged things with Alex. What had transpired before her arrival she might never know, but from what she knew of Donna, she could only guess the older woman had managed to control the situation with her usual grace. Patrice had rarely seen Donna lose her composure, no matter what she was facing, Friday night being one of those rare times. She was getting over the initial shock of arriving tonight, and was now growing more intrigued by the whole night's progression.

Donna was certain that she wasn't going to let the rest of the night progress like this, with Alex having a minor tantrum every time she so much as looked at Patrice, but she let it go for the cab ride. She subtly pressed the side of her thigh against Alex's, trying to establish something before they made it back to Patrice's apartment and things got awkward.

Alex tried to collect her thoughts. She had been in these situations before--impromptu scenes--but this wasn't really a scene. There was an undercurrent of tension, of competition. The emotional stakes were high, and that was when Alex usually backed away. But she wasn't backing away from this. She squeezed Patrice's hand as the cab pulled up near her building, and she continued holding it when they went inside.

Donna glanced around the entryway—some things familiar, others were completely new. She shrugged off her coat, smiling when she saw a particularly familiar vase. "You kept it." For some reason she though that Patrice would have gotten rid of any evidence of their past relationship. It made her happy that she hadn't.

Patrice held out her hand to take the other women's coats, smiling at Donna, "Of course I did." She went to hang up the garments, leaving Alex and Donna in the hall.

For her part, Alex was doing more examining of Donna than she was the vase. She noted that the older woman was still fit, and again, she felt that there was something mischievous about her. Donna looked as if she were about to have an idea, a revelation at any moment. It was a composed chaos, and there was something about that that Alex found disconcerting. She struggled to find some subtle way to keep herself above water in the situation.

Donna returned Alex's gaze, a smile hovering over her lips. There was a part of her that simply wanted to kiss the other woman; it seemed like an appropriate way to break the ice. She suppressed that urge and merely stepped closer. "Are you going to spend the entire night glaring at me?" Alex wasn't glaring now, but Donna wasn't sure how long that would last.

Alex pursed her lips and out of instinct, put her hands on her hips. "I wasn't aware that I was being so rude."

Patrice walked back down the hall just in time to see the other two apparently squaring off. She paused and bit her lip, recognizing Donna's focused energy from years ago and what she was just beginning to learn of Alex's. Tension was crackling in the air, and she cast around for a way to break it. She inclined her head in the direction of the kitchen. "I don't suppose I'm allowed a drink now?"

Donna raised an eyebrow at Alex, silently asking her opinion. "I don't know, but I certainly want one." She followed Patrice toward that kitchen.

"I think you'll manage," she said to Patrice, following as well. It was too obvious an attempt to establish footing, and Alex instantly regretted it. She was not showing any grace, and she knew it.

Patrice couldn't help tossing a slight glare at Alex over her shoulder as she reached up and slowly brought down two glasses. She opened the cabinet and took out a bottle of scotch, pouring it into Donna's glass. Patrice hadn't thought to ask if that had changed, but she guessed it wouldn't have. She stopped short of pouring the second glass, turning pointedly back to Alex, not containing her lingering displeasure well. "And for you?"

"The same," she said pointedly, returning Patrice's glare.

Patrice continued, and handed Alex her drink, moving to lean on the counter quietly. She could tell the next move wasn't for her to make.

Donna took her glass and sipped her scotch. "If the two of you are going to spend the night squabbling like teenagers, I can go." She wasn't particularly impressed with Alex right now, and she was disappointed by Patrice.

"Don't be ridiculous." Alex took a long sip of her drink and forced herself to calm down, her posture straightening.

Patrice knew that was a strong reprimand and shivered a little; she recognized Donna's tone well. The blonde knew that both she and Alex were pushing the envelope. She shook her head at the older woman, "No, I'm sorry."

Donna tossed back the rest of her drink. Alex was right; this was utterly ridiculous. She put her glass down and stepped toward Alex, forcefully cupping the back of her head and pulling her in for a kiss.

Taken completely by surprise, Alex let go of the glass. But she didn't hear it hit the floor, nor did she really register the scotch splattering onto her shoes and legs. What she knew, was that she should have expected this, that she had seen that Donna was on the verge of something. Instead, she was kissing back and gripping Donna's hips tightly. Donna pulled Alex closer, refusing to let her go. She didn't want this kiss to be quick or easy. She was trying to prove too much for that. The tightness of Alex's hands on her hips was a good sign. She pushed back until Alex was trapped by the counter, then pushed her thigh between Alex's.

At the pressure of Donna's thigh, Alex gripped tighter, moaning into the kiss. For so long, she had built her pleasure on anticipation. Patrice had begun to offer the unexpected, but Alex had forgotten what delight something so sudden could bring.

Patrice gawked at them and couldn't help a small noise of surprise at the sight. She was past outright jealousy, and just watched, not sure who she was more captivated by. The blonde only registered the spilled drink when the glass rolled across the tile and came to rest by her shoes. She had seen Donna with others, but seeing her with Alex was having a different affect on her, and she could feel her body responding, her breath hitching slightly.

Donna finally let Alex go and took a step back. She was more than happy to take over, but she wanted to know that that was what both Patrice and Alex wanted. She could hear Patrice breathing, knew how she was reacting. She waited to see what Alex would do.

The kitchen suddenly seemed brighter, smaller. Alex blinked, each of her breaths catching slightly as she looked at Donna. It wouldn't be easy, she knew, but Alex liked challenges. And she thought this was perhaps a challenge she and Patrice both needed. She lowered her eyes slightly as a concession.

Patrice watched them, slowly moving from the counter and putting her hands behind her back out of habit, controlling herself physically, if not yet mentally. Her eyes settled on Donna, before moving her gaze to the floor.

Well, that was certainly convenient. "Where's the bedroom?" Donna didn't care who answered, just so long as they got out of the kitchen. There were far too many hard surfaces and she wasn't 25 anymore.

Patrice blushed a little, she had always liked Donna's blunt manner, though it made her lose her cool faster than just about anything. She turned and walked down the hall to the bedroom, her mind clearing just enough to hope she had managed to make the bed that morning.

Alex lifted her chin, following Patrice without looking at Donna again. She kept her eyes on the blonde's back until they were in the bedroom. There, her muscles, her body took over. She slipped out of her shoes and got to her knees facing the door.

Donna chuckled at Alex's easy compliance, already wondering just how long it would last. "Something tells me you've done this before." She trailed her fingers over Alex's shoulders and turned toward Patrice.

Patrice stood for a moment, shifting from foot to foot, trying to decide what Donna wanted of her tonight. Her first instinct was to follow Alex's lead, but Donna usually liked to dictate her moves.

Donna sauntered over to Patrice and kissed her, though not as forcefully as she had kissed Alex earlier. She didn't have anything to prove to Patrice. She waved a hand, indicating that Patrice should join Alex. She liked to keep Patrice waiting and based on Alex's earlier reaction, she thought maybe Alex liked waiting a little too much.

Patrice relaxed a little at the kiss, straightening, and taking a step toward Alex. She looked at her out of the corner of her eye as she sunk to the ground. Something about seeing her like that, and knowing Donna was watching them both sent a shiver racing up and down her spine in renewed anticipation.

Alex turned to Patrice, freely taking in the spectacle of her kneeling, a smirk on her face. Even if she was in the same position, she considered it something different; there was nothing, in her mind, to keep her from enjoying the moment. And she did, feeling for the first time that night the full breadth of her desire.

Donna crooked her finger at Alex. "Up."

She rose, haughty more than graceful in her movements, and as if to cement that, Alex met Donna's eyes. And Patrice let out a slight whimper of arousal as she tried to crane her neck around quietly to let her eyes follow Alex.

Donna chuckled. She refused to be phased. "You're not impressing me." She stepped closer and started untucking Alex's shirt.

"I don't need to impress you," Alex replied, almost bored. Almost. She could risk alienating Donna and ending the counter, which she knew could potentially happen if she didn't play her cards right.

"Mmm." Donna kissed her briefly, not giving Alex the opportunity to respond before she pulled away. "Well, a second ago I was going to push you back on that bed and fuck you until you screamed, but as you don't seem to be interested, you can leave."

Alex raised her chin as she clasped her hands b=behind her back. "No, I don't think I will."

Donna stepped toward the bed and addressed Patrice. "Is everything still in the same place?" She was already bending down and looking under the bed.

Patrice nodded, not turning around, "Yes." Her breath was shaky, partly because her knees were already starting to complain, but mostly because she was anticipating that Donna was about to realize just how much of their history she had been holding on to.

Donna pulled out a familiar looking box and flipped it open. She smiled when she realized just how much Patrice had kept. "I didn't realize that you were quite this sentimental." She pulled out a set of handcuffs, smiling at the weight in her hands. She stood and turned back to Alex. "I suppose that I shouldn't bother with these?"

Alex pursed her lips. She didn't realize Patrice was so sentimental either. Would she have kept things that Liz had given her, that Liz had required her to have? All of that had been taken away; she hadn't had to answer it. She didn't know that she could. But as to Donna's question, she simply made a subtle movement, turning up her nose.

Patrice turned as she heard the box pulled out and opened, she felt a small twang of jealousy when Donna threatened to use her things on Alex. She mastered it and waited to see what the outcome would be.

Donna shook her head at Alex. "I really don't want to spend the entire night fighting with you." And she wasn't going to. Before Alex could react, Donna had her on the ground with her hands cuffed behind her back. One could learn interesting things from Army Rangers. "Now," she breathed into Alex's ear, "either you can be good and do what I tell you to do, or I can leave you cuffed in the corner all night." She couldn't remember Patrice ever being this difficult.

Alex felt as if the breath had been knocked out of her for a moment. She struggled for words, opening her mouth only to have a small whimper escape. She had been whipped, cuffed, beaten, and put on display, but no one had ever done anything like that to her before. Patrice was momentarily forgotten; her resistance was momentarily forgotten. Alex's training took over as she nodded, slowly.

Patrice forgot herself for a moment and spun around to face the other women, watching intently—that was something Donna had never had to do to her. Alex's change in demeanor wasn't lost on her, and she glanced at Donna in amazement, before willing herself to turn around again, looking at the carpet intently like the answers to the universe were scrawled across it.

"Good." Donna didn't uncuff Alex, but she did release the pressure on the small of her back. She helped her back to her knees before motioning for Patrice to get up. "Help me get her to her feet, then undress her." Donna didn't give Alex much choice. She simply grabbed her arm, and with Patrice's help, lifted her to her feet.

Alex drew in a jagged breath that was louder than was polite. She flushed, cheeks coloring brightly at the way Donna handled at her, at Patrice's hands helping Donna pull her up. There was something so intimate and simple about the situation. Alex realized that--when not taking part in a well-worn routine--she had grown unused to this feeling.

Patrice rose and crossed the room silently, but the flush in her skin along with her short, shallow breathing spoke volumes. She stepped close to Alex and began to methodically unbutton her blouse, pausing with each button to enjoy seeing more and more soft skin revealed. For a moment she forgot herself and couldn't help leaning in and pressing her lips to Alex's neck.

Donna swatted Patrice's ass just hard enough to get her attention. "I don't think that's what I told you to do." She didn't need both of them getting out of hand. Patrice wouldn't be able to get Alex's shirt off while she was still wearing the handcuffs, but everything else would be simple enough.

Patrice started a little at the correction, "I'm sorry." She took a breath, and finished with Alex's shirt, letting it hang off her shoulders, then worked her way lower, unzipping her skirt and kneeling for her to step out of it.

Alex, carefully balanced, carefully stepped out of the skirt before stepping back into place, keeping her eyes on the floor. She tried to take deep breaths, to let herself be calm. But her eyes were fixed to Patrice, and that made her want to blonde even more.

Patrice kept her head lowered and remained on her knees, reaching up to slide Alex's stockings off, letting her fingers brush across the blonde's skin as she did so.

Crossing her arms, Donna watched. She wasn't through punishing Alex for her insubordination, but the sight of Patrice kneeling at her feet was certainly arousing. She waited for Patrice to finish.

Patrice knew she was being watched closely, and made her movements as deliberate and smooth as possible. She stood again and reached to unhook Alex's bra, having to bite her lip to keep from kissing the blonde again; the scent of Alex's skin was driving her to distraction quickly. Patrice slid the garment down the other woman's arms, and paused before quietly hooking her fingers under the waist of Alex's panties, returning herself to the ground as she slid them down and off.

At the moment Patrice touched the floor with her knees, Alex closed her eyes, for a moment, taking to the time to compose herself, to ready herself to see Patrice at her fee that way--both in the way she wished and not. She wanted Donna to uncuff her; being half dressed this way made her feel uncomfortable, inelegant. But she tried not to show that.

Donna licked her lips with anticipation. Part of her wanted to leave Alex like she was, her shirt and bra still half on. It was clearly making her uncomfortable. But it had to come of eventually. She circled Alex, unfastening one wrist just long enough to pull her shirt and bra off, then refastening them.

She watched as Donna removed Alex's remaining clothes and let them flutter to the ground. Out of discipline she gathered the Blonde's clothes from the floor, folding them and walking to place them on the dresser, before returning and kneeling again, this time in front of Donna.

It had been a long time since anyone used that type of cuff on Alex. She stood a little straighter, gracefully inclining her head while keeping her eyes lowered. That Donna was not impressed was now resonating with Alex. And she didn't like that.

That was better. Donna pursed her lips, absentmindedly running her fingers through Patrice's hair. She removed the pins as she did so, shaking it loose. "You want her, don't you?" she asked Alex. "You want her to be kneeling at your feet, doing your bidding." She motioned for Patrice to stand.

Alex drew in a quiet, trembling breath. She did not raise her eyes, but she did not avoid the question either. "Yes." Her voice was calmer, more assured than before, but it was thick with desire.

Patrice breathed deeply and closed her eyes, relaxing as Donna let her hair down, feeling Donna's approval in her touch. She opened them again when her mind registered the exchange between the other women, and her stomach quickened at Alex's reply. The tone of the other blonde's voice was enough to make her involuntarily press her legs together trying to control herself.

Donna started removing Patrice's clothing, unbuttoning her shirt, unzipping her skirt. Normally she liked to draw it out, she knew how much Patrice enjoyed the anticipation, but in that moment she cared more about the end result. "You can kneel," she said to Alex. "In the corner." She nodded to indicate the one nearest the bed.

Alex's eyes flicked up for a moment as she registered the command. Surprise colored her face, but she didn't let it show too long for it be unseemly. Her mouth was opening to speak before she checked herself. Drawing in a steadying breath, she lowered her eyes again--but not before taking a very long look at Patrice—and went to the corner, kneeling in a fluid motion.

Patrice could feel both of the other women's eyes on her body, and her skin covered with goosebumps in response. She forced herself to keep her eyes down. Though Donna was not being as deliberate as usual, the tenor of the moment was making each second pass like an hour. She could feel her hands behind her beginning to tremble in anticipation, and gripped them together harder.

Donna proceeded to ignore Alex, focusing on Patrice instead. She leaned in and kissed Patrice, then went back to the box and pulled out her old collar. "I'm very glad you kept this." It would have hurt to think of it in the bottom of a landfill somewhere. She carefully unclasped Patrice's necklace and nodded for her to lift her hair before replacing the necklace with the collar.

She felt a wave of nostalgia wash over her as the supple leather embraced her skin again. Though she had had many passing encounters with others over the years since Donna, she had never worn anyone else's collar. She hadn't met anyone who she felt was strong enough to ask it of her, and it wouldn't have felt honest. Alex was watching through her lashes, and she felt her cheeks and her chest grow hot, jealousy tightening the knot in her stomach as the exchange took place.

Donna smiled fondly at Patrice, knowing that she was driving Alex crazy. "I want to fuck you." She kissed Patrice gently, comfortingly running her hands up and down her sides, contradicting her words. "Do you have a strap-on?" She hadn't seen one in the box, but that didn't mean that Patrice didn't have more conventional sex toys elsewhere.

Patrice swallowed, and it took a minute before she could manage to cross the room to the closet, taking out a box from a back shelf. She rarely had occasion or need to use its contents. She put the box next to the other on the bed and returned to Donna, her pulse now beating so fast she was sure the other occupants of the room could hear it.

 

Donna opened the second box and found what she was looking for. She motioned for Patrice to join her as she put it on. "Clear the bed off and lie down." She wondered just how far she could go before Alex's composure broke completely.

Hazarding a glance at Alex, Patrice did as she was told. The look the other blonde gave her made her whimper quietly in spite of herself. She quickly looked away, and lay down on the bed, leaning on the pillows and trying to keep her eyes down.

While Alex's posture seemed to show perfect composure, the color of her cheeks did not. She had the grace to keep herself from shaking with jealousy, though. She was the one who was supposed to be fucking Patrice that way; she was the one who had been just a week before. But she was wet, pressing her thighs together in anticipation of the situation.

She wondered just what Patrice would get for letting the sound escape. She shifted slightly, feeling the strain in her knees begin. It had been a long time since she had actually had to kneel and watch like this.

Donna shot Patrice a look as she whimpered but ignored it for the moment. There was nothing at all that said she had to treat the women equally. She leaned down and kissed Patrice as she settled her weight on top of her.

Patrice felt her arousal become almost painful as Donna's skin touched hers. She bit back a moan and tried to keep from kissing the other woman. Her skin was so close, and she wanted to taste it badly. However, Donna's controlled demeanor was back in place, any evidence of the anomaly that was Friday night was gone, and she gripped the blankets to keep from losing control and trying to touch the brunette when she hadn't been given permission.

Donna slipped a hand between Patrice's thighs, lightly rubbing her clit and feeling just how wet she was. "Mmm." She pushed two fingers into Patrice and started stroking, getting her ready for the dildo. This wasn't about pain. At least, it wasn't about Patrice's pain.

At that, the blonde couldn't help a whimper, her hips moving to let Donna's fingers move deeper. The brunette's touch was measured but firm, building towards what she knew was ahead, dragging out the anticipation further. As she heard Alex, she glanced quickly at her, catching the arousal evident in her gaze, breath hitching and growing shallow in response.

"I'll put a blindfold on you if you can focus," Donna murmured. She pulled her fingers out of Patrice and pushed her legs further apart, settling between them.

Alex caught her breath, leaning forward a bit. Her knees ached for it, but she wasn't even trying to hide that she was watching anymore.

Patrice forgot to breathe altogether at the veiled threat, not knowing whether the thought of the blindfold or Donna's tone was getting to her more. Donna's hips against hers shook her out of her thoughts, and she gasped slightly, closing her eyes.

As Patrice's eyes closed, Donna took the dildo and slid it into her. Once she had pushed all of the way in, she stopped moving, holding herself up on her arms and looking down at Patrice.

She moaned as Donna moved and filled her, and it took a moment for her to realize she had stopped moving. Patrice remembered herself, and instinctively opened her eyes again, looking heatedly at Donna. And a soft, frustrated whimper escaped Alex's lips as she watched.

"Better." Donna slowly started to fuck Patrice. She wasn't in any hurry and she had no intention of giving Patrice what she wanted anytime soon. She was proving a point, and only after she started moving did she turn to Alex, staring directly into her eyes as Patrice writhed underneath her.

Alex's breath caught as she held Donna's gaze. She bit back the words, the pleas that were rising in her throat, but that was her only act of defiance.

"Oh.... please...." Patrice couldn't help the quiet pleas that came out of her mouth as she moved under Donna in rhythm with her slow thrusts. She kept her eyes open, and trained on the brunette above her, toes curling into the comforter.

"Not yet..." Donna didn't stop, didn't speed up. She just kept staring at Alex. Waiting.

 

Donna's words sent a renewed shiver down the blonde's spine. She couldn't keep herself from continuing to move under her, but managed to fall quiet, breaths coming in shorter and shorter intervals, well aware that a slight sweat was beginning to coat her skin.

Alex gritted her teeth together, pursing her lips. She was jealous enough to want to be the one fucking Patrice. She was jealous enough to protest, to cry out angrily. She wanted to see Patrice come enough to beg. But she knew that's what Donna wanted, and her pride kept her in place, red faced and brooding.

"I don't think that Alex wants you to come." She kissed down Patrice's neck and started sucking on one of her nipples, biting it intermittently.

The blonde drew in a sharp breath. Of course she wanted Patrice to come. She wanted to make her come.

Patrice groaned both at the words and at the feel of Donna's teeth. Hearing Alex's breath was driving her crazy, and only years of discipline from Donna were keeping her from pulling the brunette's body down and seeking the contact she wanted.

Donna looked at Alex. "I think she's jealous enough that she'd rather see you like this, wanting it so badly, than see someone else make you come." She reached down and started rubbing Patrice's clit, trusting in the other woman's obedience.

It was all Alex could do not to stand. She wanted to replace Donna's fingers with her tongue, to taste Patrice before making her come. And she hated it, hated that Donna was so right in knowing that Alex would see Patrice suffer, would enjoy every moment of it before seeing her come to another woman's touch. When had she become so possessive, so jealous? Alex wondered, as she forced herself to lower her eyes, if it was simply Patrice or if it was the promise of something new, something so comfortable.

Patrice moaned, arching her back off the bed at the touch, mouth opening slightly. She wanted to let go so badly, but knew she hadn't been given permission, not just yet. The blonde hung there on the edge, eyes closed, acutely aware of Alex's eyes from across the room. Her breath hissed at the thought of the other blonde watching her, anticipating.

Donna refocused on Patrice. "You can come." She kissed Patrice almost as hard as she could, rubbing her clit and finally pushing into her with some sort of intensity. She kept watching Alex from the corner of her eye.

Donna's command pushed her over the brink and she tensed as came, moaning into the other woman's mouth, drawing her legs up the bed. After a few long moments she quieted, her world coming into focus again, body more relaxed under Donna.

Alex felt herself sinking back, sitting on her heels. Her head was swimming and she was so ready, so wanting that it hurt. She was so angry to be outside of the sounds Patrice was making that it hurt.

Donna slowly pulled away from Patrice and took off the strap-on. The intensity of her own arousal hit her suddenly and it was all she could do not to moan. There would be time for that later. She grabbed the key to the handcuffs and held it out to Patrice. "You can unlock her now."

Patrice took one last steadying breath as she sat up and took the key from Donna, going to where Alex was still kneeling. Seeing her there, knowing she had been watching was having a surprisingly strong effect on her. Despite her recent release, the blonde suddenly wanted Alex, and she felt herself tense a little, anticipation growing. She knelt down behind the other blonde to unlock her, and couldn't help but pause to kiss the back of her shoulder, tasting Alex's skin. Patrice knew she would be punished for it, but at that moment she didn't care, the pull was too great.

Alex knelt up again, remembering herself. But the moment her hands were free, she pulled Patrice too her, grabbing her face and kissing her fiercely as she fell into her.

Patrice was slightly startled with Alex's uninhibited actions, but lost herself in the moment and kissed her back deeply, letting her hands slide down the other blonde's back. When breathing became an issue she finally pulled away, head spinning. It took her a few seconds until she remembered herself and leaned back, casting a sheepish look at Donna, color rising in her cheeks from the embarrassment.

 

Donna had had a feeling something like that was going to happen and she merely looked on in aroused bemusement as they kissed, waiting to see if either of them would remember her.

Alex ignored the glance to Donna. She pulled Patrice close, holding her tightly out of instinct as she began kissing her neck. It was so rare for her to lose control so completely.

Donna let the spectacle continue for a few moments before she got out of bed and walked over to them. "Patrice. Stop." she had a feeling that saying the same to Alex wouldn't work right now.

At Donna's words she froze, pulling back from Alex. It was almost painful to do so, but that tone of voice set her back in time, and she was powerless to disobey. The blonde turned and looked up at Donna, apprehensive. Alex reached for Patrice, twining her fingers in the blonde's hair, her breaths sharp, heavy. She wanted her unlike she had wanted anyone, anything before. Patrice let out a strangled moan, feeling torn between them, between her past and the present.

Donna grabbed Alex's wrist and yanked her to her feet. Before she could protest, she had pulled Alex out of the bedroom and into the hallway, shutting Patrice inside. And Alex stumbled with Donna, trying to catch her breath.

Patrice instinctively moved after them, and stopped short as the door slammed in her face.

As soon as they were outside, Donna let Alex go. "I don't know you very well, so I don't know if this is how you usually behave." Donna had finally gotten sick of Alex's antics.

"If you have a problem with this, then you should have the decency to end the scene and tell me. If not, then I'm going to start treating you like the spoiled child that you seem to be."

Alex found herself trying to stammer out a reply. She had never been so badly behaved before. Her first mentor was not the best, but Alex had been competitive enough, craved enough attention to learn quickly and learn well. "I..." Alex swallowed. She met Donna's eyes and lowered her gaze immediately as she reevaluated the situation. She knew that she should have known from Patrice's training how strong Donna was. "Please accept my apology," she murmured, falling back on her own training.

Donna merely pursed her lips and reopened the bedroom door. She wasn't yet ready to accept Alex's apology, not if she continued to behave like a child. "We'll see."

The blonde hesitated a moment before stepping back into the bedroom, almost walking into Patrice.

Patrice had been kneeling a little too close to the door, trying to listen to their voices in the hallway, and had to move quickly to avoid getting hit as the other two women returned.

Donna raised her eyebrows at Patrice as she scrambled away. "Eavesdropping?" She shook her head, fairly sure that Patrice hadn't been able to hear them. "Get a paddle." She wanted to make sure Alex had learned her lesson.

Patrice got to her feet hurriedly, blushing violently at being caught. She retrieved a leather paddle from the box on the floor and brought it back to Donna, still a little too embarrassed to meet her eyes. She was itching to know what had transpired in the hall, but knew she was in no position to ask.

"Oh, I'm not going to be the one doing the paddling." She found a place to sit and motioned to Alex. "Whatever you think she deserves for that little display."

Alex's fair skin flushed pink as she shot a glare in Donna's direction. She lifted her chin, ego getting the better of her.

Patrice was decidedly less than prepared for that command, and her mouth hung open slightly. It was far from the first time Donna had wanted to watch her dish out a punishment, but it was the first time such a request was so complicated.

Donna watched them impassively, hoping that she wouldn't have to intervene.

Alex bristled at remembering Donna's words in the hall. She had not showed the best of herself, and one more display might take her out of the room permanently. So, she turned towards Patrice and sank to her knees, waiting for instructions.

Patrice took a steadying breath and ordered her thoughts. She was still conflicted, but had to admit seeing Alex like that had a powerful effect on her, and Donna's request gave her power, a bit of permission to act as she wanted. She lowered her voice slightly. "Get up."

That tone sent a shiver through Alex. She stood, glad not to have to be on her knees any longer. But she kept her eyes respectfully on the floor.

Patrice straightened, looking over Alex's body and settling into her new role. It wasn't for lack of ability that this wasn't generally her position, being with Donna long enough she had attained a respectable mastery. Patrice motioned to the edge of the mattress, "You might want to put your elbows down, and it might be awhile."

Alex nodded, doing as she was told. She preferred a paddling to being spanked, but there was something inelegant about it, something raw and clumsy that made a whipping her preference of punishments. And she had no idea what Patrice's skill would be like--though, she could guess.

Donna settled into her seat now that it looked like she was going to be obeyed

She took a moment to enjoy seeing Alex like that, sliding her fingertips lightly, teasingly, over her skin. Patrice leaned down to whisper in her ear, "You ready?" She couldn't help but nip at Alex's neck on the way back up, bringing the leather to rest on the blonde's skin lightly.

"Yes," Alex breathed, shivering at Patrice's touch, at the feel of the cool leather. She was ready, and in spite of herself, Alex was arching into it. There was a thrill in the fact that it was Patrice who was punishing her, and it outweighed her dismay.

She nodded and slid her fingers down Alex's back one more time, letting them stop at the small of her back as she brought the paddle up and began to land it across the other blonde's skin, softly at first, then building in intensity.

The strength in the building intensity, or the promise of it, made Alex moan softly. She knew that by the end, each hit would be a cold blunt pain, but the arched her back, pressed into each of them, accepting them, showing Patrice, that she wanted each hit.

Encouraged by Alex's demeanor, Patrice continued, placing the blows in succession down the backs of her thighs, then back to her ass, watching the color rise in her skin.

She slid her free hand up to slide through Alex's hair, touching her gently in opposition to the intensity of the paddle.

Tears were beginning to sting Alex's eyes, but she held them back. She focused on Patrice's soft touch as her moans devolved into whimpers. She was squirming now.  
Donna shifted in her seat, already anticipating the moment when the paddling would be over.

She could tell Alex was getting near to breaking, letting go, and she increased the pace one more time, "Alex, do you have something to say?"

Alex whimpered lightly. She wanted to be silent, to be cool. Speaking would betray that, and she found herself torn, whimpering more softly as she pressed up into Patrice's blows.

She continued, knowing Alex was warring with herself, with her pride, looking for an acceptable release. Despite her training, Patrice spoke in a quieter voice, "It's ok."

"Please..." Alex moaned softly, closing her eyes to make the pain more intense. "Please...I'm sorry..."

Patrice melted a little, but willed herself to maintain the punishment, knowing Alex needed it. "For what Alex?"

Tears began to spill from her eyes, which only made Alex angry. She gritted her teeth together, willing herself to stop before answering Patrice. "For misbehaving so badly. For kissing you without permissions." The last words were choked as they became so real and heavy with the admission. "For being jealous."

She was already slowing her actions as the last admission hit her, and she felt her heart jump a little. Patrice hadn't been sure how much of Alex's behavior that night had been out of competition for its own sake with Donna, and hearing her admit to jealousy made her pause. She landed a last few blows and set the paddle aside, leaning down to kiss her shoulders, soothing her. It was only after several moments that she remembered Donna's presence, and looked over to her.

Donna nodded her approval, quite happy with Patrice in that moment. "What do you want to do with her now?"

Patrice didn't need to think about that question long, she pulled Alex to her feet in front of her, and brushed a few errant strands of hair out of her face. She leaned in and quietly kissed the other blonde's tears from her cheeks, letting the salty taste linger on her tongue.

She looked over at Donna, answering as simply as she could, "I want to reward her honesty."

Donna was feeling more and more like her presence there was unnecessary. Clearly whatever was going on between Alex and Patrice was more serious than they had realized. "Then you should." She still hadn't moved from her chair. She was planning on sneaking out once Patrice was too distracted to notice.

Alex felt dazed as she looked from Patrice to Donna and back. Something about the air, the dynamic had changed.

Patrice waited a moment, listening for Donna to give her further direction. Hearing none, she realized the older woman wasn't going to be dictating her next moves. She took Alex's hands and pulled her close, kissing her deeply, relaxing into her and regaining her thoughts.

The blonde sighed into the kiss, happy for a quiet moment. She wrapped arms around

Patrice, fully falling into the moment, letting it go on before pulling away just slightly. "Let me be with both you," Alex whispered, pressing her forehead to Patrice's.

Donna raised her eyebrows but didn't say anything. That wasn't something she had expected.

Patrice smiled a little, turning to look at Donna. She wasn't sure how the brunette would react, but was intrigued by the request.

"It's up to you." She was through making decisions for Patrice. She stood and walked over to them, lifting her hands to unfasten the collar she wore. Once it was off, she held it out to Alex, even though she was still in Patrice's arms, still playing the submissive. "I think this yours now."

Patrice felt a tug at her heart as Donna took her collar off, but it wasn't truly out of sadness. She knew the past was, as it should be, a well-remembered memory. She smiled slightly and nodded at Donna, inviting her to stay.

Alex pulled away, taking the worn strip between her fingers. She rubbed her thumb over it, thinking of the collar that she wore for Liz. It was similar but different in enough ways.

This was delicate enough to be striking on Patrice's skin, and she would wager that it had been soft even before years of use. She locked eyes with Donna, silently thanking her for what she took to be approval. Then she turned to Patrice and put the collar in her hand.

"No...it's Patrice's." What she and Patrice had...it was different.

Donna nodded. She was content with that. "I should go." She turned to find her clothing.  
Her fingers closed over the leather, looking at Alex, contemplating the moment. She smiled, and wrapped her arm lightly behind her neck, pulling her into a soft kiss. After a moment, she released her, and moved to place the collar on her dresser, laying it flat and running her fingers along it. She turned back and looked at Donna, "you won't stay?" She didn't mind asking, Patrice knew the older woman wouldn't feel compelled to do anything she didn't want to.

"Stay," Alex said, turning from Patrice. She took Donna's hands, pulling her into a soft kiss, trying to tell her that she wanted to make up for earlier that day.

Donna returned the kiss, unconsciously pulling Alex closer. The night's earlier activities had left her incredibly aroused, and she simply didn't have enough will power to keep trying to walk away. She leaned into the kiss.

She smiled, watching them, then moved behind Donna, kissing across her shoulders, and sliding her hands down her sides.

It wasn't about the power dynamics anymore. It wasn't about jealousy or anger. Alex had been acting like a child, and she would feel that on buttocks and thighs the next day. She kissed Donna deeper, pulling her close before running her fingers through Donna's hair.

Donna moaned, perfectly content between the two of them. She leaned into Patrice's hands and pulled Alex even closer. Her knees were going weak and with she was quickly becoming overwhelmed. Patrice couldn't help but smile against Donna's skin, she was feeling completely at peace with how the night was ending. Patrice guided them toward the bed, not losing contact. She reached over and pulled Alex in and kissed her, then slipped onto the bed and lay back, waiting for the others to join her.

Alex carefully pressed Donna back onto the bed and climbed on top of her, straddling her as she leaned over to kiss Patrice. She ran her hands up Donna's sides, pressing her skin firmly until she reached her breasts, cupping them.

Donna clutched at Alex's thighs. She looked up at Patrice, pulled her down for a kiss after Alex finished with her.

Patrice moaned a little at the kiss, leaning back to watch. It was the first time she had seen Donna like this, so relaxed, not managing, not commanding. It took years off of her expression, and Patrice found her even more beautiful. She moved behind Alex, running a hand through her hair and kissing her neck, enjoying the view from Alex's angle.

The blonde leaned back into Patrice and smiled as the skin of her back met Patrice's chest. "Mm..." She rolled Donna's nipples between her thumbs and forefingers. She didn't know what Donna liked, so she tried to pa attention to her breath to her face, but she tried to enjoy Patrice's touches as well.

Donna's breath hitched as Alex pinched her nipples. She squirmed, digging her fingernails into Alex's thighs.

Patrice ran her hands up and down Alex's back, feeling the muscles starting to relax. Patrice had a sudden urge to see them together, and she leaned in and took the other blonde's earlobe in her teeth, tugging it gently, "I want to see you kiss her again."

A small thrill built in Alex's chest and her breath caught as her lips curled into a smile.

"Alright," she murmured, turning her head to kiss Patrice quickly before dipping , pressing her lips to Donna's, drawing them open and into a slow kiss.

Donna let go of Alex's thighs to cup her head, returning the kiss. She only stopped when she couldn't breath anymore, but she didn't let Alex go far. Her breathing was still rough and heavy, but she kissed Alex again anyway.

Watching the other women, Patrice's breath increased. She moved her hands to the backs of Alex's legs, dragging her fingers over the still-warm skin lightly. She leaned down and kissed Alex's back, slipping a hand between the other blonde's legs, moving her fingers in gentle strokes.

The touch of Patrice's palms on Alex's sore legs made her break the kiss with Donna to suck in a breath. It was the kind of pain that led to extreme arousal, and she moaned gratefully when Patrice began to touch her. For a moment, she was lost in it, moaning and squirming before remembering herself, remembering that she was touching Donna's breasts and then moving her hands down, shifting to press her fingers between Donna's legs so she could touch her while Patrice continued.

"Oh," Donna's breath caught. "God." She grabbed Alex's thighs again. With everything that had come before, she was already incredibly close.

Patrice caught Donna's gaze and continued, now sliding her fingers into Alex, moving more quickly. She shifted, and brought her other hand around the other blonde, teasing her clit, reveling in the feel and sounds of both women.

Alex straightened, leaning back to kiss Patrice and not caring that it was messy and imprecise. She dipped again, kissing and nipping along Donna's collarbones. She knew the older woman was close, so she simply circled her clit, pressing in as she tasted

Donna's skin, as she squirmed against Patrice's attentions.

Donna's muscles tensed and she pulled Alex closer as she orgasmed. She had a feeling she'd be sore the next day. As soon as her mind cleared, she reached up and started touching Alex's nipples.

Patrice exhaled sharply as she watched Donna climax, touching Alex more firmly, pushing her to the edge, enjoying the moment, dragging it out.  
Alex moaned, close enough before Donna's orgasm but simply racing to it now. She started quickly, moaning as she leaned back into Patrice to enjoy the rest.

Donna let her arms fall back to the bed, finally relaxing completely. She enjoyed watching Alex come in Patrice's arms.

Patrice held Alex to her as she came, holding her lips to the other blonde's neck, knowing

she was leaving a small mark behind. As Alex began to relax, so did Patrice, laying them both on the bed, leaning over to kiss Donna, before turning and wrapping herself around

Alex's lanky form, sighing gently.

"Mm," she murmured, snuggling between the two of them contentedly. She let her fingers drift across Donna's stomach as she pressed back into Patrice.  
Donna rolled onto her side and slid her arms around the both of them. "Thank you.' She leaned in and kissed Alex gently.

Patrice was already drifting off, more sanguine than she had been in quite some time. Patrice watched silently, smiling, as Donna kissed Alex. Their eyes met briefly, no words were necessary between them, and Patrice lay back, burying her face in Alex's hair.


	18. Rush

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Summary: Alex and Patrice wake up after a night with Donna.
> 
> Disclaimer: Law and Order SVU belongs to Dick Wolf and NBC.
> 
> A/N: We would like to note that this fic, as it progresses, is in no way meant to represent an entirely realistic representation of the BDSM Scene. This is a fictionalized, somewhat Romanticized account, in which many of the intricate details are left between the lines. However, despite the poetic license, we hope the portrayal is thoughtful and enjoyable.

She was cold. Alex clung to sleep, but she found herself curling into a ball, straining to create warmth, and when she reached for the covers, she found them tangled around a warm sleeping mass. As she began to slowly come up from sleep, the night came back to her--she could feel it on the backs of her legs. Finally, she opened her eyes. It was grey in the room--still early enough not to rush out of bed. The linens were wrapped around Patrice, and the comforter had slipped to the floor. But what struck Alex was that they were alone. She wondered just when Donna had slipped away as she tried to pull a corner of the sheet free.

Patrice was caught up in a vivid dream, though she wouldn't remember it later,. She had them often, and while most were generally born of her day-to-day life and worries, this one was of an elusive memory of her past. However, all that remained of it as she was tugged back into wakefulness was an expanse of blue ocean and the sun in her hair. As the vision faded, she mumbled quietly and rolled over to face Alex, opening her eyes sleepily. Patrice smiled, then realized the other woman's predicament and freed the sheets she had been clinging to, offering them to Alex and pulling her in.

"Thank you," Alex whispered, glad to be close to Patrice's warm skin. She wrapped an arm around, her closing her eyes as she rested her nose against Patrice's neck. "Donna's gone."

Alex said it sleepily, not intending to really wake Patrice more. But she had a fleeting realization that that might upset the blonde, so she held her tighter.

"Mmhm.." Patrice opened her eyes again to look at the other side of the bed. She wasn't surprised, but she took a moment to think over all that had transpired the night before, both the actions, and their unspoken meanings. Patrice sighed a little and ran her hands over Alex's back absentmindedly; she knew Donna had moved on, and now was giving Patrice permission to do so as well. As with any realization that a chapter of one's life had closed, Patrice felt a twinge of nostalgia, but it wasn't an altogether unpleasant emotion. 'All good things...' she mused to herself. Besides, she had reasons to let the past go and build a future, and she finally just might be ready to do so.

"Changes aren't necessarily ends," Alex murmured. She was kissing Patrice's neck now, pressing close to her. Alex ran her fingers through the blonde's unruly hair. She hadn't had such closure with Liz, with anyone before she was torn away from her life, and she hadn't been able to pick it up easily. What she had witnessed between Patrice and Donna, she knew, had to be resonating deeply with Patrice.

She drew in a breath, enjoying Alex's attention, a quiet smile crossing her features. "No, you're right." She knew she owed it to Alex to tell her what she was thinking, they were at that moment far past keeping their emotions to themselves. "I'm alright though, I was ready, and she knew it even if I didn't yet." She paused, then continued, her tone changing slightly, "And thank you. Thank you for .... for not running."

"Mmhm." She was kissing more intently, nipping at Patrice's skin in places. Running, now that Alex thought about it, had been the last thing on her mind. She hadn't been prepared to walk away, to leave them as they were. It was a more unsettling thought that her jealousy had led her to such lengths to establish...to establish what? That Patrice was hers? That she wouldn't be sidelined? She looked up. "I think I owe you both an apology for the way I acted, actually."

Patrice's skin was beginning to tingle where Alex was kissing her, the haze of sleep abating more and more quickly. She wrapped Alex in her arms and pulled her over so the other woman's lanky body was draped over her own. Patrice leaned in and brought their lips together, then smiled up at her. "Well, I can't pretend to know how you usually behave, but you did give Donna a bit of a challenge." Her tone was growing teasing, as she had a pretty good idea of what had prompted Alex's demeanor the previous evening.

"I don't think I've ever been that jealous." She meant to say that Liz would have been appalled, but Alex couldn't help herself. She knew Patrice knew her motivations, and she felt lighter for simply saying the words. She smirked, trying to cover a slight blush that spread across her cheeks, and she leaned in, meeting Patrice's playful tone with an equally playful kiss.

Patrice held her in the kiss for a long moment. Though Alex was making light of the situation, she knew the admission wasn't easily said, last night had made that clear. She knew Alex wasn't alone in these feelings, the blonde knew she had been more than a little short with Donnelly on the matter as well. Patrice looked at her for a moment as the kiss broke, reassuring, before changing back to their playful banter. "And I'd love to hear more about it.... but last time I checked, Mondays are generally not followed by Saturdays."

Alex took a moment to smile. If only they were. Then she situated herself more fully on top of Patrice, running her hands up the other woman's sides. "We have time."

Patrice glanced at the clock on the dresser, it was definitely time she should be getting up if she was planning on getting to work on time. She turned back to Alex, and couldn't help raising an eyebrow in mock-confusion, her smile turning into a grin, "I've got about five minutes, what, exactly were you planning on accomplishing?"

"Mm." Alex's smile turned into a smirk. She had no qualms stretching that five minutes into fifteen or twenty or longer. Her day was going to be long whether she was late for work or not. She dipped, as if to kiss Patrice but took one of the blonde's nipples between her teeth instead, sipping it lightly as she pressed her hand between Patrice's legs.

"Oh...." Patrice squirmed at the sudden contact, worries of being late fast evaporating as her body quickly responded to Alex's touch. At this rate, however, the other blonde was going to be able to accomplish quite a bit in her 5 minutes.

She moved her attentions to Patrice's other nipple, pressing her fingers between Patrice's lips, beginning to circle her clit. Alex was surprised to find Patrice already wet, already wanting. She smiled against her soft skin.

Patrice moaned again and slid a hand behind Alex's head, tangling her fingers in her hair. She brought the other hand above her head, gripping the pillows as she moved gently, encouraging Alex to continue, despite her earlier misgivings about the time.

"Mm," Alex purred, gently blowing her breath against Patrice's tender nipple. She pressed back into Patrice's hand, welcoming the touch as she replaced her forefinger with her thumb and pressed two fingers into the blonde.

Patrice's hips moved of their own accord, pressing Alex's fingers further. She pulled Alex up and brought their lips together; she was already starting to shudder, and opened her mouth, kissing the other blonde deeply to stifle a moan as she came, the hand above her letting go, and wrapping around Alex. She relaxed for a minute, then started to place a few kisses over Alex's jaw, and down her neck. The thought of the time worked its way into her mind, and was quickly dismissed when she looked at the expression on Alex's face. Patrice snaked her arms around the other blonde's slender waist and rolled them over together, pressing Alex down onto the mattress.

Alex smiled at the change in position as she looked up at Patrice. She snaked her fingers through her hair and pulled her down into a kiss, moaning lightly. As if to illustrate her need, she pressed her hips into Patrice's.

Patrice returned the smile, then ducked her head to kiss across Alex's chest, taking a nipple into her mouth, sucking it gently. She pressed her leg between Alex's and moved the other blonde's legs apart, feeling how ready she was already.

"God, Patrice," Alex breathed, gripping her hair lightly. Tuesday or not, work was the last thing on her mind.

 

Patrice didn't need any more encouragement. She worked her way over and took the other nipple in her mouth, biting down gently as she moved to slip two fingers into Alex.

The way Patrice mirrored the movements she had used just made Alex more aroused. She moaned softly, settling back into the pillows, closing her eyes so she could simply feel Patrice's touch.

Patrice couldn't help but press herself along Alex's skin as she moved her fingers inside her. She worked her lips quietly up along Alex's neck, pausing to nip at her ear, before brushing her tongue over the other woman's lips and kissing her softly but firmly.

Alex wrapped her arms around Patrice, raking her nails down her back. She curled her toes into the sheets, squirming as she got closer.

Patrice moaned and arched into Alex's touch, kissing her before moving lower quickly, ducking under the sheets, and settling between the other woman's legs. She kept moving her fingers in Alex, and lowered her mouth, pausing for a moment to let Alex feel her breath, enjoying the anticipation. Alex shuddered and moaned more loudly than she meant. "God...don't tease," she moaned, reaching under the covers to run her fingers through Patrice's hair.

At the sensation of Alex's hands in her hair, Patrice leaned closer and licked Alex, gently at first, then more firmly, moving her fingers in the same rhythm.

It didn't take long before Alex was coming just as quickly, with just as much force as Patrice had. In the heat of it, she pulled Patrice up, kissing her roughly. Patrice returned it, fingers still pressing into Alex, pulling the last shudders from the other blonde's body.

"That was...mm..." It was worth being late. Alex nuzzled Patrice's neck softly and began to chuckle. "Got a suit I can borrow?"

Patrice grinned at the question, it might take a little digging in her closet to come up with something that wouldn't scream 'walk of shame' on Alex, but she thought she could find something. Besides, spending the day knowing that Alex was quite literally 'in her skirt' was way to good to pass up. She kissed Alex again and moved to get up, "I can find something I'm sure."

Alex caught her, pulling Patrice in for another kiss, longer this time, before letting her go and sitting up herself. "Thanks." She found her discarded clothes and picked up her shirt, popping it before deciding that it looked fine.

A short while later, they left Patrice's apartment, and took the elevator down. She took a minute to glance over at Alex, deciding the other blonde looked pretty good in her clothes. Patrice smiled at her, and pulled her in for a last lingering kiss before the elevator reached the lobby, and they had to go back to their public lives.


	19. Retrospect

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Summary: Patrice discovers that she hasn't yet learned everything there is to know about Donna.
> 
> Disclaimer: Law and Order SVU belongs to Dick Wolf and NBC.
> 
> A/N: We would like to note that this fic, as it progresses, is in no way meant to represent an entirely realistic representation of the BDSM Scene. This is a fictionalized, somewhat Romanticized account, in which many of the intricate details are left between the lines. However, despite the poetic license, we hope the portrayal is thoughtful and enjoyable.

Patrice put down the phone less then gently and flipped her case folder shut. After being put on hold with the AUSA's office for the better part of a half-hour, she had been given some excuse about Donna being "out of the office, doing some target practice" at the local shooting range. She sighed and stood, she didn't have time to wait for Donna to get back to the office, not if she was going to have time to draft the motion before the end of the day. Patrice tossed a word about holding her calls to Jacob as she walked out of the office, still not quite believing she was headed to the shooting range of all places in the middle of the day.

She found the building and ducked inside. After an unnecessarily lengthy explanation to the man at the desk, she was waived back, and looked around for Donna. She was still a little surprised that she would be there in the first place, and upon sighting her, was even more surprised to see how practiced she appeared to be. Patrice walked over cautiously, feeling more than a little out of place.

Donna was down near one end of the range, covers over ears and protective glasses in place, testing out an assault rifle that the owners of the store had just acquired. She came to the range to clear her head. It was something that required complete focus, something that forced her to stop thinking about all of the other things in her life that she thought about too much already. She had been baffled the first time Justin had shown her how to shoot but over the years, it was something that she had learned to appreciate. She wished she had understood it sooner. She aimed again and stopped thinking about anything other than the target and her breathing. As she caught sight of Patrice out of the corner of her eye, she fired the last few bullets left in the clip, then put the rifle down. She was smiling as she took of the ear protection and turned toward Patrice. "Something tells me you're not here for fun."

Patrice closed the last few steps between them, surprised at how easy it was to be in the other woman's presence. She remembered herself and nodded apologetically, "No, it's not exactly my idea of fun I suppose, and actually I'm here about a case. Though.... I was surprised when your assistant told me I'd find you here."

Donna pulled off her safety glasses. "I'm surprised that my assistant told you where I am at all," she said without rancor. "So, what can I do for you?"

Patrice smiled a little mischievously, "I can be very persuasive. Actually, I'm second chair on the Leto case, and I want to give you notice before the end of the day that we're going to move to exclude in advance any testimony of his priors, as they're arguably irrelevant. If you're not planning on bringing them in the first place, then it'll save me drafting the motion." She was still a little on edge seeing Donna so casually standing in a shooting range, and Patrice was having to try an keep herself from jumping visibly when the other occupants fired.

If anyone else had asked, Donna probably would have told them to write the motion, but this was Patrice and she was in a good mood. "Don't waste your time. We're not going to use them." She chuckled slightly when Patrice couldn't suppress a small flinch. "Not used to so many loud noises?"

Patrice looked quizzically at Donna, "No, definitely not." Patrice relaxed as much as was possible under the circumstances. She had, after all, just been handed back her afternoon. "Honestly, I'm surprised you are."

Donna's smile widened. "Believe me, I had to be convinced. Would you like a lesson?" She lifted the rifle slightly.

Patrice slowly shook her head, looking at the gun Donna had set down like it might suddenly turn into rattlesnake. "No. No, I think I'll politely decline. Out of curiosity, who convinced you?"

"My..." Donna took a deep breath, using the time it bough her to test old wounds. She never talked about Justin. "Um... my former fiancé."

Patrice forced to remain impassive, though she was sure her surprise was written over her features. She knew there were a multitude of things she didn't know about Donna, but something as big as this wasn't computing. "Your..I....I didn't know you...uhh.....had one."

Donna's smile turned sad, but she couldn't help but be amused at Patrice's surprise. "He died almost 15 years ago. He was an Army Ranger before he went to law school."

Patrice nodded slowly, mind working on this new information, putting it in context. She said what came naturally to her, not thinking it fully through, "Why didn't you ever tell me?"

"I..." Donna ran her hand through her hair in a rare concession to...something, nervousness maybe, or fear. "You know what, would you like to get some coffee?" This wasn't really the place to discuss anything in depth.

Patrice nodded, mind still reeling slightly. She waited for Donna to gather her things.

Donna picked up the rest of her ammunition, her gear, and the rifle and headed toward the front counter. Once she gave the weapon back to the clerk, she disappeared into the locker room, returning a moment later with her purse. "I think there's a coffee shop down the street."

The blond vaguely thought about whether she owed her office a few more hours, but dismissed the idea, she had already put in more than enough time today. She followed Donna out of the building, and couldn't keep herself from feeling a little apprehension. She was starting to wonder why Donna had waited until now to bring up this part of her history.

 

There was, in fact, a coffee shop just down the street and Donna ducked in as soon as the group in front of the door cleared. Ordering coffee didn't take nearly as long as she would have liked, and soon she was sitting in a comfy chair opposite Patrice.

Patrice sipped her coffee, trying not to look too expectant. Though they had seemingly put their previous roles behind them, she didn't have the self assurance to push Donna for anything.

Donna wrapped her hands around her coffee cup. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you. It's not something I really talk about."

Patrice looked a little hesitant, answering in sympathetic tones, "It's alright Donna. You know you don't owe me an explanation. But if you want to talk, I'm here to listen."

"No." Donna waved her hand. "It isn't that. It's just... I've known you longer than I've probably known anyone save my sister and my mother, and I just realized that you know almost nothing about my life before we met." She wasn't even sure that she had mentioned her sister to Patrice before.

Patrice set down her coffee and leaned back slightly. What Donna said was completely true. The other woman almost never had talked about herself, especially not her past. In retrospect, Patrice realized it had been selfish in a way. Donna had withstood hearing about so many of Patrice's demons, helping her to rid them from her mind, and she never asked the same in return. The blond realized she had never so much as broached the subject of Donna's past. She ran her fingers over the arm of her chair, "No, you never seemed to want to talk about it. And I suppose I never found myself in a position to ask."

Donna chuckled, remembering the various positions that Patrice had been in and trying to picture her posing questions that Donna wouldn't have wanted to answer. She shrugged. "I probably wouldn't have answered anyway. But I'd like for us to be friends, and I think it would help if the relationship were a bit more equitable."

Patrice smiled down at her coffee a little as the mood lightened somewhat, "I'm sure you wouldn't have, and I'd like that. I'd like to think we have too much of a history to go our separate ways at this point."

"I agree." Donna smiled, any trace of melancholy erased. "So... Is there anything you've been dying to know?" Her eyes twinkled.

Patrice choked a little on the sip of coffee she had just taken. Why did Donna always manage to turn the tables on her when she least expected it? She collected herself before answering, "Well, for starters, when did you start shooting for a hobby?"

"Mmm..." It was long enough in the past that Donna had to think about it for a minute. "Justin and I were still dating when he first took me to a range. He wanted me to be able to go hunting with him when we visited his family and I thought he was completely crazy." She smiled at the memories. "But he was persistent. He kept threatening to call up a friend and stick me in a tank if I didn't come with him. And one day everything he was talking about sort of clicked." She shrugged. "It clears my mind."

Patrice realized she had gotten ahead of herself. As usual, Donna was more than happy to be direct and answer precisely what she had asked, but still leave her wondering. "Ok, I guess I have to ask, who was Justin?" She shifted, "If you don't mind my asking."

Donna couldn't think of a way to answer that question in a way that actually told Patrice anything. "He was my fiancé. He was hired by the first firm I worked at when I got out of law school. He came in a couple of years later and we had to share an office for a while."

Patrice took a moment to consider. She wasn't stupid; she knew Donna had a life before her, though the older woman had never divulged any details before. For some reason it was hard for her to think of Donna engaged, going to be married. When Patrice had started working with Donna, she had almost immediately found such a unique connection with the other woman, but it had never been even close to that. She wondered for a moment where the shift had come from, what had made Donna seek their relationship. She just nodded, "How long were you together?"

"Not long enough." She said it before she could stop herself. "It was just under five years. We hadn't been engaged for very long before he was killed."

Patrice started. She hadn't been prepared for that, even knowing how direct Donna was. She couldn't pull together a good response, "I'm sorry...I....what happend?"

"He was murdered. I got a call about a case. Someone said they had some information for me, and I had a meeting, so Justin said he'd go for me." Donna sipped her coffee. "And it turned out that someone didn't like the way I had handled their brother's case and he thought a bullet was an appropriate way to loge a complaint."

Patrice was really not prepared for that. She didn't quite know what to say, or do at that moment. "That must have been....I'm sorry Donna."

Donna waved her off. "I've coped, really." At the time, she had spent weeks in bed, utterly depressed, but she was long past that now. "It was terrible, and I spent a lot of time blaming myself, but it was a long time ago."

Patrice nodded, from what she knew of Donna, she had never shown that her past got in the way of her ambitions. Still, the blond knew that people had a multitude of ways to deal with trauma, and she wondered just how this had manifested itself for Donna. "I can tell you did. Is that how you ended up changing firms?"

She nodded. "It's hard to get promoted when you stop showing up to work for a few months."

"Well, I suppose that can't help, no. But how did you get past it? I've never heard of this part of your life, and you've always been so... in control since I've known you."

"My sister finally flew back in and dragged me out of bed, straight into the Pacific ocean." She smiled at the memory, though she certainly hadn't been happy about it at the time. "Which actually worked, and then I found a new firm and took the hardest cases I could find."

Patrice couldn't help a small sympathetic smile at Donna at the thought of anyone having the guts to dump her into the ocean. "Why did you seek me out, if you don't mind my asking? I've always wondered why me."

Donna shrugged. "I just... You had so much potential, and you were going to waste all of it thinking that you were better than you were. I couldn't let you do that. Not that you wanted the help, mind you." God, Patrice had been so arrogant back then. "And they were pressuring us to be better mentors. And despite my protestations to the contrary, you are an incredibly attractive woman." And really, she was practically the opposite of Justin. Patrice didn't have his easy charm or his overabundance of enthusiasm, but she made up for it in other ways.

Patrice smiled and looked at the ground for a minute, remembering how she had behaved when she had first met Donna. She had assumed that because she hadn't had trouble through school, and had landed the job on the first interview, she didn't need much mentoring. The industry in general, and Donna in particular had fixed that quickly, and she had come off better for it. She looked back up, "Yes, I suppose I did need it, didn't I?"

"Mmmm." Donna raised her eyebrows significantly. "Even I wasn't that cocky when I got out of law school."

She blushed, for the first time feeling free to make light of their past encounters, "I seem to remember coming into your office expecting praise on a lackluster attempt at a suppression motion." She chuckled quietly, "I think that was the first time you put me in the corner. I don't think I'd ever been so surprised in my life, though I'll admit over the years I did learn the titles of all the books on the shelves in that part of your office."

Donna chuckled. "It was a very convenient corner, though I think it was more about your attitude than some typos." It didn't matter either way now, and she smiled at the memories. She'd picked it for those bookshelves because you couldn't see it from outside of her office. "Knowing you, you can probably still recite the titles of a good number of them." Though she wasn't going to ask.

Patrice was smiling outwardly now, knowing that Donna was more than a little right in her assumption. A further question was nagging at her though, "Were there others? I mean...like me? I know I wasn't the only associate you mentored through the years."

Donna rubbed the back of her neck. "I've mentored other junior associates, but I've never taken them to bed with me. And I've had other relationships, though not many. And never for as long." Her relationship with Patrice had been unique and she didn't want to lessen it by comparing it to others, not even Erin had been a replacement for Patrice.

Patrice nodded. She had been prepared for just about anything at that moment, but was secretly relieved to know she hadn't been just one in a string of projects for Donna. She took a sip of her coffee, "And I take it Justin was quite different, in many ways of course?"

Donna nodded. "Entirely. He's the one person that I would have given it all up for. Not my job, but everything else. The first time he found a bag full of whips and cuffs he just stood there, completely slack jawed." She couldn't help but smile at the memory.

Patrice covered her mouth to keep a quiet laugh from escaping. She couldn't imagine Donna flustered like that, but sort of wished she could. She couldn't help herself, "What in the world did you manage to say to explain?"

"I just... told him that it was something I enjoyed. And then I told him I was bi and he got distracted imagining me having sex with another woman." She smirked.

Patrice nodded, still smiling. "I'm sure you did a more than adequate job of explaining it." She was still curious to think of Donna in such a seemingly normal relationship, but was too blindsided by the whole situation to formulate logical questions.

Donna nodded. "There's something different about a scene when you absolutely know, without a doubt, that you can't make the other person do anything."

She was remembering the night with Alex and pinning her to the ground. It was something that Justin had taught her, but never something she could have done to him, not if he hadn't wanted her to.

Patrice contemplated, trying to think if she could claim first-hand knowledge on the topic. However, she had never tried to turn on Donna, hadn't even considered it, to be honest, and after seeing Alex's subtle attempts, was glad she hadn't. Her coffee was getting low, and she raised an eyebrow at the other woman, "Another? Or do you need to get back to work?"

Donna shook her head. "I'm done for the day. And I'll always say yes to more coffee."

Patrice smiled, enjoying the easy atmosphere, and returned a moment later with fresh coffee. A curious look passed over her features as she handed the older woman her cup, "So.... just where did that move come from the other night with Alex? I don't remember ever being treated like that. Maybe I should have been more trouble?" She gave Donna a grin.

"Justin always worried about me more than he needed to. He wanted to make sure I coud take of myself if he wasn't around." And she used to joke that everything he was teaching her was pointless because that would never happen. She tried to push that thought away. "And the other night with Alex was me losing my temper."

She raised an eyebrow, she wasn't sure she'd heard Donna admit to that before. Patrice paused, watching as a shadow fell over Donna's features. She knew there was more than the other woman was saying. She had a sudden urge to move closer to her, to somehow comfort her, and as their connection had always been so physical, it was the first thing that came to mind. However, she restrained herself and just met Donna's gaze, "I'm sorry, it seems too little too late, but I really am."

"It's fine, really." She reached out and squeezed Patrice's hand reassuringly before letting go and smiling again. "And I'm glad you were never so much trouble."

Patrice smiled, "I think you like a little challenge."

Donna chuckled. "Occasionally. Though it isn't as if you were challenge free. You just weren't so... overt about it."

She grinned down at her coffee, then back up at Donna, "Good to know I didn't bore you."

At that, Donna laughed outright. "You were many things, but you were never boring." She finished her coffee and put the mug down on the table.

Patrice blushed just slightly, relaxing and putting down her coffee. She was enjoying clearing the air with Donna in a way she hadn't ever really be able to before. She felt her phone vibrate, and instinctively dug it out of her pocket, and smiled when she saw who it was. She put it back, intending to return the call later.

"Do you need to answer that?"

Patrice shrugged, smiling. "It's Alex. I can call her back." She was sure Donna knew her well enough to have known who it was as soon as Patrice did.

"You should call her." Donna gathered up her purse. "I should be getting back to my hotel anyway. I'm supposed to go apartment hunting later tonight."

"Oh, that's great. Good luck." She stood with Donna to walk her out. "Thank you for this... for... telling me, about everything."

Donna nodded. "You're welcome. And thanks. Hopefully I won't be living out of that hotel for too much longer. I'll invite you and Alex to the house warming."

She grinned, eyes flashing, "I can't speak for Alex, but I'd love that."

"Well, I have to find a place first, so don't hold your breath." She smiled as she hailed a cab. "I'm glad you tracked me down today." It felt good to finally talk to someone, someone she cared about, about everything that had happened.

Patrice turned to leave, she was going to call Alex while she walked, "Me too, and I'm sure you'll be seeing more of me if this federal case goes to trial." She was still slightly amazed at how easy it was now being with Donna. She smiled and turned, pulling out her phone as she went.

"I don't think I'll mind that. Of course, I'm going to beat you, but it's nothing personal." She opened the door to the cab. "Have a happy Thanksgiving."

Patrice waved slightly, shaking her head. Donna always did get the last word, even now. "You too Donna."

Donna slid into the cab, a smile on her face as it drove away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Backstory:
> 
> Donna/Justin - [Firsts](http://archiveofourown.org/works/56456)


	20. Presentation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Summary: Liz decides it's time to meet Patrice outside of work.
> 
> Disclaimer: Law and Order SVU belongs to Dick Wolf and NBC.
> 
> A/N: We would like to note that this fic, as it progresses, is in no way meant to represent an entirely realistic representation of the BDSM Scene. This is a fictionalized, somewhat Romanticized account, in which many of the intricate details are left between the lines. However, despite the poetic license, we hope the portrayal is thoughtful and enjoyable.

Alex smoothed her skirt as she waited for the elevator doors to open to Patrice's floor. She didn't want to give either of them time to go home and change in hopes that it wouldn't leave time for either to dwell too much on what might or might not happen that night. There had been nothing formal about Liz and Alex's relationship in quite some time, but good manners dictated that if Liz wanted to formally meet Patrice, Alex couldn't refuse. She knew it might be nothing more than that--drinks and shrimp cocktail--but she wasn't holding her breath. This was the first time she had done this, the first time it had been that important, and Alex forced a calm smile as she stuck her head into Patrice's office. "Ready to go?"

 

Patrice looked up and smiled at Alex. "Just about, let me just..." She stood and closed her file, glancing over the papers on her desk. She nodded, trying to make sure things were in order, in truth she hadn't gotten much done that afternoon, mind continually wandering to her evening plans. Patrice rounded the desk and got her things together. "Ok, shall we?"

A smile was her only response, and they were silent all the way to the car. Alex was glad she had driven that day; it gave her something other than Liz on which to concentrate. "I've never really had to do this before," she admitted. "But..." Alex glanced to Patrice and smiled. "I'm sure it will be fine. Liz just likes the formalities."

The blonde nodded, having a hard time reconciling her knowledge of the judge with Alex's past. She was mindlessly chewing her lip when Alex pulled into the garage behind the bar. She resisted the impulse to reach for Alex as they walked in.

If Patrice was resisting impulses, Alex was allowing herself to give in to at least the smallest ones. She took the blonde's hand and kissed her fingers gingerly before they could get too far. She hoped that gave Patrice some sense of reassurance, but it didn't do much for her as she spotted Liz already waiting. Out of habit, Alex looked at her watch. They were two minutes late.

Liz met Alex's eye as she and Patrice stepped closer. She smiled slightly, to herself, and stood as they approached. "Alex..." She leaned in and kissed Alex's cheek. "And Ms. LaRue." She offered Patrice her hand. "It's good to see you outside of chambers."

Patrice watched Liz's familiarity with Alex and felt her pulse increase, a mix of intrigue and jealousy running through her. She looked down for a slight second to compose herself, then pulled her mind together and took Liz's hand firmly as she would in any other situation. The blond felt a slight blush rise in her cheeks as Liz looked at her with a seeming calm that was so unlike how she was feeling in that moment.

"Liz." Alex returned the kiss before sliding into the semicircular booth, deliberately positioning herself between the two women. Her behavior, she knew, was something she would have to balance delicately. What she had with Liz was familiar enough to have become ingrained in her very muscles, but with Patrice, Alex let herself give over to instinct. And when the waiter appeared, she was grateful for the break in the moment. "Scotch for the judge, and I think vodka tonic will do for the two of us," she said.

"You're a bit late." It didn't really bother Liz, but she knew that mentioning it would make Alex worry, if only slightly, that she was offended, and Liz enjoyed teasing her. She looked deliberately at Patrice, trying to take her measure. "That was quite an argument on the Peterson case."

The waiter returned and Patrice took her vodka, taking a sip to steady herself before answering the judge. "Thank you, it was a the culmination of a long battle." Patrice was making an understatement, having spent the better part of a year on the case, but downplaying such things was part of the culture.

Alex shifted, considering, as the two women talked, just what those two minutes would cost her. She had always taken things seriously, even Liz's teasing. And at this point, she wasn't sure that the judge really was teasing.

"Well, congratulations." Liz sipped her scotch. "I have to say, I'm very curious about you. Alex got engaged and never bothered to introduce me to her fiancé, and from what I understand, the two of you haven't been involved for that long."

Patrice felt her color rising again, she was far from used to having to talk about her personal life with near strangers, and she and Alex had yet to really formalize what had been happening, instead both just following the moments where they led. She took a small sip and set the glass down, eyes following a trickle of condensation running down the side of the glass, "No, I suppose we haven't." She looked up at Liz finally, finding her strength of character, "What would you like to know about me?"

"Oh, nothing a simple question and answer session would tell me." She squeezed Alex's knee lightly, urging her to calm down. "Alex just isn't normally quite so taken so quickly." Really, Liz was curious about Patrice. She wanted to know what Alex saw in her and she wanted to be prepared to put Alex back together again if she needed to be.

 

Alex flushed as well and straightened stiffly to the point of pain. She wondered if she had pushed this too quickly, if was too early. So much of what she and Liz did was about firm boundaries and plans, but with Patrice there had been no plans. And yet, she wanted with all her heart for this to go smoothly. "As I recall, you were unavailable the night of the engagement party," she murmured, trying to save face.

 

There had been countless instances were Liz had talked about Alex as if she weren't there, but it had somehow always been easier to handle when Alex was naked and on her knees. This was entirely different. And even though Alex knew Liz was deliberately trying to keep Patrice off balanced, she wasn't sure why she was being subjected to that as well. "Well..." Alex trailed off, fingering her glass. She was so rarely at a loss for words.

Liz let go of Alex's knee, knowing that it wasn't really her place anymore. She also knew that this had to be just a bit like bringing a date home to mom for the first time. But she cared for Alex. She didn't want to see her get hurt, and she knew that her current actions could lead to that if Patrice got offended. "I'll stop giving you both a hard time."

Patrice regarded the older woman for a moment, trying to see if she was passing scrutiny so far. She could feel Alex sitting stiffly next to her and instinctively reached for the other blond, but stopped short of touching her, letting her hand fall back to her glass.

Alex's eye caught Patrice's hand, and she wished the blonde had completed her action. Inwardly, she tried to calm herself and forced a smile that finally did not look quite so forced. "Good. I was about to ask when getting drinks had become just like appearing before you in chambers."

Liz chuckled, trying to diffuse some of the tension. "I'm sorry. I'll stop being needlessly overprotective. Patrice, it really is very nice to meet you."

Patrice caught Liz's eyes for a moment, seeing them start to soften. "Likewise." She shifted back to more familiar ground, content to let the undercurrents of meaning work their own way in. "Hope they haven't assigned you too many cases since Judge Crispin stepped down last month."

Before she could stop herself, Alex made a face. "Honestly, it was past time; he was such a crotchety old bastard." She sipped her drink, knowing she would rather appear before Liz than him any day, but she avoided Liz's courtroom whenever she could.

Liz chuckled and shook her head. "Hell of a poker player, though." He was taking his wife and retiring to Arizona, and she was going to miss taking his money. "No, I only got a couple of his cases."

Feeling the mood lighten, Patrice slipped a little closer to Alex, letting down her guard, "So the rumors are true then? I thought the famous judges only poker night was a figment of the defense bar's imagination." She slipped her hand closer to Alex, gently working her fingers over the other woman's thigh.

Alex felt her own tensions start to drain slightly as she chuckled. "Actually, I hear Casey Novak had to interrupt one or two of them while I was away." She leaned into Patrice, allowing her whatever access she wanted, muscles simply working on their own, knowing that when Liz was there, the only one that was generally denied was herself.

"Somehow I missed both of those games, but I certainly heard about it later." Liz smiled, seeing the telltale signs that Alex was finally relaxing. "They're definitely not a figment. And you never want to get Lena Petrovsky going on the 5th Amendment when she's been drinking."

Patrice allowed herself to laugh at Liz's last comment, thinking it would be difficult to maintain her composure well at her next hearing with Judge Petrovsky. Feeling Alex not pull away from her touch, she continued, slipping her fingers over the hem of Alex's skirt. She focused again on Liz as she did so, "I'll do my best to remember that should it become an issue in the future."

It certainly wasn't Patrice's hand Alex expected to have inching up and underneath her skirt that night, but she merely shifted again, curious to see how far Patrice might go. It was almost like some of her first experiences all over again, and as surreal as it was to be sitting between both Liz and Patrice, Alex felt more at ease. "I prefer not to get Petrovsky going about anything, as she seems fond of making sure I end up in a cell..."

Liz smiled at that memory. "So long as I don't have to bail you out anymore." She wondered if Patrice realized that she knew what she was doing to Alex.

She didn't, which is why she continued, trusting Alex to let her know if she overstepped. Patrice wasn't sure what was making her feel so compelled to touch the other blond.

"I...don't think you'll have to worry about that," Alex said, knowing she would have to tell Liz about her decision to leave the DA's office. She tried to keep a straight face, to keep her breathing from becoming too quick, too jagged at Patrice's touch.

"That's reassuring." Liz raised her eyebrows at them both, surprised that Alex would simply let someone touch her like that. Well, someone that wasn't her. She wondered if she should say anything, or if she should wait a few more minutes and see what developed. She decided to wait.

Patrice's progress was halted by the return of their waiter asking if they would be having a second round. She looked to the other women, silently inquiring how the night would progress. Unlike Alex's scheming to meet Donna, tonight didn't yet have such purpose and she was already anticipating.

Alex nodded, indicating that they would be staying at least that long. And when the waiter turned away, she shifted to show Patrice that she didn't mind if she continued. It was easier, almost soothing to have that to focus on the blonde's touch when she had to say this to Liz. "I'm thinking about leaving the DA's office."

As soon as Alex said the words, Liz found that she wasn't as shocked at she thought she would be. "Well, everyone leaves eventually," she said pragmatically. "Do you know where you're going yet?"

Patrice's fingers froze for a moment at Alex's admission, turning to focus on the other blond more intently. She knew Alex would tell Liz sooner rather than later, but she hadn't been quite prepared for it now, nor for Liz to be so nonchalant about it.

Alex licked her lips and squirmed lightly, wondering why in God's name Patrice had stopped. She wanted the distraction, the small thrill. And she was pretty sure that Liz knew exactly what was going on. Even if Alex didn't know how, she had known Liz long enough to see her pick up on the most minute things. "No, not yet, but I'll make some calls soon." She smiled to Patrice. "And Patrice has some contacts..."

Liz nodded. "If you need me to make any calls..."

"I appreciate that," Alex replied. When the waiter came back with their drinks, she slipped him her card. Whatever came next, this was going to be the last drink.

She smiled back, sliding close enough to Alex that she could trace her toe along the other blonde's leg, resuming her light touch with her fingers. She bit back a slight grin when she reached an inch higher and found Alex's stockings only went to mid-thigh.

Alex drew in a sharp breath and took more than a sip of her drink. She tried to suppress a shiver, only just managing.

Liz smiled at Alex and Patrice as she watched Alex try not to let on too much. "Are you two having fun over there?"

Her first instinct was to pull back, to cover, but something in the older woman's tone kept Patrice from shying away from the moment. Liz's easy manner spoke to her history with Alex, and strength in general and it was enough to make Patrice want to see more. She lowered her eyes to the table, then focused on Liz, still smiling, "It's been quite a pleasurable evening so far." As she spoke, Patrice slid her thumb quietly under the top of Alex's stocking, gently massaging the other woman's skin.

Alex closed her eyes briefly and tried to steady herself. "It could be more so..." she suggested, voice not as sure as she would have liked. But Alex knew that either woman, having had time to plan, to think, could refuse, could simply leave it at drinks.

Liz smirked. "I'm sure it could." She looked at Patrice to see if the other woman was in agreement.

Patrice decided to forgo a verbal answer and instead leaned over and pressed her lips to Alex's cheek, keeping her eyes trained on Liz. After a moment she leaned back as calmly as she could and took up her drink again.

"Alright then." Alex flushed at Patrice's kiss because it made her immediately wet. She felt relief, though; the rest would be easy. It would fall into place. "Liz, shall we go to your house?"

"Only if you promise that my house won't end up a part of the defense bar's collective imagination," she teased as she stood and waited for them to join her.

Patrice smiled again, and offered her hand to Alex as she stood. "I'll keep it in strictest confidence." She felt a shiver as they made for the door, already wondering how the night would be, how different from Donna Liz might be. Patrice hadn't been with anyone in that way except for Donna, and she started to feel some of the familiar anticipation rising.

Alex squeezed Patrice's fingers. They parted from Liz in the parking garage, and Alex was quiet on the drive. She made it automatically and was almost surprised when they arrived and Patrice was in the car with her.

Liz arrived just a minute before Alex and Patrice, and unlocked the door for them as they walked up the front steps. "Can I get either of you something to drink?"

Patrice instinctively nodded at Liz, not settled enough to think if she was being presumptuous. She looked around the house, not knowing what she had expected to see but deciding it seemed to fit Liz well. She chewed her lip, old habits returning that had gone uncorrected for years.

"No," Alex said, pursing her lips at Patrice as she put her hand on the small of her back. "I think we're fine." Patrice was an adult, but Alex didn't want to go through that routine again. She felt more at ease in Liz's house, more sure of herself. "But let me pour you some scotch." She smiled deferentially and went to Liz's wet bar.

Liz smiled and waved Alex off. "Don't bother." She turned on a couple of lights. "Why don't we just skip the pleasantries and go upstairs?"

Patrice felt a shiver run down her spine, stomach quickening pleasantly when Alex touched her with that hint of calm authority. She glanced at her, then at Liz and nodded quietly, trying to get her mind settled. However, the uncertainty and newness kept her on edge as she followed Alex up the narrow brownstone stairs.

With each step, Alex's calm grew. She reached back, possessively taking Patrice's hand. They followed Liz into her bedroom, where Alex knew there were quite a few less than harmless props expertly hidden. But she didn't dwell on what Liz might or might not do to them next. They were all there, and that was what she wanted. She could let go of the past and move forward.

Liz sat in her chair and faced Alex and Patrice. "Why don't you both get more comfortable?"

Alex nodded and turned to Patrice. She began to undress her with a restrained efficiency, her movements practiced. "Relax," she whispered, fingers brushing over Patrice's nipples, something meant as much as a show for Liz as for Patrice's pleasure.

Patrice watched as Alex settled, and immediately could feel the history, her training. She sucked in a sharp breath and stood a little taller, her memory finally bringing back her own conditioning. Though it wasn't Donna, Patrice felt the same type of presence in Liz and didn't want to be ashamed of her behavior later. As her clothes were quietly removed, she felt her skin tingle as she felt Liz's eyes on her, appraising. The blond knew she should look down, but couldn't take her eyes off of Alex just yet.

Liz stood and walked over to them. She ran a hand down Alex's back. "The two of you look good together." She leaned in and kissed Alex's neck.

Alex shivered lightly and turned towards Liz. "Thank you." Her hands were immediately working again, this time undressing Liz. She could feel Patrice's eyes on her, and that made her straighten. Alex had to admit that she loved an audience, and she always felt she performed best in front of one.

When Alex turned away Patrice couldn't help herself and she reached out to touch her, slipping her fingers under the waist of the other blond's skirt, training along her skin. Patrice knew it was out of line, but she had never been able to help pushing a bit in these situations, even if just for the thrill of seeing if she would get away with it. It was transparent, but such pleasures had always been part of the draw for her.

Liz chuckled and stepped out of her own skirt. She started to remove Alex's clothing and kissed her. "So, just which one of you is pretending to be in charge tonight?" There was something about their dynamic that told her it wasn't something that was settled.

Alex licked her lips as she glanced over her shoulder to Patrice. "I wasn't aware that either of us needed to pretend to be anything with you here." She turned back to Liz and smirked almost too deliberately. There was room to push; they had been together long enough, and she was curious to see how Patrice's presence would change the interaction. It had been a long time since there had been someone else. "Or are you trying to tell us that you're feeling the need to bottom tonight?"

Liz laughed at Alex. "You wouldn't know what to do with me if I decided to let you." She pulled away from Alex and turned to Patrice, looking her over. She trailed a finger from Patrice's collarbone, down between her breasts.

At that, Patrice did look down out of pure habit. She had been ready to move back to Alex, to be obstinate and try to continue to touch the other woman, but Liz's touch was so casual and yet so sure, and Patrice's body responded immediately. She had to concentrate to not automatically sink to her knees.

Alex's hands twitched as she stopped herself from crossing her arms. Alex would know perfectly well what to do with Liz, even though she knew she would never be allowed. And in truth, that was the way she preferred it. No one could manipulate her anger the way Liz could, not even Adrien. "Then obviously it's up to you to decide the pecking order."

"You can kneel." Liz pressed Patrice down, then turned to Alex. "And you can remember who you're taking to." She walked over to her dresser and pulled out a collar. She tossed it to Alex and trusted that Alex's training would reassert itself.

She only barely registered the older woman's demand to Alex. In that moment Patrice didn't...couldn't protest to Liz's gentle but demanding touch, so full of promise. She sunk gracefully to the floor and glanced up at Liz, before lowering her eyes automatically to the ground.

Alex caught the collar but not as gracefully as she would have liked. She licked her lips as if to speak, as if considering it, and against her better judgment, Alex did. "I haven't forgotten." She took Patrice's chin, straightening the slight tilt in her head, and she carefully buckled the collar around the blonde's neck.  
Patrice didn't look up when Alex put the leather around her neck, but she felt her breath quicken. The collar was thinner and more delicate than the one Donna had given to her, but was no less supple. She could tell it had been well used, and from the quality she could gather it was Alex's. Realizing this she shivered, knowing Alex didn't find her presence an intrusion on her past.

 

Liz chuckled. "It seems you have." Liz found a second collar and walked back to Alex. "You can kneel too, and don't think that I'm going to forget this little rebellion."

While the small act of defiance was not altogether uncharacteristic of her scenes with Liz, Alex knew it was bold even in its subtlety. No other had ever worn her collar, but just as Donna had given something of her relationship with Patrice to Alex in giving her Patrice's collar, Alex used the moment to tell Liz that she was, without a doubt, willing to share this night, this moment...that there would be no questions or regrets later. And she knew Patrice would understand as well. She sank to her knees in front of Liz, keeping her back straight as she lowered her eyes. "Of course, Liz."

Liz buckled the collar around Alex's neck and ran her fingers through Alex's hair, then she turned her attention to Patrice. "How do you think that I should punish her?" She was curious about just how much experience Patrice had and what she would suggest.

Patrice glanced up in surprise, she had been just starting to settle into the role when Liz's question shook her. She paused, not wanting to speak until she could do so clearly. Patrice had seen Alex marked, and knew what Liz was capable of. However, she didn't want to see Alex like that so soon, she needed to prepare. Instead she decided on something simpler, "Make her wait." By Alex's earlier behavior she felt taking some control might be appropriate. The blond almost smirked, wondering if she should suggest the corner, but figured Liz would have her own style.

Alex pursed her lips, muscles flexing as she forced herself not to look up. She was prepared for a whipping, a flogging...even a spanking or something equally as, she had always secretly believed, beneath her, but Patrice's simple, sure punishment took her by surprise. She felt her cheeks and chest grow pink.

Liz licked her lips. "That's... certainly an idea worth considering." One that Liz liked quite a bit. She found a set of cuffs and put them on Alex's wrists. "Stand up and go to the bed" Once Alex complied, she clipped the cuffs together and lifted Alex's wrists above her head to a hook hidden in the bedframe.

Flexing as if she had never been in the position before, Alex tested the bonds. She tried to control her face, not to let her annoyance show. To Alex's surprise, she felt jealousy rising in her chest; this wasn't a night on which she wanted to be passive.

 

Liz motioned Patrice to stand. "And what should I do with you?" Patrice shifted, she wasn't used to having to make choices while in her position. She couldn't help her usual edge from returning for a moment, she glanced over at Alex, hands clasped a little harder behind her back and reined herself in, "Whatever you would like, I think it won't take much to keep her attention."

Liz smiled at Patrice. "I think you're right about that." Liz pulled Patrice in for a kiss, making sure that Alex had a good view and she ran her hands up Patrice's sides and over the sides of her breasts.

Patrice leaned into Liz shamelessly, moaning at the touch. It was a breach of control, but Liz's sure manner got the better of the blond. She glanced out of the corner of her eye at Alex and felt herself even more aroused when she saw the other woman watching them so intently.

 

Alex narrowed her eyes just slightly as she watched. There was an ease between she and Liz, a predictability that was not uncomfortable or boring, but having Patrice between them presented an element she could not completely reconcile.

"Out of practice?" Liz pinched Patrice's nipples, and glanced at Alex. "Alex, I think you should tell me what Patrice likes." The blond swallowed and drew in a breath that was less calming than anticipated. "She likes a firm hand," Alex said, finding her voice. Perhaps it was a bit of payback, but that didn't make it any less true.

Patrice almost moaned again at Alex's words, and closed her eyes trying to slow her quickening breath. She knew she was not keeping in control, and tried to keep her body from taking over her mind, but could feel it slipping. Patrice could tell that Liz was more than capable of doing what Alex had suggested, but she was anticipating a marked difference from Donna's almost shockingly blunt manner, there was a refinement and control to Liz that was keeping Patrice pleasantly on edge.

"Thank you." Liz stepped away from Patrice and pulled a pair of nipple clamps from her dresser. She smiled at Alex as she put them on her, then tugged lightly at the chain linking them. She turned back to Patrice. "A firm hand..." She ran her hand appraisingly down Patrice's side. "I think I can provide that." She wrapped a finger through the ring on Patrice's collar and held her in place.

Alex sucked in a sharp breath at the sharp sensation of Liz tugging on the chain. She bit back a moan when Liz stepped away and straightened in her bonds, watching.

Patrice stared levelly into Liz's eyes, breath quickening. For a moment she forgot herself and the temptation was too much. The blond leaned in quickly and kissed the older woman, knowing immediately it was beyond bad manners. At that second however,she was so needing of the contact, the touch, that she felt the ramifications would be worth it.

Liz shook her head at the kiss. "You are adorable." She smirked, "And incorrigible, I'd bet. I'm going to have to punish you for that." Liz tugged her over to the bench at the foot of her bed, and pushed her down and over it.

Alex lifted, strained her neck to try to see better. But she could only see Liz's face. She pulled, wanting to watch Patrice, to see the punishment in full.

Patrice let out a noise of surprise and arousal as Liz pushed her down, leaving her exposed, waiting. She was panting now, still tasting Liz on her lips, and she could her and feel Alex trying to see her. Patrice slowly lowered her head to rest on her wrists, and listened to her racing heartbeat while she waited for Liz to repay her for her disobedience.

Liz pulled a flogger from her dresser and trailed the strands over Patrice's ass. "Are you ready?"

Patrice bit back a whimper, mind jumping from arousal to trepidation with each second. She nodded quietly, not trusting herself to speak clearly. With the nod, Liz brought the flogger down on the back of Patrice's thighs. She wasn't going to punish Patrice too severely, but she didn't want her manner to betray that. Patrice's skin flushed and turned red almost instantly. It was beautiful and Liz's breath caught in her throat. She wondered if Alex enjoyed the view as much as she did.

Alex could just see Patrice's skin pink, and she knew Liz well enough to see how that affected her. She moaned, wanting to touch, to better to see, to be party to something so compelling.

Patrice jumped when Liz started, and she let the sting sharpen the moment. After a few moments she let a moan slip in response to Alex's, rocking back into the blows as Liz delivered them. "Please....oh...." She didn't fully register that she had spoken, but thinking of both of them watching her was too much.  
"Please..?" Liz wanted to see what Patrice would ask for, if it would be for her to stop, or for more pain, or for something else entirely.

Patrice only registered she had spoken aloud when Liz posed the question. She wasn't sure quite what she was asking for, whether it was for release, or to touch them, or just for Liz not to stop. She pressed her legs together and tried to give an answer, "Please.... just don't stop."

Alex drew in a sharp breath, resisting the urge to press her legs together to try to satisfy the heat pulsing between them. She pulled at the restraints, wanting to see Patrice's face, wanting to be the one answering that request.

Liz smiled and kept flogging Patrice. "Good girl." She paused just long enough to reach over to Alex and tug on the chain to her nipple clamps.

The blond felt her knees weaken as her arousal became almost painful. She felt a few tears at the corners of her eyes, but not of pure pain, Liz hadn't pushed her that far. Her fingers were in her own hair, pulling it to keep herself from trying to move to touch Alex, or Liz, or just to find contact.

"Please," Alex felt herself whisper, arching into Liz's touch. She squirmed as she tried to straighten herself, to take back her begging. it was unlike her, and she wondered if Liz would delight in it.

Liz smirked at Alex's words. She tossed the flogger aside and ran her hands over Patrice's ass and down her thighs. She pressed her fingers between Patrice's legs, feeling how wet she was. "Do you think Alex has waited long enough? I'm of a mind to give her her own collection of welts before the night's over." She kept touching Patrice, sliding her fingers in and out of her. "Should I do it now, or should I wait. It's up to you."

"Oh...." Patrice's voice faded off into a moan when Liz touched her, the mix of pain and pleasure almost too much. She wasn't sure which would be better, watching Liz with Alex while she was so on edge, or seeing the other blond squirm longer. In the end her mind relented, and she couldn't wait for gratification. "Untie her....please." Patrice pressed back towards Liz when she spoke, pushing her further.

Alex stilled, waiting to see if Liz would oblige Patrice. She might be flogged or whipped, but she would take the pain in order to simply be a part of what was happening, to see Patrice's face, the marks on her skin.

Liz pulled her fingers from Patrice and stepped away. "If that's what you want." She lifted Alex's hands and unhooked them just long enough to reattach them behind Alex's back.

Patrice stood when Liz backed away, watching intently as the older woman untied her, but still left her restrained. Patrice's mind was still swimming from the punishment and she wanted, needed to touch Alex before whatever was to come next. She looked away from Alex to Liz, "Please..." Patrice moved to climb onto the bed but stopped just short, waiting for permission.

At Patrice's strained voice and a glimpse of her reddened skin, Alex straightened, arching her back prettily and trying to stay in perfect form, hoping for a reward.

Liz motioned Patrice onto the bed, then turned to Alex, purposefully ignoring just how hard Alex was trying to please her. "I think Patrice is being very good tonight, don't you?" She tugged at the chin to the nipple clamps again.

Alex shuddered lightly and closed her eyes for a brief moment. "Yes...yes, Liz."

Patrice climbed eagerly onto the bed, stopping just short of Alex, she clasped her hands behind her to keep from running them hungrily over the other blond's captive body. She gave Liz a quiet, pleading glance pensively, hoping the exchange would end well for her.

"And have you been good?" Liz kept tugging on the chain, not sure yet if she wanted to get weights out for it.

"Yes," Alex answered breathlessly without stopping to consider.  
"Have you?" Liz pulled the small weights out and clipped them beneath the clamps. She only gave Alex a second to get used to it before she started pushing her toward the bed. She unclipped her wrists. "Bend over and brace yourself against the bedpost."

Alex did as she was told, biting back a whimper. She felt the weights more acutely as she bent, bracing herself out of habit, out of muscle memory. But she fidgeted, more aware of Patrice's presence than before.

Patrice watched and couldn't help a whimper, she was balanced between sympathy, the urge to reach out and comfort Alex, and growing arousal at the entire scene. Eventually she fell back on her training and sat back on her heels quietly to watch how Liz would proceed.

Liz picked the flogger up and ran it down Alex's back. "Since you've been so good," she addressed Patrice, "I'm going to let you touch yourself." She motioned for Patrice to spread her legs where both she and Alex would be able to watch her. "And you can come when I've finished whipping Alex." She tapped the handle of the flogger against one of the weights, making it swing slightly. "How many do you think you can take tonight?"

"Thirty," Alex replied, defaulting to the number even though she knew she would regret it later. It would prolong Patrice's agony, and even through the pain, she would get to watch. She was already wet with anticipation.

When she registered Liz's comment, Patrice shivered, she usually didn't like the request but knew it would provide both a distraction and a temptation to Alex. She looked at the other blond, already waiting for Liz to start and slowly slipped her fingers between her legs.

Liz smiled knowing that Patrice could see her and that Alex couldn't. "Thirty." They would see if Alex could make it that far. She pulled her arm back and started whipping Alex, setting up an easy rhythm.

Alex began to count, voice wavering as she watched Patrice so obviously enjoying herself. She could imagine the look Liz was wearing as well, and it did nothing for her composure.

Patrice shut her eyes, knowing they were watching, she was already wet, and it was hard to wait.

Liz paused when she got to 15. Between watching Alex strain backwards and the weights swinging and watching Patrice push her fingers into herself Liz was incredibly pleased and incredibly aroused.

Alex's nipples felt as raw as the skin on her back and buttocks was beginning to feel, but she drew in a deep breath, indicating that she was ready to continue. If Liz thought she wouldn't last, she would prove her wrong. And she wanted to see Patrice under the strain.

Patrice paused and opened her eyes when she heard the lashes stop, looking at Alex. She was caught for a moment, wanting to ask if she was alright, but didn't knowing that Alex knew how to stop if she wanted.

Liz started again, her lashed coming down slightly harder now, leaving bright red welts in their wake.

As much as she tried to stop them, tears began to stream down Alex's cheeks, and she began to choke on her words as she counted. The nipple clamps felt as if they would drag her down, and each blow was like a crushing weight on top of that.

Patrice tried to continue, but hearing Alex's voice waiver gave her pause and she stopped, watching. The blond then tried to focus, thinking of the reward rather than the punishment, and continued slowly, then with more purpose.

Liz delivered the last few blows then tossed the flogger aside. It only took another second for her to push her fingers into Alex and pull the nipple clamps off. "You can come." She directed it at both of them.

Alex moaned loudly even as she flinched at the quick, sure touches. She locked eyes with Patrice, daring her to look away, and she pressed back into Liz's fingers, so close to the edge.

Patrice stared back at Alex, breath quickening immediately. She slid her fingers faster, bringing herself to the edge quickly, letting out small whimpers.

Liz kept touching Alex, pushing her fingers into her harder as she brushed her clit with her thumb. Her eyes were as train on Patrice as Alex's were and Patrice's whimpers where making her stomach clench.

It did not take much beyond Patrice's whimpers combined with Liz's touch to make Alex clench at her center, moaning low in throat as she arched and came.  
Whens she saw Alex let go, Patrice pressed into herself, and followed after quickly, never taking her eyes off of Alex.

Liz smiled at both of them and helped Alex to the bed. She knew that they would both want the physical contact after having been separated for most of the night. And she knew that they would both need a moment to recover.

Alex took a moment to simply lie on the cool sheets before moving to take Patrice in her arms. She kissed her deeply, possessively and held her close, knowing Liz would enjoy the little show.

Patrice moaned into the kiss, finally relaxing fully in Alex's arms, running her fingers through her hair. She wasn't paying attention to much of anything but the other blond's touch, though she was well aware they were being watched.

Liz sat on the edge of the bed and watched them kiss, holding each other close. She was glad that Alex had found someone who seemingly made her happy, and she was relieved to see that some of the uneasiness that had plagued Alex since her return was gone. She gently ran a hand down Alex's side.

At the touch, Alex looked up, a slow, easy smile coming to her face. Her limbs ached, and she could still feel the sting of the flogger, but she could not deny her particular attachment to Liz. "I think we should thank Liz," she said, turning back to Patrice.

Patrice leaned back slightly, almost reluctantly releasing Alex's lips to follow her gaze. She nodded in agreement at the Alex silently. Smiling Still, Alex crawled atop Liz, kissing her reverently. She was silently asking permission to proceed, for both of them.

Liz returned the kiss, cupping the back of Alex's head. She sighed as the kiss ended and relaxed, giving them permission to do as they liked. Alex moved to one side, turning to Patrice, inviting her to join them. She was idly rolling Liz's nipples between her fingers, waiting.

Patrice slipped over to them and leaned in to kiss Liz quietly, much less forcefully than she had before.  
Liz pulled Patrice closer, cupping one of her breasts lightly and arching into Alex's hands.

Without another thought, Alex dipped, kissing down Liz's stomach. She parted the older blonde's legs easily, reverently as she had done countless times before, and slowly, she kissed up Liz's thighs before beginning to lick her evenly.

Patrice glanced down at Alex, then turned back and kissed Liz again, lazily bringing her hand up to brush over the older woman's breasts. She slipped the other hand lower, sliding her fingers in Alex's hair, feeling her move attentively between Liz's legs.

Liz moaned into the kiss and arched against Alex's mouth. She was picturing the twin set of bruises that they would have the next day and the though made her squirm. She was already close, and Alex wasn't taking her time. Liz sucked in a breath and pull Patrice in for another kiss.

Finally, Alex pushed her fingers into Liz, curling them back towards herself as she pressed her tongue into her clit. She knew that would be enough, and she flicked her eyes upwards to watch the two women.

Patrice closed her fingers in Alex's hair and dipped to brush her tongue over Liz's nipple, stroking the other with her fingers, more quickly now.

That was all it took and Liz shuddered against Alex's fingers. She pulled Patrice closer and nuzzled against her neck.

When Alex pulled away, she was smiling. She joined the two, settling on Liz's other side and stroking her fingers down Patrice's back, content.

Patrice shivered a little at the touch, but Alex was gentle, and she was relaxed from the night. As Liz's breath slowed to match the other women's, Patrice moved closer, pressing her lips gently against Liz's shoulder. Liz closed her eyes at the kiss, content to lie between Patrice and Alex for as long as they wanted to stay.


	21. Coincidence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Summary: At Donna's housewarming, Alex discovers she has more in common with Patrice's mentor than she realized.
> 
> Disclaimer: Law and Order SVU belongs to Dick Wolf and NBC.
> 
> A/N: We would like to note that this fic, as it progresses, is in no way meant to represent an entirely realistic representation of the BDSM Scene. This is a fictionalized, somewhat Romanticized account, in which many of the intricate details are left between the lines. However, despite the poetic license, we hope the portrayal is thoughtful and enjoyable.

Donna moved through the people toward the door. There was a good turn out for the party, though she didn't think that she had been in New York long enough to know quite so many people. Granted, there were a few that she didn't recognize at all, but that didn't bother her. She didn't bother to put down her glass of champagne as she opened the door.

 

"I'm glad we could both get off of work enough to make it tonight." Patrice glanced over, and shifted a little closer to Alex as the door was opened. Alex squeezed Patrice's hand before Donna opened the door. She was feeling much calmer about this meeting than the last; it seemed that they were all on equal footing. But Patrice's blush upon entering did not go unnoticed.

 

Donna, as always, exuded a gracious confidence, and Patrice gave her a smile as they went inside. "Thank you for the invite, glad to see you found a place." Patrice looked around, remembering the first home of Donna's she had been in, and blushed a little at the memory as she noticed some of the decor was the same. She unbuttoned her coat and nodded at Donna, "It suits you."

"You've had a good turn out..." she commented as she took her coat off as well. "Congratulations."

"Thank you. Come in. Let me take your coats." Donna took them and put them in the coat closet. "I'm glad you could both make it. Let me get you something to drink." She really was glad that Patrice and Alex had accepted her invitation, as Patrice was one of the few people there that she was actually close to.

Patrice finished taking off her coat, noticing the voices emanating from the other rooms. Apparently, they were far from the first guests, and she was intrigued to find out who would be in attendance. The legal community was large, but not large enough that people weren't known by name, if not by face. She knew Donna would already know what she drank, but answered her anyway. "Vodka if you have it."

"I'll have champagne," Alex added. She put her hand on the small of Patrice's back, unconsciously guiding her in as she looked around. Donna had good taste, but she wouldn't have expected any less.

"Of course." There was a bar set up in the living room and it only took her a moment to return with their drinks. They had moved out of the entryway and into the house proper, but they weren't difficult to find. "Here you are."

Patrice took her drink, still looking over the room. "Thank you, how long did you say you'd been here?" Patrice took a sip as she waited for the answer, her composure heightened as she noticed immediately several faces in the crowd she recognized.

"In the house? Just a few weeks, actually." Moving had gone incredibly smoothly, but most of her things had already been in storage nearby, so she hadn't expected anything less. She had just hired someone else to do it while she took a weekend trip back to DC. It was remarkably stress free.

"I don't know where you found the time for all of this," Alex said, indicating the well put together room. She smiled. "It's really is nice." She noticed several faces in the crowd she recognized as well, and she was already mentally planning job strategy for polite conversations.

Patrice smiled a little, enjoying how relaxed the three of them could still be together. It took strength of character to manage to separate the different threads of relationships between them. Patrice wasn't sure where, if anywhere it might go, but was glad for the sort of equilibrium that had developed so quickly. She took a sip, and swirled the ice in her vodka, noticing Stephen Williams, with whom she had litigated more than a few cases, standing across the room. She excused herself to pull him aside for a moment, they got along well and she never missed an opportunity to stay informed on the big cases.

She smiled a little, enjoying how relaxed the three of them could still be together. It took strength of character to manage to separate the different threads of relationships between them. Patrice wasn't sure where, if anywhere it might go, but was glad for the sort of equilibrium that had developed so quickly. She took a sip, and swirled the ice in her vodka, noticing Stephen Williams, with whom she had litigated more than a few cases, standing across the room. She excused herself to pull him aside for a moment, they got along well and she never missed an opportunity to stay informed on the big cases.

There was a point when very little got by Adrian when it came to social events in the legal community in New York. But since he left Columbia, he hadn't stayed in touch with that side of it. This, however, was different. He rang the bell and shifted the small bouquet of flowers he was carrying; Adrian knew Donna wouldn't mind, but it was impolite not to bring the hostess something.

Donna looked toward the door when the doorbell rang and excused herself from Alex's company to answer it. When she opened it, she was utterly shocked to see Adrian standing on the other side. "Adrian. God," She smiled widely. They exchanged emails occasionally, but it had been years since she had seen him. She hadn't even known that he was still in New York. "Come in, come in." She opened her arms to hug him.

Adrian met the hug, a smile on his face creasing the lines around his eyes. He was still tan, still looked younger than he was. And his hair was still dark silver; though, it had only been changing to that, prematurely, when he first met Donna. "I hope you don't mind my just showing up."

"Of course not." Donna took the flowers and threaded her arm through his. "You look fantastic. If I had known you were still in town, I would have invited you." They hadn't been involved since she had been in law school and he had been trying to get tenure, but it had never been a serious relationship in that sense and they had remained friends after it had ended. And it was incredibly good to see him again.

"Technically, I'm not. I've settled down at Yale now." He smiled as he pressed his hand to her arm. "But I heard a rumor that you were here, so I thought this might be the perfect time for a visit."

Alex was moving across the room to join Patrice when she caught sight of Donna again, and when she saw the flash of a smile and that silver hair, she froze, eyes wide.

Her laugh was calculated, as was her smile, though she didn't have to consciously create either anymore. Williams was in actuality one of the least interesting people she worked with, but had a surprisingly high number of connections amongst the top firms of the city. As he finished his story that she wasn't particularly listening to anyway, she smiled and glanced over to see Alex turn and go back the way she came. Patrice didn't give it that much thought, she was on the verge of broaching the subject of any openings in the near future he might happen to know of.

"Well, it is, and you're always welcome." She squeezed his arm and lent into his shoulder. "God Adrian, I can't believe that you just showed up on my doorstep. It's a wonderful housewarming present." They walked back toward the living room, toward Alex.

Alex blinked as she swallowed. She realized that she was gaping like an undergrad and that she had nearly dropped her glass. "Adrian," she said a little breathlessly.

Adrian stopped short. "Alex Cabot?" He smiled and leaned in to kiss her cheek. "It seems like it's a night for reunions." He wondered how Donna and Alex knew each other, or rather, how well.

Donna was just as surprised. "You know each other?"

"We..." Alex blushed. There was something about the kiss that made her feel like it was her first semester in law school again. But Adrian had always been able to do things like that. And there he was smiling again.

"It's been a very long time," he said. "I believe the last time we saw each other was sometime after Alex graduated Columbia."

Donna raised her eyebrows. "I stopped talking to you for a few years, and you turned into a dirty old man." though she knew he wouldn't have been that old when Alex was in law school. She pushed against his ribs teasingly. Of all of the things that she thought she might have in common with Alex, Adrian certainly wasn't one of them.

Adrian chuckled lightly. "One wonders if you've discovered just how difficult Alex is to resist," he teased, making Alex blush. She wasn't exactly expecting to have this link to Donna either.

"Well, one's just going to have to keep wondering." Donna gave him a significant look. It wasn't something she was going to talk about with him in a room full of people. She didn't know if she would talk about it at all. He knew just how private she kept her personal life. "Actually, Alex is dating an old friend of mine." She looked to where Patrice was mingling.

"Oh?" Adrian returned the significant look, raising his eyebrows. "Well, you two simply must introduce me."

Patrice had timed it perfectly. She reached out and took Williams' offered card with the private numbers of several hiring partners just as she finished her vodka, giving her the opportunity to walk away under the guise of 'refreshing her drink.' She gave him a last smile, and turned to walk back through the crowd, tucking the card into her purse as she noticed Donna and Alex talking to a man she didn't recognize.

"Well, it looks like she's coming over, so that won't be a problem." Donna finally let of Adrian 's arm. "Let me put these somewhere," she motioned with the flowers, "and get you a drink." She was sure Alex could handle the introductions.

Alex was standing noticeably straighter out of habit, and she had to keep herself from taking Donna's place on Adrian 's arm. "Patrice...just in time to meet an old...friend." She and Adrian had never really developed the easy friendship that he and Donna had.

Patrice pulled her shoulders back and politely reached out her hand to Adrian, grasping his in a firm handshake, not unlike the manner in which she would greet opposing counsel in the hall of the courthouse. "Patrice LaRue, nice to meet you. Where do you know each other from?" There was now an energy in the group, belying undertones of history that she knew spoke far more than the polite introductions illustrated.

Adrian warmly returned her handshake. "I taught political science at Columbia while Alex was there for law school. I suppose I met Donna while she was in law school as well, though that was so long ago I'd forgotten. My, I really am a stereotype tonight." He shook his head ruefully.

Donna returned with a drink a for Adrian and slipped her hand back in the crook of his arm. "You've always been a bit of a cliché, dear. I simply thought you did it on purpose." She looked him over critically. "At least you don't have that goatee anymore."

Alex tensed to move next to Patrice, but for a moment she wasn't sure. Old instincts, old habits were playing against new comforts. "And you're full of surprises as well. I had no idea you had a pattern, Adrian." She turned to Patrice, knowing that the formal introduction should tell Patrice most of what was missing from the conversation. "Adrian Thompson...and he didn't have a goatee when I met him."

The picture was gradually clearing for her, and she wasn't finding it helpful to her sense of comfort. She shifted slightly, smiling for lack of a better response. A wave of irrational protectiveness washed over her and she leaned in to kiss Alex's cheek, hazarding a covert glance at Adrian as she did so. She stood up straight again, a light smile on her lips. "Well I find myself quite obviously in the middle of a reunion of sorts, apparently my west coast hometown leaving me at a distinct disadvantage on the topic." The blond smiled again motioned to the mostly empty glass Alex was holding, indicating she was on the way for a refill herself. She wanted to step back, not knowing in the slightest what the correct response was in such a situation.

Adrian smiled warmly to Patrice; he recognized the nature of her kiss and was heartened to see that Alex had perhaps found someone...strange as the connections between them all were.. "I've no doubt you're more than capable of settling right in. Besides, I'm the one who has quite barged in on a very lovely party. So..." He stepped to Patrice and took her glass as well as Alex's, "I insist that you ladies let me refresh your drinks."

"Champagne and vodka, neat, for Patrice. And I believe Donna takes..." Adrian smiled lightly. "Scotch if I remember correctly."

"You do, though I'm drinking champagne tonight." She handed him her empty glass, smiling fondly as he walked off.

Patrice handed over her glass and watched him walk off through the crowd before turning back to look at the other women, her eyes now shining with a spark of interest. Her unspoken questions hung in the air, though she was unsure if they would be answered.

Alex took a deep breath. "Remember when I told you my first was a political science professor when I was in law school?" She kept her voice low and knew there would no need to elaborate in such a crowded room. "It seems like that's something Donna and I have in common. I...had no idea, Patrice."

She knew the blonde was curious, but she was still a little too thrown to be able to tell what other thoughts were going on there.

"It's certainly an amazing coincidence." Donna wasn't overly concerned about Patrice. She was confident that the other woman would adapt, but the entire situation was throwing her for a bit of a loop as well.

"Oh...," Patrice said, then it took several more moments before she actually comprehended Alex's statement. "Oooh..." she added, lamely, but indicating she now actually understood what had been said. "So he..? Oh." She fell into a frantic kind of silence, looking around the room at nothing in particular, working the situation out in her mind.

Alex squeezed Patrice's hand tightly for a moment moved closer to kiss her on the cheek. "He..." Alex shook her head. After Adrian informed her that she'd outgrown him, they lost touch. She was busy with work, and she was sure he got busy with someone else. It wasn't the most pleasant of partings, but they both saw it coming. But this was hardly the place to discuss it. "We can talk about it more later, okay." She turned to Donna. "May I use your restroom?"

"Of course." Donna pointed it out then watched Alex leave

After an apologetic look towards Patrice, she headed off in the direction Donna indicated, her chest tight as she tried to control her momentary panic.

Patrice was still nodding a little, mutely, as Alex left. She leaned a little closer to Donna, lowering her voice, "Well, I.... small world I suppose." It was a place filler she knew for her larger sense of shock at the situation. She had only just begun to realize how little she knew about either of these women, and was starting to worry that each wave of information was going to be followed by another larger one.

"Incredibly. I had no idea that he was going to show up tonight." Donna reached out and squeezed Patrice's hand. "Don't worry, I don't have anymore bombshells lurking in my past," she said, almost as if reading the other woman's mind. "Though, I think my sister is planning on visiting sometime soon..."

She couldn't be quite so reassuring about Alex

Patrice was slowly starting to adjust, calmed somewhat by Donna's quiet tone. Everyone had a past she realized, she just wasn't used to meeting many people with ones more complex than her own. She gave Donna a quiet smile, "I suppose I'm just going to have to get used to the unexpected again."

"So it seems." She squeezed Patrice's hand one more time before letting go. Adrian was coming back with their drink and she was sure that Alex wasn't  
too far behind.

Alex returned only moments after Adrian, and she did not hesitate to go to Patrice's side this time, putting her hand on the small of the other blonde's back. "Thank you," she said, taking the drink from Adrian. She turned to Patrice with a questioning look, silently asking if the other woman was all right.

Patrice managed a smile at Alex as she felt her palm on her back. She tried to remind herself that Alex was having a bit of a shock as well. She took her glass and sipped it eagerly.

Adrian could feel the tension around him, and that certainly hadn't been his intent. He sipped at his drink and rubbed Donna's hand on his arm. "You know, I think I see someone else I recognize, an old colleague. I should go say hello."

"Of course," Donna said, letting him kiss her cheek before he disappeared into the crowd.

Shaking her head, Alex watched him walk away. "I think he used to be more subtle than that," she said softly, a faint smile forming.

Patrice still watched in amazement, speaking under her breath, "I still can't believe what you two are telling me right now." She sipped her drink, getting used to the idea that Alex and Donna now had something more in common than herself.

"It seems that we have similar taste." Donna raised her eyebrows and smirked.

Alex pursed her lips. She was trying to calm her thoughts, to sort them. There would most certainly not be a night with Adrian, but she didn't think anyone really wanted that; so, she dismissed it immediately. "And so does he," he replied.

Patrice needed a moment; she smiled at the other women. "I should say hello to Aaron before he has his fourth drink and doesn't remember," she nodded to a blond man standing by the window. She nodded, and walked away across the room. She had no intent of carrying on a conversation for long, but needed some room to breathe.

Donna watched Patrice walk away and turned back to Alex. "So, this is awkward." They'd been dancing around it for a while now and it seemed to her that things might go better if she simply got it out in the open

****

 

As soon as he saw that she was alone, Adrian made sure he drifted over to Patrice. He smiled charmingly as he offered her another glass over vodka. "You look like you could use this."

Patrice turned only slightly, keeping her line of sight out the window. She nodded and took the offered drink, "Thanks." She smiled a little ruefully, "I suppose we have more than a little in common." There was a little edge to her voice still that the vodka hadn't yet washed away.

"On the surface, it seems." He sided with her and followed her gaze out of the dark window. The woman was most certainly striking; he could see what both Donna and Alex saw, and he could also see by the way she held herself that she had been well trained. "Donna's handiwork?" he asked as he ran a finger down her spine.

She stiffened slightly, not looking over, and nodded. "Yes, she was...is.... quite influential." She knew she was blushing, and hoped that the low lighting would hide it well enough; she didn't feel like exuding vulnerability just then.

"I'm sorry," he said, withdrawing his hand. "Please forgive an old man his habits." He was hardly old, but Adrian did have his habits. And he shouldn't have touched her without her permission in someone else's home. "Donna kept that part of her life very close, but I can see that you did well by each other. And Alex..." He chuckled. "Well, i can only imagine what's between you two."

She finally turned to face him fully, "Alex and I... yes, it's been a bit of a whirlwind, but we're enjoying it." She was smiling more to herself than to him now, fingers wrapping around her glass.

"Good." He nodded. "She still takes everything too seriously...I can tell." Adrian surveyed Patrice carefully, curiously rather than lasciviously. "You don't have anything to worry about from me, Miss LaRue. That I trained both Donna and Alexandra is...a rare coincidence and nothing more."

She lowered the glass slowly. Patrice had learned now that Alex had been trained by him, but was still having a hard time thinking of Donna as anything other than in control. She realized that in her mind Donna had just appeared fully formed, and hadn't thought that she also had had such a mentor. She couldnt' help herself, "Donna? You were her..." her voice trailed off, and she looked passive, thinking.

Adrian nodded. There was something childlike about that look of Patrice's, but it was immediately endearing. "Yes, Donna. I was a new professor, and she...well, she needed something to both focused and rigorous that wasn't the focus or rigors of school."

Her mind was making peace with the information, she smiled a little, "yes, that I can understand. What I learned from Donna went further than private life."

"Ah," he replied, his face lighting with understanding. "Well, I have no doubt that you excelled in both arenas."

She smiled, though she was still ill at ease, Patrice had to admit that Adrian 's easy nature was charming despite one's interests. "Thank you for the vote of confidence."

"It's not something I would give lightly. Both Donna and Alex...mm, well they have particular taste. Though, I must admit, I'm rather curious about what precisely you and Alex have." He wasn't reading the signs of what he and Donna or what he and Alex had, and that surprised him.

She was surprised, not stupid, and caught his meaning, "It's different. I haven't had the relationship Donna and I had with anyone else really. It would be hard to adjust to another. Donna and I were a good match for it, and she was there when I needed it most." She paused to take a drink and gather her thoughts, "Alex and I are just figuring things out as we go, but I think we've found it refreshing to be with someone on the same level."

"Interesting." He smiled again and nodded politely towards Patrice. "Don't let me keep you, Miss LaRue."

She wasn't that many years from her training, and in spite of herself acknowledged the dismissal for what it was. Patrice nodded politely and turned around to look for Alex again.

 

****

Alex pursed her lips; she was having trouble containing her discomfort. "Yeah, I think that covers it..."

Donna nodded. "You know, after tonight, we can just pretend this never happened." Donna still wasn't sure how she felt about all of this.

"I'm not sure either of us is that kind of woman. I'm just..." Alex shook her head. "Caught off guard."

"Believe me, I understand completely."

Alex rubbed her head and tried to pull herself together. "So he trained you?"

Donna nodded. "When I was in law school." She was wishing for something strong than champagne. "I have a feeling that sounds familiar."

"Yeah..." Alex swallowed. "It's got to be a coincidence. I hardly think Adrian has been going for girls in law school for years." She laughed at the thought.

"Oh, I'm sure it is. It's just very... coincidental. You'll forgive me if I don't exactly feel like comparing notes tonight."

"No...of course," Alex said, suddenly feeling Patrice's absence keenly. "I'm sure we can all enjoy ourselves like normal adults."

Donna nodded. "Exactly." She had a party to host and other guests to speak to. That should have been more than distracting enough for her.

"I won't keep you," Alex said. She was already turning, looking for Patrice. It wasn't the most graceful exit, but she wasn't dwelling on that.

Donna didn't think badly of Alex for essentially fleeing. If anything, she was grateful. She watched Alex find Patrice and then turned toward the rest of her guests.


	22. Interruption

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Summary: Patrice and Alex slip away from Donna's housewarming for a little while.
> 
> Disclaimer: Law and Order SVU belongs to Dick Wolf and NBC.
> 
> A/N: We would like to note that this fic, as it progresses, is in no way meant to represent an entirely realistic representation of the BDSM Scene. This is a fictionalized, somewhat Romanticized account, in which many of the intricate details are left between the lines. However, despite the poetic license, we hope the portrayal is thoughtful and enjoyable.

Alex tried to keep any encounters she had brief. She had her eye on Patrice, but crossing the room to her was proving quite the task. Finally, after just brushing past a former colleague, she found herself behind the blonde. For a brief, knowing moment, she pressed against Patrice's back before moving to her side and taking her hand. "Hey..."

Patrice felt her skin tingle where Alex's breath brushed across it. She had been pretending to look out the window at the dark city outside, and was pulled out of her reverie by Alex's touch. She squeezed the other blonde's hand and leaned over, kissing her quietly on the cheek, reassuring her silently that things were all right or would be anyway.

Relaxing slightly at the touch of Patrice's lips, Alex smiled. "You've...been getting the short end of the stick with surprises lately," she said, ending in a closed lip, apologetic smile. She hadn't expected the night with Liz to go so badly as it did, and with the almost expert way Patrice had handled it, Alex felt like she still had to make up for that. And Adrian...she could only imagine what he had said to Patrice. She saw them speaking, and it only served to remind her that she did not like circumstances beyond her control.

Patrice returned the smile, and let it grow slightly mischievous, "I have been lately; however, I don't hold the monopoly on surprises." She pulled a card out of her purse and handed it to Alex, "I took the liberty of saying you'd meet with Anthony Webber at Darrow &amp; Meyers on Monday; he's the hiring partner and is looking forward to talking to you." Patrice raised an eyebrow, waiting for Alex to respond. It was a good introduction, but such things came naturally to Patrice, she collected contacts like some did stamps, and was methodical about it.

Alex took the card and flipped it in her fingers out of habit. She blinked before her smile grew wide when she met Patrice's eyes. "Thank you." She tucked the card into her handbag and took Patrice's hand again. "Seriously...thank you, Patrice." She wasn't really think about where she was moving, where she was pulling Patrice, but when Alex reached the foot of the stairs, she didn't stop. There was something to aspect of networking that Alex had to rethink, to restrategize now that she had resolved herself to things never returning to what they were. That Patrice had begun the process for her was an unexpected relief. That Patrice had undertaken it without a second though told Alex volumes. She offered her own mischievous smile as she pulled Patrice into a room, hoping to God it wasn't Donna's bedroom.

Patrice watched Alex's eyes as she allowed herself to be led upstairs, and quietly shut the door behind them when she saw them shining with passion and a hint of playfulness. The night had been tense and uncertain, and they were both in need of reassurances from the other. Patrice looked around quickly, and noticed a familiar painting of the broad sand beach near where Donna lived when she met her, and smiled with the nostalgia. She turned back to Alex in front of her and quietly tucked a strand of hair behind her ear before leaning in to kiss her.

Leaning into the kiss, she took Patrice's waist firmly with her hands and pulled her close. "Let's just forget whoever is downstairs," she murmured, lips still brushing Patrice's.

Patrice answered between kisses, pushing Alex toward the bed against the far wall. "Yes....that sounds...perfect." She wouldn't usually be that agreeable to such a situation, but the night was already more than she had been prepared for. And the three vodkas she had finished had gotten together and were doing a good job of convincing her this was the right move to make.

Alex took several smooth steps back before simply turning and pulling Patrice by the hand. She wasted no time in firmly pushing the blonde down to the bed and getting on top of her, pressing her thigh between Patrice's legs and using it to push her skirt up. "And I'll just focus," she whispered as she started to kiss down Patrice's jaw, "on making you moan."

Patrice's breath hissed through her teeth at Alex's touch, and she arched up into the other woman's body, head tilted back. She brought her hands up to slide along Alex's back, tugging her shirt out, and then tangling in her long gold hair. The din of the crowd below faded, and she could only hear Alex's breath, and her own pulse thudding in her ears.

The touch only pushed Alex on. She pressed Patrice's skirt up, wrinkling it the last thing on her mind, with her thigh. She could feel heat through Patrice's panties, and she moaned, lips still pressed to the blonde's skin. Alex took a moment to lift, to look down into Patrice's eyes, and she shuddered at how bright they were with desire. "Tell me what you want," she demanded.

Patrice felt that Alex expected her to form any sort of verbal answer at that moment absolutely ridiculous. She was panting, moving under Alex with obvious want, needing release. Her voice was breathless, "God... Alex... I want you to fuck me, to make me come." She didn't want to, couldn't wait, her mind was spinning with the drink and the moment.

Before she could finish, Alex was frantically undoing buttons on Patrice's shirt. She didn't want to wait, didn't care what requests Patrice might have made other than the obvious. She gave up on the shirt when she was almost finished and simply pulled Patrice's panties off instead. Alex couldn't feel enough of her skin, but she could feel Patrice writhing underneath her, and she wanted to hear her moan. She pressed her fingers inside of the blonde and let part of her weight fall on Patrice. "Moan," Alex growled, nipping at her ear as she began to thrust firmly.

She didn't need Alex to make the request, and barely heard her speak over her own breath. She gave in and groaned with pleasure and arousal. Her body was racing toward release, and she pressed herself shamelessly down onto Alex's fingers, faster as Alex picked up a rhythm. And Alex moaned at the sound and pressed herself against Patrice's thigh. She closed her eyes tightly, her senses flooding with the sounds Patrice was making as she pressed harder and began to scrape her thumbnail over her clit.

Patrice moaned again and slid both hands up under Alex's skirt. She gripped the blonde's hips, pressing her down onto her thigh, encouraging her to continue, keeping up the fast pace. She captured Alex's mouth in a frenzied, deep kiss, already starting to fall over the edge as Alex touched her more intently, and Alex met the kiss, moaning into it as she squirmed against the pressure of Patrice's skin. Alex continued thrusting apace, pushing Patrice through and only slowing, eventually stopping when she began to come down. She did not still, however, because she wasn't willing to wait any longer for her own release. Alex shifted, somehow pulling her panties off before rolling Patrice on top of her in a silent demand.

Patrice's body hadn't yet regained its equilibrium as Alex moved under her, and she started a moment at the sudden change of position. She recovered quickly, however, and seeing Alex's expression, didn't hesitate to reach and press her fingers between the blond's legs, moving firmly into her. She picked up the same quick pace that Alex had just set moments earlier, and leaned in to kiss Alex's neck as she moved, listening appreciatively to the other woman's labored breath.

Alex pressed into the touch and began to rake her nails down Patrice's back. "Patrice," she said breathlessly, closing her eyes. She was so close, and she wanted nothing more than to be there in a tangle of limbs, of skin and sweat.

She groaned when Alex's nails pressed against her back, and she could envision the red lines now painted down her skin. She pressed into Alex harder, working her clit with her thumb. She leaned back slightly to watch Alex's expression while she came, pushing her through, wanting to pull every last shudder and moan from the beautiful woman under her.

Soundlessly, breathlessly, Alex moaned Patrice's name, head throw to the side back arching as she tensed only to release in the next moment. She came with quiet force, moaning softly after she had begun to come down. Blinking up at Patrice, she smiled and pulled her close. "I don't want to let you go," she whispered, voice thick.

Patrice's head was still swimming, both from her release, and from watching Alex. She collapsed into the other blond, quietly sliding her hands up to rest on either side of Alex, breath steadying. She smiled against the other woman's flushed and warm skin, "Then don't." She kissed her shoulder and then lay her head in the crook of Alex's neck, feeling her pulse on her lips.

"Mm." Alex breathed in the scent of Patrice's hair and closed her eyes contentedly. After a long few moments, she began to stroke Patrice's back idly. "I think another weekend trip is in order soon...if we can manage it."

Patrice smiled, not moving from her position, "I have to agree there Miss Alex." Her fingers were now idly working, unbuttoning Alex's shirt and caressing the flesh underneath as it was revealed.

Alex felt her stomach tighten and drop in delight at the soft touch and she shifted to accommodate it. "Christmas?" she asked, breathiness betraying her already rising desire. "Or will you be seeing family?"

Patrice deliberately pushed Alex's shirt off and reached around to unhook her bra as she talked, "I have no plans as of yet, and unless you count my doorman and my favorite news anchor, there's no one in particular I was planning on seeing over the holiday." She smiled a bit, "And I'm sure they'd miss me, but I'd much rather spend the time with you." The fabric removed, she began to tease Alex's breasts, pinching her nipples gently, enjoying as they hardened against her fingers.

The blonde shivered visibly at the touch and smiled. She finished what she had started with Patrice's shirt before running her fingers gently over the marks she had made. "Mm... Well, I'll have to consult the girls, but I think...we can say that's a plan."

Kissing her, Patrice slowly enjoyed the moment. She released her lips after a moment and looked up at Alex, smiling. She shifted back, hands reaching down to rid Alex of her skirt, dropping it on the floor. Patrice moved over her and kissed her again, hands roaming slowly over the blonde's smooth skin. Their location forgotten, she grinned down at Alex, making her intent obvious. She had the urge to take her time now, and was going to have it fulfilled.

Alex shivered with obvious delight as she shifted under the touch. She met Patrice's gaze and smiled broadly before a small moan escaped her lips. She had gotten what she wanted, and she had no desire to keep Patrice from the same.

The last of Donna's guests had slowly filtered out of the house, even Adrian finally kissing her cheek good bye and insisting she come to New Haven to visit him, when Donna noticed the two extra coats still hanging in her hall closet. She knew they were Alex and Patrice's, but she had already checked all of the rooms downstairs without turning up any trace of them. That left only the rooms upstairs and she was mildly trepidatious about what she might find when she started opening doors. Still, when she finally did open the door on them, she was completely shocked. It was a good minute before she could think well enough to speak. "Patrice..."

Patrice was working her way down Alex's stomach with her lips and didn't register the door opening, starting when she heard Donna, she would recognize that voice anywhere. She swore and whipped around, frantically trying to move away and her legs caught in a tangle of sheets and Alex. Before she could react, she lost her balance, and fell over the edge of the bed onto the floor with an ominous thud.

Alex was already sitting up, reaching for the sheets when they were pulled completely away by Patrice. She drew her legs up, covering herself as best she could as she tried desperately not to blush too deeply. "Donna..."

Raising her eyebrows, Donna swallowed, trying not to stare at the assortment of naked limbs. She was torn between yelling and laughing and ended up somewhere between the two. "You know, if the two of you had wanted to spend the night, all you had to do was ask." She sounded much more composed than she felt.

Patrice had managed to tug part of the sheet down and around herself, and was peering over the edge of the bed at Donna. Her mouth was opening and closing wordlessly, and she tried to move back over next to Alex casually. However, this impression was lost when halfway she lost hold of part of the sheet, and it dropped around her waist before she was able to recapture it. She sat next to Alex finally, blushing violently, and couldn't help but laugh, "I... we were... well... sorry Donna." To be honest she wasn't exactly sure quite how they had taken it this far, but was hoping Donna would be, if not amused, at least not angry at their behavior.

Alex was trying to contain a chuckle behind closed, twitching lips, but she barely got through Patrice's apology before fully formed laughter came out. She put her arm around Patrice and pulled the sheet to cover herself as well. "Can we make it up to you?" she blurted.

"Make it up to me?" Alex's laughter was contagious. Somehow, she just couldn't stay mad at them. "And just how are you going to do that?" She tried to look stern, but she had a feeling that she was failing.

She was still embarrassed, her earlier years with Donna did not fall away that easily. Sill, she laughed quietly and turned and raised both eyebrows at Alex, then Donna. Donna definitely wasn't mad, and she could feel the atmosphere in the room shifting. She looked across to the older woman, "Are we the last ones at the party?"

"Unless someone is lurking in my pantry," she said sardonically. She wondered what Patrice was thinking.

Alex smiled and tried to compose herself. She was feeling lighter, playful almost. And after everything that had been going on in the past weeks, including Adrian showing up that night, she needed the laughter. "Then we won't be taking you away from anyone."

Yes, she was reading Alex exactly right, and smiled. She shifted a little closer to the other blond and kissed her lightly, wondering how Donna would react. They had certainly been more than out of line, but she found Donna harder to read now that their relationship had changed.

Donna shook her head. "The two of you should have just gone for broke and stumbled into my bedroom." She turned and headed down the hallway.

Alex raised her eyebrows as she turned to Patrice. She took a moment to breath, to brush back a strand of Patrice's hair. "Well, I think we've been summoned..."

She looked over at Alex and nodded, then kissed her deeply, and slid off the bed, taking the sheet with her. She turned back and grinned at Alex, "Yes, yes I believe we have been."

The blonde pursed her lips as she slid off the bed. She left her clothing behind and walked as casually as she could manage in the direction Donna had gone, glancing over her shoulder to see if Alex was following.

**Author's Note:**

> Wondering what's happening to the characters introduced throughout and in the backstories?  
>   
> See:  
>   
> [Bridled](http://archiveofourown.org/works/68312)  
>   
> **Pairing(s)**: Caterina Saxton/Sadie Legarde, Kris Bernard/Madeleine Vidmar (pre), Hilda Bor/Caterina Saxton (past), Hilda Bor/Geoffrey Keegan (implied)  
> **Rating:** NC-17  
> **Summary:** Caterina has a new challenge for Sadie, and that opens up s world of new challenges accompanied by new faces.  
> **Note:**Parts of this piece take place simultaneously as parts of "Stable."  
>   
>   
> [Stable](http://archiveofourown.org/works/68336)  
>   
> **Pairing(s)**: Kris Bernard/Madeleine Vidmar (pre), Madeleine Vidmar/Etienne Molyneux (implied)  
> **Rating:** M  
> **Summary:** Kris Bernard finds herself settling into the new aspect of her career and facing a few surprises.  
> **Note:**Parts of this piece take place simultaneously as parts of "Bridled"  
>   
>   
> [Chevaux](http://archiveofourown.org/works/82803/chapters/111297)  
>   
> **Pairing(s)**: Kris Bernard/Madeleine Vidmar, Hilda Bor/Geoffrey Keegan/Meriam Roux, Geoffrey Keegan/Meriam Roux, Via/Arizona, Hilda Bor/Ancelote Brun  
> **Rating:** M  
> **Summary:** Quite a few ponies have come through Kris and Hilda's lives, but some more than stand out.  
> **Note:**Parts of this piece take place simultaneously as parts of "Bridled" and "Stable."  
>   
>   
> [Mosaic](http://archiveofourown.org/works/71552/chapters/94768)  
>   
> **Pairing(s)**: Caterina/Hilda, Caterina/Hilda/Geoffrey  
> **Rating:** NC-17  
>   
>   
> **Update:** See the original characters for the [Circumstance Series](http://archiveofourown.org/series/2042) in the updated [Visual Guide](http://community.livejournal.com/circumstance_ff/7330.html#cutid1) (NSFW).
> 
> [Character Bios with pics and info not in the fics!](http://community.livejournal.com/circumstance_ff/14359.html#cutid1)

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Connected](https://archiveofourown.org/works/56550) by [futureimperfect](https://archiveofourown.org/users/futureimperfect/pseuds/futureimperfect), [Miri Cleo (miri_cleo)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/miri_cleo/pseuds/Miri%20Cleo)
  * [Protégé](https://archiveofourown.org/works/55722) by [futureimperfect](https://archiveofourown.org/users/futureimperfect/pseuds/futureimperfect), [Miri Cleo (miri_cleo)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/miri_cleo/pseuds/Miri%20Cleo)
  * [Continuity](https://archiveofourown.org/works/65124) by [futureimperfect](https://archiveofourown.org/users/futureimperfect/pseuds/futureimperfect), [Miri Cleo (miri_cleo)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/miri_cleo/pseuds/Miri%20Cleo)




End file.
